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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
I never thought it would be this hard (so very long)
Yes, I know...I had a baby and I should have been prepared for sleepless nights but I never thought it would be like this. I can't do anything.
The pediatrician has diagnosed DS with reflux and he does.not.sleep. When he was 2 months old he was giving me at least one stretch of sleep that lasted about 4-6 hours and then he was up every 2 after that. I was tired then. Then he got his shots and then it all went downhill (I'm sure it was a coincidence). He started to only give me a 3 hour stretch, and then 2, and now he's up every hour and if he does sleep for an hour straight at night I'm happy. I miss my bed. I'm in it for about 2 hours tops each night and not consecutively. Since he's up about 10 times a night, I always fall asleep in the rocker with him. I know it's a bad habit but I can't help it.
When someone says "Sleep when the baby sleeps," I want to say "screw you." His daytime naps are short too! I have to rock him to sleep. Even after he is asleep, I have to hold him for 20+ more minutes until I can put him down. Sometimes as soon as I move towards the crib, he opens his eyes. When I finally put him in his crib, I have time for a quick shower/snack before he's up again.
I don't have time for anything. I can't hang out with my DH- which has caused some problems in our relationship. I can't watch TV, do housework, cook, exercise, etc. DS will not go to anyone else.
I feel like I've tried everything besides CIO. I've taken him to specialists, tried zantac, prevacid, elevating the mattress, sound machines, warm baths, drowsy but awake, swaddling, unswaddling...the list goes on and on. You name it, I've tried it. When I see posts on here about how your 4 month old is still waking up once or twice a night, I get depressed. I feel like I have done something wrong. He's ina vicious cycle of not sleeping.
Every doctor says something different and I don't know what to do. I called another pediatrician in the area today and the nurse told me I needed to just put him in his crib and let him cry for however long it takes. My pediatrician said not to do this. I would do it if I felt confident that he was healthy and wasn't uncomfortable. His weight is creeping up, but his precentile is dropping.
I love my baby more than anything in the world. I wish I didn't need to sleep because then life would be prefect. Like I said, I knew there would be sleepless nights, flame away if you want, but this is just much more difficult than I ever though.
Of course I have to go to bed now since he will be up in an hour. I just needed to vent.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: I never thought it would be this hard (so very long)
((hugs))
My DS is on Axid for his reflux. And now, b/c the Axid is losing it's gusto, is on Reglan along with it. Maybe ask your pedi about these meds? I noticed a difference in my LO almost immediately.
I'm so sorry. I don't really know any other advice to give but that I will say a prayer for you and your LO.
Jen I see you are still having a lot of trouble w/ your LO. I think you are right that you can't let him CIO until you know he is healthy. why don't you co-sleep? that is the only thing I can think of until you know that he is healthy enough for ferber or CIO. Tonight is actually our first night of CIO. My LO has only gotten worse too. He went down at 6:50pm and was up at 7:30 crying. He cried 23 minutes and went back to sleep. It is going to be a long week but I think this is what is best for him. GL
ETA: Why don't you and your DH take turns. you sleep on night w/ earphones and the next night your DH does the same. That way you can at least get some rest...
Photo/Family Blog
My DD was the exact same way. I know how you feel. Is your LO still in your room at night? When I moved DD to her own room, she stopped waking every hour. We also have a box fan in there for white noise, and room darkening curtains, and that helps her sleep. I also have a video monitor, which helps ME sleep.
You really are not alone. Things are easier for us now, but DD is still a difficult baby. Hang in there. Have you tried lying down with her during the day? I never napped when DD napped except when I layed down with her & nursed her & we both fell asleep.
I should have added that I am home alone at night and my family lives 4 hours away. My MIL will come over some mornings at 3am but DS often just cries with her and I have to get up anyway.
I am so sorry to hear you are going through this. I would tell you that "this too shall pass", but every time someone tells that to me I want to throat punch them!
I have a baby who is also very needy. If he's not sleeping or nursing, chances are he's screaming at the top of his longs...UNLESS he's being worn. DS loves to be worn in either a ring sling (we have a Sakura Bloom) or a wrap (like a moby or metrowrap). It works well for both of us, he cuddles in and stays close and I am able to hold him upright without my hands. The best part of all for me is that when he falls asleep in it, I am able to laydown too (while still wearing him). Often times, we both nap togehter in the afternoon this way- I just prop myself up with a few extra pillows so that we're not both completely flat.
Good luck!
A Pocket Full Of Dinosaurs
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Hugs, I really hope it gets better for you. I have no advice, but you are being a great mama just know that.?
Have you tried wearing him. ?When DS wont to to sleep in his crib and it's 3am I put him in the Moby. ?Sometimes it's takes me awhile to bounce him to sleep, but it almost always works. ?Another trick is walking up and down the stairs with him in the wrap. ?It seems to knock him out. ?(Picture me walking up and down my stairs 50 times at 4am). ?Once he's asleep...I lay on my back in the recliner or on the couch and try to sleep as well.
It's worth a try.?
Where is your husband?! Seriously Jen you are so strong and i can't believe you have remained so strong throughout this but he needs to help. Even if it's taking shifts each night sleeping. Does he help at all?!!!!
I feel so sorry for you love. I know you have been through hell and back. I wish there was something I could do...I know you are at your wits end and just so frustrated.
I am sorry too :-( I can relate in a way because DD is SOOOO fussy. She sleeps okay for now (knock on wood) but if she is so fussy and needy.
I wanted to add that you might need to give your DH a chance. I used to think I had to do it all too because I was better at soothing DD. I realized that DH was perfectly capable of doing it too and I needed to show him and give him the opportunity. I do not doubt that your DS prefers you over your DH because you have always been there, but you would be surprised if you gave DH a shot. It may take some time for him to be as effective, but it is so worth it!
Or you could try wearing him and bouncing on an exercise ball. I've heard this works very well!
You poor thing!?
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I know it might be hard to believe, but my DS is the exact same way. i'm THRILLED to get 3-4 hour stretches at night. He has reflux and all of the same problems. He wakes up every 30 minutes and needs to be put back to sleep, which sometimes takes an hour or two.
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The ONLY thing that works for us is co-sleeping, with one of us cradling him in an arm. Have you tried that? We didn't want to co-sleep, but we had to do what worked so that we could ALL get some rest.
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I'm so so sorry. If you want, I can PM you my # and feel free to text me ANY time, day or night if you need to vent or comisserate!
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*hug*?
I feel your pain...my son was "sleeping" the same way. DH and I tried everything as well and it was really wearing us down. This may be a long shot, but do you have a HEPA filter that you could put in his room?
I ask becasue few weeks ago I went away with DS to visit my parents. The first night there he slept 7.5 hours straight! That night was followed by almost two weeks of wonderful nights. When we returned home he was back into his old routine within a few days. I was discussing the situation with a friend and she mentioned that she had alergies and always slept better when she had the filter....so I tried it. It has been four days so far and each night has gotten better. I don;t know if it is the filter but I will take it! SOunds like you could use any ideas you can get too! Good luck!
(sorry for the long reply
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I have been there!! Oh have I been there! DS is over a year now, but from 3 months on, his sleep was just like you explain. They thought reflux, but meds did nothing, so we ruled that out. He would only give us an hour at a time, and it was soooo hard. I know the feeling of not being able to do ANYTHING! clean, anything! no napping when he naps, I get it, and it is soooooo not a fun place to be.?
We reached a point where we allowed him to come to bed with us. It is something I never ever planned or wanted. It was out of shear desperation and exhaustion. ?It helped with the nighttime sleep (he would give us longer streches), but did not really help with the getting things done part, or with the relationship (DH) part.?
The only thing that worked for us was Ferber at 11 months. Although I really wish I would have done it sooner. Not 3 months, though:( that is too young. ?But, in a few months, I would give it a try. ?It taught him how to fall asleep and stay asleep. Within 2 nights he was sleeping the majorit of the night, and only needing quick visits from me to go back to sleep, and now he sleeps all night(finally). ?And now I am able to clean my house, see my husband, have some down time, and be happy.
All said and done- I don't think it was ever a medical issue (although there was a long time when I did), and I truly believe it was a sleep association issue (which is discussed at length in Ferber's book). ?He associated sleep with me. ?It is normal for babies to wake up through out the night, but they have to learn how to put themselves back to sleep or they rely on you. When they wake up, and they are no longer in your arms, they don't know what else to do but cry for you to come back to them. Once we broke the sleep association (unfortunatley some rough nights of crying) it made all the difference in the world- which reassured me it was never a medical issue for us.
I know how hard it is. But, I am a survivor, and you will be too!!?
Yes, that might be worth a try in your case. There are a couple of things they can do to check the babies alignment along an area of nerves that affect the digestive system. Supposedly some babies have alignment issues that can be easily adjusted (usually they are simply from their position in the womb or pressure during delivery). Here's a video about a more extreme case, but it might help...
https://www.myfoxtwincities.com/dpp/news/A_Simple_Answer_to_a_Medical_Mystery
I understand how you are feeling. You don't deserve any flames at all. I think you should do two things.
1.) Get some help, so that you can get some sleep and think clearly. If you are exhausted your no good for your baby or keeping up with your own health.
2) It could be something that is not yet determined. I took my baby to the doctor six times (pedi). Finally he laughed at me, and was like oh so she is "sick". It end up that she has two health issues. Keep pushing until you get your answer. You know best. I saved my child's life by being that, 'crazy' mother. They can't speak for themselves, don't leave him to cry. If I did,.. it would have been very bad.
Best of luck, I understand.