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Parenting
HOW do I get her to stop hitting?
Ugh, please help me! I don't know where my DD gets her aggression from. We are both pretty laid back, don't hit her, don't hit each other. Yet, my DD continues to wallop me when I say something she doesn't like.
Time out does not work. Tonight she slapped me across the face b/c she wanted to go to timeout b/c she wanted to see the TV from there and it was bathtime. For the first time, I quickly finished her bath, and put her to bed. She was screaming, very upset. She gets completely out of control, and I just don't know what to do with her.
Any suggestions for me? I am at the end of my rope. I am embarrassed when she hits me in public, feel like I don't know what to do with her.
DD1 12.18.06 DD2 9.18.08 DD3 EDD 5.10.2012
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Re: HOW do I get her to stop hitting?
I'm sorry! I don't have any real advice though. Here's my not at all good advice...
We use time outs for hitting. But it's pretty much the only thing we use time out for so it's a rare thing and she HATES it. For other, more minor things, like not listening we usually do consequences like no bedtime story if she's not listening when it's time to , pick up toys before bed, for example.
Another thing you could try is physically holding her arms down and making her stay like that after hitting? I feel like I read that somewhere, but I have no idea how it would play out.
Shockingly, telling Benjamin that "daddy will be really disappointed when I tell him that you hit mommy," usually does the trick.
He also gets sent to time-out, or my new thing, I make him go to his bedroom. He goes, and then tells me "I am happy and nice now, so I'll come downstairs" when he's worked out any aggression/issues.
I must have said that he can't come out until he's nice. HA.
G- is a spitfire, eh?
Yes, she is a real piece of work, that's for sure. F says she is too much like me
I will try holding her hands down after she hits. At least then she can't hit me again-ugh.
Co- do you worry about associating a negative connotation with the bedroom by using it as punishment? She goes to bed so easy, I don't want her to think of her room as a bad place, kwim? Am I overthinking it?
She's sounds like she's very upset! What's going on overall. Is there stress at home? Is she getting enough attention?
Is she sleeping enough?
For any kind of agression I ask DS to calm down in his room. If he's calm in 10 seconds then he can come out. It if takes 20 minutes then that's fine, too. I offer input ("a book? a hug?") but that really works here. Time out is just until he is calm and/or willing to work with me.
Nah. I don't. Mostly because I word/enforce it to be different than the time out. I have a bit of a temper myself, and I know that I often just need to remove myself from the stimulus, and cool the hell down.
He's the same way. I joke that it'd be impossible to own a house big enough to keep both of our tempers under one roof.
Anyhow, I just tell him he needs to go and cool off for a few minutes. I think he *gets* that he needs to remove himself, too, though.
AND, he's a few months older, too. We JUST started doing this, with good success, in the past couple of weeks.
She commands attention at all times. She sleeps between 12-15 hours per day still. The only thing that I can think of that triggers her is when she doesn't eat. But what am I supposed to do? Give her bologna sandwiches every single day, rather than every other day? That and hotdogs are about the only guaranteed things she will eat right now.
I will have to try her room. I was just worried about her not liking her room, and then not wanting to sleep.
Esposa and I hung out this afternoon, and we were discussing behavior vs. caloric intake; it's definitely a direct relationship.
Benjamin had a happy meal for dinner the last two nights, because he asked, wasn't eating anything else, and quite frankly, chicken nuggets are sadly, the bulk of his protein intake.
(waiting for the flames...hahaha!)
I don't know, but we have this SAME issue. Kate hits and pinches me, her dad, and her baby brother. She's also aggressive with the dog and I'm terrified the poor dog is going to snap at her. It is always when she wants to do something/have something and I've said no, or when she wants attention but I am busy (on the phone, nursing, etc). It's terrible and I hate it.
Time outs are a joke to her--she will slap the baby and then run to time out screaming "I hit Benny and I need to go to time out. Tiiiiiiiimmmmme oooooouuuut." UGH. We were making her stay in time out until she said she was sorry. Now, she smacks me and then gives me this fake little grin and says "Saw-wee." Um, no.
This is going to be unpopular, but the ONLY thing I have found to be effective is to speak very firmly to her in a slightly raised voice (not yelling out of control, but LOUD) and say "NO! That is NOT OKAY. You are making me really mad/sad when you hit me/Daddy/Ben/the dog." She HATES this and stops right away. She usually also cries, which makes me feel bad, but she needs to know that hitting is 100% unacceptable, and time out was not working.
no flames here. Christopher eats like *** because he is a freaking monster when he's hungry.
Pass the MOTY award my way when you're done!
I do this with Michelle alot and amazing it works....timeouts dont work for her. also she has no negative feeling about her bedroom at all.