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Thoughts or opinions on this?

3ltlones3ltlones member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
A good friend of mine, her grandma passed away yesterday.  She just called me with the details of the funeral.  It is at the funeral home where we had Zoe brought after we lost her.  We had to go there to fill out paper work to have her cremated and then go and pick up her little purple velvet bag. It is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life, I don't even like driving past there because I feel panicky and anxious.   I'm not sure that I can go there.  Maybe I'm wrong though, maybe I should just do it.  I don't know that I can tell her and that she will understand why I feel like I can't go.  What do you think, am I overreacting, should I just go and hope for the best?
DD(9)DD(5.5)DS(3)DS(born 2/1/11) July 2006, lost a baby at 8 weeks, natural miscarriage , May 2009 lost Zoe Eliana at 17 weeks no reason known, possible under developed organs. Lost two more babies in September 2009 at 7 wks 4 days. Had myomectomy surgery to remove a large fibroid in November 2009.
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Re: Thoughts or opinions on this?

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    KAG30KAG30
    While it would be good to offer her support, if you can't go she should defintely understand.  You can always offer her support via a card, or even a phone call. 
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    DavezWifeDavezWife member

    roles reversed, would you want your friend there for YOU?

    Personally, I say it's a challenge. Be there for her. I get what you're saying, though. Hard stuff.

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    Kel&JayKel&Jay
    Are they maybe having a small ceremony at the cemetery also?  If so, you could attend that instead.  Just a thought
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    LMichelleGLMichelleG member
    imageDavezWife:

    roles reversed, would you want your friend there for YOU?

    Personally, I say it's a challenge. Be there for her. I get what you're saying, though. Hard stuff.

    This

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    laurncui812.0laurncui812.0 member
    This is my silver lining on this situation: you won't be the only one upset and crying if you do go.
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    vkbaby09vkbaby09

    imagelaurncui812.0:
    This is my silver lining on this situation: you won't be the only one upset and crying if you do go.

    So true.  It will take a lot of strength to go, but it might also offer some comfort.  You can both be there for your friend and grieve your baby at the same time.  It's totally up to you though and I'm sure your friend would understand if you don't decide to go. 

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