If your parents/ILs live far away:

Mandalyn8 · August 2009

Maybe this is a stupid question...I tend to over-think!

When are they coming to visit around the time of the birth? I'm mostly curious right now because my mom and I have yet to talk about this. I'm just wondering, as far as them taking time off from work, is it typical for grandparents who live far to just schedule a particular week off from work, and then come and stay whether the baby has made her appearance yet or not? I mean, what if I deliver a week early or late? I don't want anyone but DH in the delivery room, but I want them to be able to visit almost directly afterward!

kellygirl0515 · August 2009

My family lives in GA (and we live in NY). When my DS was born they came a few wks after his birth. When this LO is due they will do the same thing. I'm a bit crazy when it comes to having people around me all the time, especially after birth and trying to get used to everything - ha! Kel

Mereou12 · August 2009

Both my parents and the ILs live several states away. My parents are planning on coming down shortly after the birth (around the day I come home, most likely), but they're retired, so they have a pretty flexible schedule.

If they need to schedule time off and travel arrangements in advance, maybe have them look at a week or two after your due date. They might not be there for the first few days you're home, but it'll still be early--and you'll be able to spend the first days getting acquainted with your LO.

MrsDT · August 2009

My parents are probably going to come a week later. My husband is going to be home for the first week, and I want it to be just the three of us. I'd love for my parents to be here right after the birth, go home and come back a week later and stay.....but they live 4 hours away so that doesn't make a lot of sense.

TwoBecomeOne2007 · August 2009

for mine I plan on having them use a bereavement/hospital fare for the airline. If a person is in the hospital you can use those fares you just give them the name of the hospital. I figure she can get there for or soon after the birth and stay a week or two.

ayden&sydneysmom · August 2009

I haven't talked with my mom about this either. I assume once the LO gets her she will take a few days off and come and visit. Now my MIL lives in Germany and we'll see her here sometime soon since she'll becoming to DC, after the baby is born the next spring she want's to buy us plane tickets to come see her but I'm not sure about traveling that far with a 2 yr old and a 5 month old.

iowagirl73 · August 2009

When DS#1 was born both sets of grandparents lived about 14hr away. My parents were the first to come out and we told them not to leave their house until they got the phone call from us. Our plan was to time things so that they would get there the day after we got home from the hospital. That way, my mom could finish up a day of work if needed plus I didn't need or want visitors in the hospital. They stayed for a couple of weeks. Then my ILs came out. My FIL/MIL stayed for 1 week, my MIL stayed for 2 additional weeks to help me out (my husband deployed while my ILs were there) and so I would have a gradual "downgrade" in the number of adults there were to help. Total I had help for 5wk and was glad I did. A lot of people don't want anyone there for the first few weeks but IMO that is when I needed the most help. Having a baby is a huge transition. I remember one of the first things DH and I said to ourselves when we got home with the baby was "now what do we do?".

IlovemyGeek · August 2009

I'm due right after the holidays so I don't know if they will just visit during or what?

jessloveschase08 · August 2009

I honestly think that as soon as my FI calls my parents they will all pile in a car and drive the 2 hours to see me.

My FI's mom lives in Canada so thank goodness I don't have to deal with her.

wordtoyourmother · August 2009

My family lives in another state so we decided they should come a week after LO's scheduled due date. Unfortunately, they wont be there for the birth.

MelissaAB5579 · August 2009

My family lives 1,000 miles away. I'm not sure when they will be able to come see us once he gets here. My Dad is just starting a new job so it may be hard to get time off.

ElloPoppet · August 2009

My parents live in CA & I live in NY now. They're both retired, but Mom's excuse for not visiting is that she "can't" leave grandma alone. It's partially true, she is 88, but we have other people that can care for her & check up on her for a couple days. I would hope my parents would consider flying out a week or two post-birth, but it will also be snowing here, and they aren't used to that, so who knows. If they don't want to get off their bums & fly out here, they'll just have to wait several more months to see me & baby.

mooeta · August 2009

My mom won't come to visit until after we let her know the baby is born. She probably won't come until Feb. even though I'm due in Jan. Although if I needed her she'd start driving as soon as I was in labor

. I don't know if my IL's will be visiting. It might have to wait until we can visit them.

emmyloustu · August 2009

My Mom and MIL and me have been obsessively talking and thinking about this since they both live in the same town 6hrs away. My EDD is Christmas Eve which really complicated travel plans, so we wanted to make sure we really thought it out.

Here is the plan: My parents and ILs will fly here on 12/23 regardless of what my labor situation is. They were able to scoop up $49 flights on Southwest so that was hard to pass up for holiday travel. We figured it would be fun to have everyone together for Christmas anyway. My ILs plan to stay for one week and my parents will stay for 2 weeks. Hopefully I will deliver this LO right around my due date to maximize everyone's stay. If I go really early, they will probably just call the airline and exchange their tickets. If I go really late, they will stay as long as they can. My ILs are retired so they have lots of flexibility, but my mom's schedule is much more complicated.

It is a lot to think about! Hopefully we have a cooperative LO

mrs_sherod · August 2009

We live in Maryland and my MIL live in Illinois and FIL lives in Missouri. MIL is coming during school Christmas break, I'm due December 11th. We are planning to visit FIL for Easter next year so the family can see him then. My parents live here, so they'll get to see him anytime.

If your fam can come visit during Christmas, that may work better.

Sheeks88 · August 2009

When my IL's 2nd grandchild was born they decided to wait a month before visiting, because they found it a little akward with their first grand daughter. With DS they waited at least a month, but with this baby they are talking about being here a couple days before the EDD. DH doesn't think they should come early incase I go past my due date. I don't mind them coming early, I just hope they don't think I am going to give up my 2 day old baby to them all day.

MathewandApryl · August 2009

My parents are planning on coming around her due date. My doctor won't let me go much longer. If she comes early, she comes early. At least they'll get to see her.

greycoral · August 2009

We're not even telling family about the baby until after he has arrived. MIL lives on the east coast, and my mom lives in CA (We're in Oregon). I really don't want any visitors for at least a week, two would be ideal. I'm not close with my mom or my MIL for that matter, so I could really care less if either of them come to visit.

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