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How did you get Dh on board?

clynn58clynn58 member
in Alaska Babies
With AP I have tried to explain it in many different ways but he sees it as being a mama's boy and I need to let go and allow DS to CIO. He does not understand that CIO is not an option with me. Any help so we can be on the same page would be great. TIA
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Re: How did you get Dh on board?

  • ValerianOddityValerianOddity

    My SO thinks I'm nuts.  While he wasn't necessarily on board with following AP practices for their own sake, he is very supportive of what is important to me.  I got him to read the chapter for daddies in Dr. Sears Attachment Parenting Book, and after doing so, he said, "I already do most of that!"  I thought it was kinda cute... I have a "natural" AP daddy!  *giggle*

    The only thing he doesn't do that I wish I could convince him of the benefits of is babywearing.  Because he's seen pictures of famous people doing it, he thinks it's a fad, and that "babies shouldn't be used as fashion accessories."  I wear Gabriel all the time, so I am hoping to convince him by example.

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  • FutureGosnellFutureGosnell
    I did a bunch of reading and just dropped little ideas here and there to DH. A lot of it however has been showing him what works. For example he was aganist DS sleeping in the bed with us. I tried for many nights to get DS to sleep in the pack and play right next to the bed, but it just wasn't working. So I started putting him in the bed part way through the night. When DH saw that DS and I were getting way more sleep and were both much happier he was happy having him sleep in the bed. Just this morning he told me how he was awake in the middle of the night (what Adults don't STTN?!?) and how sweet it was that DS had his hand on DH's arm.
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  • FutureGosnellFutureGosnell
    imageValerianOddity:

    The only thing he doesn't do that I wish I could convince him of the benefits of is babywearing.  Because he's seen pictures of famous people doing it, he thinks it's a fad, and that "babies shouldn't be used as fashion accessories."  I wear Gabriel all the time, so I am hoping to convince him by example.

    DH isn't into the babywearing too much either. Which is funny because I bought a neutral colored ergo so we could share. He does however carry DS everywhere and talks to him so I figure that is just as good.

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  • m_and_mm_and_m

    First off, I didn't ask him. I'm the primary parent so I make the decisions and if he has any questions and issues then we talk about it. Otherwise he follows my lead (which is good because I don't have to fight him on stuff, but bad because I'd like him to be more proactive with researching what's best as opposed to listening to the guys at the office).

    When we talk about it, I explain to him why I've made the choices I have and the benefits to it as well as the drawbacks to what he wants to do. Then he shares his view of the drawbacks of my choice and benefits to his. The only things we've had issues with are sleep training and how to handle tantrums. He's 100% on board with no ST now, but he still disagrees with how I handle tantrums although he goes along with it anyhow and supports me in front of others.

    Really though, it's all about educating him. This is a huge reason why I'm glad we have a DD and not a DS- I know that with a girl he's going to be softer and more emotionally giving. If we have a DS in the future I know DD already has him primed too.

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