DH has put treatments on hold...

2006july15bride · July 2009

Anyone else have to drag their hubby to the RE? We started tests during the spring but other things have happened and now DH wants to wait until next summer before we move ahead. Meanwhile all my friends are getting pregnant or going to RE's themselves and I've been TTC the longest. Crying

I wish I could just forget about it all but everywhere I go are reminders...you all know how it goes.

jhleap · July 2009

There are a lot of factors to consider and discuss:

Your age, the type of treatment, cost etc.

When my DH put the brakes on, I went to RE without him and looked into Donor Sperm. But I am 38 yrs old. And I am the primary breadwinner, so what I want was my priority.

XXXXX222 · July 2009

I'm sorry treatments are on hold for you.

But also I think that being emotionally ready for treatments is important. Be patient with him and maybe he will come around sooner than that.

06hoky · July 2009

Is there a reason why he is wanting to wait? MH has made comments about if he has to test that he won't want to do it. I guess it's a little more uncomfortable/embarrassing for them. Also could be a pride issue. Good luck with it...I hope he comes around soon.

jeannaqueena · July 2009

Last month DH saw how upset I was getting and was like lets take a month off, well that made me more mad and stressed....ended up bawling and i don't think he will suggest it again.

gidge · July 2009

I'm sorry he wants to wait even though you're ready. Maybe he will come around a little early?

For us, DH never really said he wanted to wait a certain amount of time, but he didn't call for test results right away or to make his next uro appt (which seem to have an 8 week lead time). I think it is his way of dealing with it. (Not that we have to like that!)

Hang in there ((hugs))

2006july15bride · July 2009

gidge:

I'm sorry he wants to wait even though you're ready. Maybe he will come around a little early?

For us, DH never really said he wanted to wait a certain amount of time, but he didn't call for test results right away or to make his next uro appt (which seem to have an 8 week lead time). I think it is his way of dealing with it. (Not that we have to like that!)

Hang in there ((hugs))

I paged you the other day. I got your response to my vent post and wanted to reach out. I wish things were different for us. This has been a hard week for the IF stricken on GP. Seems like lots of long timers got KU. Happy for them all but the voice "Why not me" in my head won't be quiet!

k827 · July 2009

Im sorry you H wants to wait. I have at times wanted to wait myself..but my H really wanted me to do another cycle so we are on our third...the agreement was that if this didnt work we would be taking a long break. I just need it (the break). Its a really emotional process and its something that I think makes it easier if you are both ready and willing....i hope he comes around soon!! GL!

2006july15bride · July 2009

k827:
Im sorry you H wants to wait. I have at times wanted to wait myself..but my H really wanted me to do another cycle so we are on our third...the agreement was that if this didnt work we would be taking a long break. I just need it (the break). Its a really emotional process and its something that I think makes it easier if you are both ready and willing....i hope he comes around soon!! GL!

I wish you all the luck in the world on this new cycle!

Dragonfly1226 · July 2009

I know the waiting is difficult. I do think it's important for you both to be ready to go ahead with treatments. On the other hand, one year seems like a really long time to wait. Has your dh told you why he wants to wait another year?

2006july15bride · July 2009

Dragonfly1226:
I know the waiting is difficult. I do think it's important for you both to be ready to go ahead with treatments. On the other hand, one year seems like a really long time to wait. Has your dh told you why he wants to wait another year?

He just went through some medical stuff and lost his job again. I think he feels the responsibility is too much right now. Meanwhile he is 35 and I'm 33 so I feel like we can't afford to wait.

Dragonfly1226 · July 2009

2006july15bride:
Dragonfly1226:
I know the waiting is difficult. I do think it's important for you both to be ready to go ahead with treatments. On the other hand, one year seems like a really long time to wait. Has your dh told you why he wants to wait another year?
He just went through some medical stuff and lost his job again. I think he feels the responsibility is too much right now. Meanwhile he is 35 and I'm 33 so I feel like we can't afford to wait.

That is a lot to handle all at once. Maybe you can compromise on a shorter wait time. He might feel differently as time goes by. If he gets another job, that might make him feel better about starting treatments. I know the waiting is hard. (((hugs)))

gidge · July 2009

2006july15bride:
gidge:

I'm sorry he wants to wait even though you're ready. Maybe he will come around a little early?

For us, DH never really said he wanted to wait a certain amount of time, but he didn't call for test results right away or to make his next uro appt (which seem to have an 8 week lead time). I think it is his way of dealing with it. (Not that we have to like that!)

Hang in there ((hugs))

I paged you the other day. I got your response to my vent post and wanted to reach out. I wish things were different for us. This has been a hard week for the IF stricken on GP. Seems like lots of long timers got KU. Happy for them all but the voice "Why not me" in my head won't be quiet!

I'll try to find it when we get back from the weekend. I just have been able to go back over there. For a long time after the dx it just sucked to much to even read some of the post titles :-)

I understand where you're coming from - there are some days I really have to fight to get to the "happy for them" place. I'm pretty much a bitter b!tch.

MoFree · July 2009

My husband willingly had a SA and when it revealed poor results willingly underwent additional bloodwork. That's as far as we've gone. Our only chance to achieve a pregnancy is via IVF with ICSI and so far he is not amenable to it. We are currently in marital therapy to work through this issue since, if unresolved, has the potential to destriy our relationship. In my situation my husband realizes how important it is for me to have a family but just is not on the same page as far as when/how to start treatment. ''

Good luck to you and your DH. Do you think he's uncomfortable about having to "produce a sample' and what the results might be? Men are so much more sensitive and fragile than women in that regard.

bbakersgirl75 · July 2009

Your story and mine are quite similar. After trying for over 2 years on our own, and the past year with a male IF specialist and now an RE... the DH decicides he wants to wait until next May... WTF???????

I'm in the same boat, with everyone I know preggers, and they just keep popping up as the days go on. Again I say WTF??

It's hard, and I'm still REALLY UPSET! But hang in there, your not alone... and it's really "nice" to hear someone else have problems with their DH as well.

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