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1st Trimester
General Question about Baby Showers
Okay..so I hope this doesn't come off as being selfish. I am pregnant with my second child. I did have a baby shower with my first (she'll be 3 1/2 when new baby arrives) however I gave pretty much all baby things away, minus the clothing. Is it awful of me to want another baby shower? I believe in a baby shower for each pregnancy (that's how my family is- as I did for my sister) but I don't think my hubby's family feels that way. I don't want to bring anything up, but I love the whole prospect of it. I love the family getting together, celebrating over food and cake...opening gifts in front of people...and just having a good time.
Help please! My family would have a shower for me, but they live in Texas and I live in NY!!!!
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Re: General Question about Baby Showers
you can have a shower for yourself for your 2nd baby, but people will talk about you. A good friend of mine did that, and because she's a good friend I don't mind, but I did think it was a little greedy.
Are you only inviting the in laws? You could just have something with your friends if your family isn't around.
that's true! however I'm hoping for a girl so that we won't have to worry about clothes! hahaha! i've got so much for my daughter! i saved every outfit! either way, we'll be incredibly happy.
i just hope someone throws me something. i love ot feel special!
I do however think it's tacky to ask for a shower. Maybe you can drop some subtle hints (and I mean subtle) but don't get too upset if no one offers to throw you one.
My family always does at least one shower per baby - it's so much fun! I completely understand where you're coming from; I'd be wanting one too!
But, I would also feel bad requesting one if nobody thought it was necessary, especially since you can't throw one for yourself. Is there any chance coworkers or friends will throw you one?
I think if someone wants to throw you a baby shower, that's fine, but IMO it would be pretty rude of you to ask someone to throw you one or even hint that they should.
This.
This.
If your having a boy then I agree you should be able to have a shower without hearing flack from friends or relatives. Especially since you didnt have one with the first baby.
Drop some hints to your friends! We threw my girlfriend a "sprinkle" for her sencond baby. Just a small gatering at a resturant and we gave her a few needed items.
IMO, showers for a second (or more) child are tacky, regardless of the sex of the baby, unless there is a huge age difference from the last child and the new one (maybe 10 years or so).
It's out of your control, if your family or friends want to throw one for you, then great. I wouldn't.
Since we love to celebrate all new babies in my circle of friends and family, we like to throw a "sprinkle", which is a small, intimate celebration, and we just give essentials, like diapers, baby wipes, formula, etc... no big gifts.
I wouldn't come out and ask for one but if people would like to give you one then I see nothing wrong with letting that happen.
I had 1 for each of my son's and they were 4 years apart. They were born the same month and I had all of the clothes from the first but It was nice to get new things. That's just what happened in the circle of friends I was apart of then. You had a shower no matter if it was your 1st or your 7th. I think the feeling was that people were doing it for the baby not the mother and they didn't think the new baby should be slighted just because they had big brothers and/or sisters.
With this baby, we have nothing. This is my 2nd marriage and DH's first baby. My boys are almost 10 & 14 so I have nothing left from when they were little, except a few special outfits that I saved. DH's family is planning a shower for us but not because we've asked. That's just what they do.
I think showers for second babies are in very poor taste and that giving away your baby stuff was poor planning on your part. Most people will assume you have what you need.
Also, why on earth should she get to have a shower if she has a boy. Sorry, but this is crazy. Just because the baby is a different sex, this does not warrant another shower.
the more I think about it the more I feel like this. Your baby is your responsibility. We are not planning on anyone buying us stuff and saving money accordingly.
This is a cute idea.. though I wouldn't do a registry, which would make people feel they're expected to get gifts.
this.
If you like parties, then YOU can probably throw a small get together after the baby is around, so people can meet your baby - and chances are, they'll bring you little outfits and whatnot, since you seem to like opening gifts.
Thank you to all who replied! For those of you with nice things to say...thank you especially. "To those of you whole replied with: since you felt secure enough in your finances to give all of you baby stuff away"- you know don't the first thing about me and my reasons for giving baby stuff away...and it was not because I am rich and wanted to get rid of them. So thanks for that!
Everyone who gave the sprinkle or picnic ideas...i love it! I've never heard of that! Such a cute idea! Thanks for your input ladies!
Have a wonderful day!
My FMIL and I are planning a a shower for my FSILS. One is overdue and this is her third kid, she wasn't planning on having anymore children and gave her sister all of her clothes and such, her sister has clearly stated she just wants diapers and wipes for any presents. I wouldn't directly ask for a shower but think it would be ok if someone offered. DH2B's family celebrates every baby with shower whether big or small, though they are typically smaller.
Don't twist words. I specifically said, "IF I FELT secure enough ...." I keep things with the idea in mind that if I can't afford to replace it in the future, I don't get rid of it. All I see right now is you trying to justify a gift-grab, since you specifically mentioned that you gave away all your baby stuff (even though your child is still a toddler).
I never implied that you were rich - most rich people I know (and I know quite a few) don't have showers. They instead have spa days with the ladies, or trips to other destinations with a group of friends before they give birth.
Baby showers - very much like bridal showers - are supposed to help out new parents who don't have a lot of the (sometimes expensive) baby gear that is needed/expected for kids these days. If you want to celebrate your baby, wait till the baby is born, don't register, and have some people over to celebrate.
I have a cousin who guilted someone into hosting a second shower for her (her other child is two and a half years old). I bought her a highchair for the first, and declined the invitation for the second, as did everyone else in my family. Like it or not, people will see it as a gift-grab, and I'm sorry that you can't accept opinions gracefully and twist them into personal attacks.
Definitely this. What was your reason for giving away your stuff?
If you ask for advice you have to accept that not everyone is going to agree with you and give you just what you want to hear. Your right we don't know the first thing we are going off of the info YOU gave us. If you don't want responses don't ask for advice.
This.
I liked the idea of having a picnic or dinner for people to meet the new baby, especially because it means you could host it. However, I think asking someone else to give you a formal shower is a bad idea. Give people the chance to be generous. People are a lot more willing to give when they don't feel obligated to do so. And no offense but people have already given you things for your first child, they may not respond as well the second time considering you are the one that gave the items away.
thank you to all who replied (again ;-) )
to the person who asked for my reasons of giving all of my baby stuff away, i didn't want to disclose this information...but my husband and i seperated at this time and i moved across the county with my young child (at the time). i didn't ahve room for it, nor could i afford to move it! so i hope that answers your question. (btw...we've been incredibly happilly back together for two years)
i do like the idea of having everyone over to celebrate the birth of the baby. that sounds good...like having a specific day to come instead of everyone coming at sparatic points. or a picnic or something. we're actully moving into our new house in two weeks, so this will be a great way to get the house together and make sure it's in tip top shape.
so thanks for the great ideas! we're sooo excited about otte baby #2....and our daughter is even more excited!
to those who felt like i was taking too much offense to your post..i probably was! i wasn't expecting some of the words that were used to describe the idea. but it's fine..i have a backbone...i hope everyone has a great day and hopefully baby treats ya well today! ;-)