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Austin Babies
Nestie Advice vs. Mom's Advice (f/u Fiesty)
DH wants to know why I listen to the advice of nesties and not our mothers. I do take our mother's advice sometimes (when I think it makes sense) but really you girls JUST had babies. Our mothers are going off what they think they remember doing. Am I the only only one who does this?
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Re: Nestie Advice vs. Mom's Advice (f/u Fiesty)
My mother's advice isn't necessarily worthless, but she last had a baby in 1982. Doctor recommendations have changed since then. Safety standards have changed. We were all put to bed on our tummies in cribs with blankets and stuffed animals. Now we put our babies to bed on their backs in bare cribs to prevent SIDS. Things change.
Other moms who have had babies in the last couple of years often have more updated recommendations from doctors, not to mention an ongoing relationship with a pediatrician that our mothers don't have anymore.
I value my mother's advice when it comes to how she handled certain things with me and especially with regard to education and early childhood development. But then, my mom is a preschool director and is required to be up to date on the education and development of 3 and 4 year olds.
Meredith, 6-1-06 and Alex, 11-5-09
Bingo!
I don't necessarily take nestie or mom advice, but I do take it from people who have a similar parenting philosophy or experience with that particular subject. EX: I already know my mom's way of potty training is not something I agree with (I think it was mean, not that I remember my personal experience), so I won't listen to her about that. But she's a retired nurse, so I do listen to her about medical stuff but even then sometimes Taytee's words come out on top because her training is more current.
My MIL doesn't give advice because she had a tenuous relationship with DH until shortly after we got married so she doesn't feel it's her place. Thankfully, because I know her ideas are waaaaaaay off from mine. I tell DH that too, because I'm not going to let someone else tell me to do something that doesn't jive just to keep the peace between us. Well, not at this point but I did in the early days before I got my footing as a mom.
I also listen to what people say and then do what mostly closely lines up with our parenting style. Most of the time that turns into trying what other nesties have done because they are dealing with the same situations now and have usually tried a couple different things and can maybe help to give me ideas that I hadn't previously thought about. And, of course, our info now is much more current. Everyone in our family thinks its cruel that we don't use blankets in the crib, even though I know we dress our kids warm enough. We don't use bumpers either and MIL thinks its a "shame" because it could be so pretty... Well, my kids are alive and I'll take that over "pretty."
I do that too.
BUT I will give my mom and MIL props- they actually do remember a lot more than I give them credit for., and a lot of the stuff they remember is still what's done today. I know my mom doesn't "read up" on current baby stuff, but she knows things have changed and often knows how it's done now.