Adoption
Adoption Reference Help???
One of my dear friends asked me to write a reference letter for the adoption they are working on.... The questions they want you to answer are regarding how they handle stress, their parenting skills, home's physical & emotional environment, and strengths & weaknesses of each applicant... I seriously don't know how to answer this because I hardly see her and her family (they live in Nevada). Any advice??
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Re: Adoption Reference Help???
If you don't know her well enough to answer the questions, you should let her know you're not comfortable so she can ask someone else.
Otherwise they're just looking for anecdotal information about your friend being well-adjusted and balanced in relation to stress, any interaction you know they've had with children (even if itw as years past) or with their own children, their home if you've visited and how her relationship is with her partner and any children, and then what you view as her strengths. If you don't think she has weaknesses, you don't have to define them. The letter should be heartfelt and honest, and again, if you're uncomfortable just let her know so she can ask someone else.
GL!
You say she is a dear friend but you cannot think of one instance that she handled a stressful situation? Have you been to her home? Do you like her, does she have positive attributes? Is she kind to kids, have you heard her speak about wanting a child?
Its not a job interview...they want you to help them learn about who she is as a real person...why should she get the chance to be a parent. Would you trust YOUR child with her? Distance is really irrelevant... one of my BFFs since grade school offered to write mine because she knows ME... who I am and how I would raise a child. Don't worry about how big her kitchen is..focus on why this woman/couple/family deserve the chance to raise a child.
It is hard to start these, but once you start thinking about how you can share the reasons why she is a dear friend to you...it will become easier.
You won't disappoint her. If you are comfortable doing it, think of times you've seen her in stressful situations and how she handled it. If you've only been to their house a few times, state that, but tell them what is was like when you were there (were they welcoming? Did you feel like hanging out longer?). I'm sure there are strengths about her that have kept you as friends for so long, and weaknesses that get on your nerves.
Good luck.