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Interesting Conversation with my teenager

MyColonyNJMyColonyNJ
in Adoption

When Lil J had his visit on Wednesday, we happened to see the boy that we did respite for over the weekend.  I guess Wednesday is visit day for him as well.

Lil J was thrilled to see him, it was cute.

Colin (my teenager) was able to meet Z for a little while on Sunday and thought he was really nice.

Well, yesterday, Colin and I were talking about Z, saying that it was nice to see him, that Colin liked him, bla bla bla.

Colin then asked why he could not stay with us.  I of course explained that it was not fair to put him in with Lil J.  Plus, if the new baby is a girl, it is not even allowed.

He then said, "...well, what is wrong with my room?  We could easily put bunks in there.  Besides, it is only a bedroom and I have the other room as well"

Colin basically has 2 rooms to himself.  Two of our bedrooms are "railroad" rooms - the ONLY way to get to Colin's room is to walk through this railroom room.  So, he has his bedroom.  And, then has a Hang-Out room that has his TV, game system, couch, etc.  It is like a living room.  FYI - we can not use this room as a bedroom according to the state.  It is a lack of privacy.  So, it is not like we could have put kids in that room.

I was kinda shocked.  We never considered using Colin's room.  Especially since our age range is 0-5.

I just thought the conversation was interesting.  We are not going to look into getting him moved.  Heck, I don't even know if it is possible.  But, I do know that Z has only been in care for about a month, so I would guess it might be possible if the current foster parents had issues with the placement.

We have a meeting with Lil J's case worker and with our family resource worker on Monday.  I will probably bring it up in conversation.  Maybe if his situation changes in the future, maybe they will keep us updated.

I don't even think Colin REALLY knows how he feels about it.  I personally think it is a big deal to share a room after 15 years of NOT sharing.  Especially now, since he is almost 15.  Ya know, the prime time for wanting privacy, etc.

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Re: Interesting Conversation with my teenager

  • pepomntpatpepomntpat member

    That's very generous of him! 

    Maybe you could try sharing for another respite, so that he can see what it really feels like since I know he was away this past weekend.

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  • ctbride08ctbride08 member
    Whether or not Z ever comes to stay with you, i think its great that you had that convo and Colin offered to share his room. It speaks volumes for his maturity, ability to self-sacrifice, and willingness to help others...no doubt all of which he learned from you ;)

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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    wow what a boy you raised!!!  So considerate!
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member
    I agree with the others--you clearly have done a wonderful job raising your son.  In your shoes, I think my eyes would have welled up with tears at the thought of the sacrifice he was so willing to make.
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  • lilmufishlilmufish member

    I agree, that maybe if you do respite care, and allow Colin to share his room for a weekend, or for a week, or whatnot, he might be able to see what it's like to share a room.  I do think it's great though, that he's able to feel comfortable enough to share his feelings about fostering. Many teens that age, do NOT share their feelings, and the fact that it's so positive, speaks very highly about the two of you as parents. 

    Mom, give yourself a big pat on the back, you're raising an awesome son. Great story, thank you for sharing!.

     

     

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  • GLynn2009GLynn2009
    Good job mom!!
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  • TTCgradstudTTCgradstud
    I have to agree that it sounds like you raised a very mature, thoughful and unselfish boy.  Well done, Mom!
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  • MyColonyNJMyColonyNJ
    OMG - now I am tearing up.  Thanks for all the kind words.  I do think my son is great :)
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  • foundmylazybumfoundmylazybum

    Well now, Colin sounds awesome! And very forward thinking with switching the rooms around! :D

    I agree with everyone else, it is?very special that he is so thoughtful and generous--and on board with sharing your/HIS house with others. That is just amazing.

    Great job! ?

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  • Mrs.BoomBoomMrs.BoomBoom
    You've raised a wonderful sharing caring kid!
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