High-Risk Pregnancy

How many times do I have to explain BR to the same ppl?

So frustrating.

I told SILs about my bedrest at my shower, that I was leaving work, that I would have to stay home until baby was born. Told them that I had special permission to attend my shower but then it was back to the couch.

That was Saturday.

So imagine my surprise when they BOTH email me about coming to our monthly famly dinner this weekend. I email them both back reminding them that I am on bed rest, telling them specifically what that means, can't leave the house, only getting up to pee, shower, get easy snacks, and attend Dr's visits. I actually feel really sick when I "cheat" so I would pass for this month but my DH would still go without me.

A few hours later I get ANOTHER email from one SIL. "So are you coming to my son's first birthday party  on Aug 16 then?"

GRR! Its not a pick and chose type of situation. Of course I would love to go to my nephews first birthday party, but I'm not going to make myself sick over it. I am not CHOOSING to miss out on these famly events, but its necessary at this point. They're making me feel super guilty and a little pissed off.

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Re: How many times do I have to explain BR to the same ppl?

  • UGH!!!!  That is so frustrating.  I have been pretty lucky with people understanding, except for a few of my friends.  I have found that if I have company or too much noise/etc my bp goes up.  I don't know if it's because of the added stress or what.  I told my gf's this and they alllll get it except for 2 of them who do not.  They actually showed up here last week uninvited and said they knew it was selfish but they just missed me.  Well I miss them too but not enough to put my baby in jeopardy.  I just think if people haven't done it, they don't get it...blahhh
  • I totally get what your are saying... I have a big family and we do so much together and just the other day my sister was like, I do not really see the difference between sitting at home or sitting in a movie theater or restaurant?! Frustrating but ignorance is bliss I guess!

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  • I'm sorry they causing you stress.  It might get them "off your back" if you tell them that you will call your doctor to see if you can get "special permission."   Wait a day, then tell them that the doctor said no.  No need to actually call the doc, but he/she is probably willing to be the bad guy.

  • KadyraKadyra member

    I'm on modified BR and I'm allowed little outings.  They kick the crap out of me!  I always have to nap afterward and then I usually sleep late the next day or need another nap the next day.  Even if DH and I go to a movie or out to eat, it is exhausting.... Sitting away from home is not the same.  You can't just.... lounge and sprawl out the way you can at home and be relaxed.  People just don't get it.

    I took a nap yesterday after my morning outing and I am exhausted after the game last night.  I expect to feel better by saturday.  In time for my shower.  haha... Thank God for my prenatal massage on Sunday.  I think I am a glutton for punishment!!!!

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  • I can completely relate. ?People don't appreciate the fact that bed rest is prescribed because of a medical condition - and that the consequence of "cheating" means endangering your baby. ?Some people think that its just an excuse to stay home. ?I have a girl friend who wants me to "thank my lucky stars" that I am on bed rest, and that she "would give her right arm" to be on one. ?That really set me off because she has no clue what a hit bed rest is on your mental health - how depressing it is, and how it takes a toll on you and your husband and family. ?Not to mention all the physical issues BR causes: ?fatigue, weakening of muscle tone, risk of blood clots, bad balance, back pain, etc.

    I get your frustration and have some of those people who I avoid talking to now because they just get me upset, guilty or feel left out because I can't do the things they invite me to, or want me to do. ?I tell myself that I would rather spend that energy growing this little boy, instead of spending time trying to make other people try to understand what they can't possibly appreciate.?

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