SAHM - how did you decide?

carmelbride05 · July 2009

to stay at home that is? Was it purely emotional/financial/lack of childcare/not happy with your work situation?

How long have you been one? And are you happy you made the decision or do you wish you could work part time again/full time?

Mama_v2.0 · July 2009

It was the plan before we even got married/had kids. We have sacrificed and planned so that it can be so.

Since I was 28 weeks w/ Z. I miss being more social with other adults....but I just need to make new friends in reality...so no don't miss it.

jsugrin · July 2009

It was a decision made before we even had kids. There are days I would love more than anything to go back to work If the right job came along I would go back to work and DH would stay home but it's important to use for one of us to be at home.

Prior to kids I thought I'd want to stay home until they went to kindergarten but now I think that Andrew could really benefit from daycare as he's getting older and if I see the same thing with Cooper as he gets older I am considering putting them both in daycare when Cooper is a little over a year and going back to work.

Celyn · July 2009

I consider myself more a SAHM than a part-time WAHM, but being a SAHM has always been my plan. Fortunately, DH was in agreement and we could afford to do it.

green*eyes · July 2009

I always planned to SAHM before I met DH. He was less enthused about the idea, and I also started wanting to work again after getting a master's degree and the job I had studied for.

I went back to work after 5 months and it wasn't working for me - mostly the pumping/feeding demands. Plus, my heart just wasn't in it anymore. Fortunately for us we could afford it and DH now totally supported me staying home. It was a tough decision but it was one of those things that was a heart/gut matter, rather than an intellectual decision.

In many ways working would be easier on me - I miss it, and it's much more "freeing" than being at home when even going to the bathroom is a challenge at times. But I feel like this is where I am supposed to be right now and would not have changed this last year. I may go back part-time, especially if I could get some at-home contract work. That would be a good balance for me as E becomes less needy, esp. with regards to feedings.

spicy-mustard · July 2009

I didn't want to have kids unless I could stay home, so the decision was made pretty easily for us. So I guess it would be purely emotional.

I've been home for almost three years now and I love it. I have no desire to go back to work. Although I do teach group exercise a few days a week (2-3 hours/week) but I'd be working out anyway, so I don't consider that 'working' by any means.

This could all change when #2 arrives!!! Wink

Elizabeth1017 · July 2009

I always knew that I wanted to be a SAHM, even before i met DH. I wanted to be there for them growing up, all their activities and to be very active in their schools.

I've been one for a little over 6 years and I LOVE it! If DH lets me I'll be a SAHM forever.....LOL

KellyMRocks · July 2009

SAHM was all i ever envisioned for myself since I was 13 years old. My DH knew this going into our relationship so that was always the goal. I never worked toward a career because I only wanted to be a mommy. With my skill set I would most likely not be able to get a job that was worth (money wise) putting kiddo in day care. Now I am a WAHM, which is the only way I would have taken a job. I work mostly part time. Once all of our children are in school I will expand/market in order to (hopefully) work more hours/make more money.

jimmysgirl22 · July 2009

This has always been the plan for us. We wanted a family above all else, and it was crucial that I stay home with our kids. At the point that we got pregnant, I was reaching a crossroads with my job - either I really needed to commit to it educationally, or be happy with where I was. I wasn't making enough to really contribute to the household after paying for daycare. That's not what we wanted for our child. I walked away from my job and haven't looked back. That's not to say this hasn't been difficult. I miss my job and the work environment I was in. It really could have been the start of an awesome career with that company, but I'm thankful for the experience and for the knowledge that I enjoy the accounting field and could go back to it when I'm ready to build a career. Being a sahm was a big shift socially for me. I needed to get out of my comfort zone and really start making friends and be more outgoing. Thankfully, being a mom, I feel so more comfortable in my own skin than ever before in my life, so I am able to get outside my head and get over my shyness. I feel so lucky to be able to be home with Kirsten. It's a sacrifice in the sense that we won't own a home anytime soon or be able to buy brand new cars, but those things aren't priorities for us. Do we have a roof over our heads? Yes. Do we have safe reliable cars? Yes. Are we in the neighborhood we'd like to be in? No, but that will come in time. In the meantime, I'll be raising my family with lots of love and an appreciation for what we do have.

roxy_jj · July 2009

Thanks for asking this and it's good to read the answers. The SAHM subject has really been on my mind lately. I'm back at work now, but I'm debating if working is the right decision.

eastbaygirl · July 2009

We both knew we wanted me to stay home before we had kids - both our moms were SAHMs when we were little, so it's what we know. While I love my career, I look at this as a really special, short time for Dane and I to have together. It was mostly an emotional decision, but financially we're able to do it. We've sacrificed some things and planned for a while to make it possible.

I am happy being a SAHM - it has required some adjusting of my attitude and expectations and some days it feels CRAZY hard. But it is where I want to be. Before I know it, he'll need more than I can give him and we'll need to put him in preschool. Hopefully in the next few months I can start working on some projects at home for an old boss of mine and get my feet wet again and learn how to be an independent contractor so I can bring in some $, have something for "me" and get Dane used to being away from me on a more regular basis.

hayleydeee · July 2009

It was everything you mentioned put together actually.

I didn't love my job, but I didn't hate it either... and I love being a SAHM. Plus with the cost of childcare and commuting I wouldn't have brought home much money anymore anyway.

I started to stay home about 2 months before DD was born. At first I'd planned to work up until the end, but it was just to hard being that pregnant and trying to control a classroom of 3rd graders. So far I haven't once wished that I could go back to work.

Once and a while I get jealous when DH tells me about going to lunch with his co-workers because it would be nice to be baby free for a few hours. But I find whenever I actually am I miss her terribly And can't wait to get home.

dblhappiness · July 2009

To be honest, I kept saying I'd be going back to work as soon as we had gotten into a groove with the boys. I tried going back at part-time when they were 5 months old and lasted until just before their birthday. I had depended on my sister for childcare and it was proving to be too much and I didn't want her to resent me or them. So, we decided it was best to stay home. I've been home with them since they were just about a year old...and I'm really starting to consider going back in a few months. I mostly feel guilty that I can't provide something to the family...and that DH is out of work that we can't stay this way forever. I do want to work again because I don't want to lose too much in my field. I already don't go back often enough.

That's~Mrs.Stephanie · July 2009

I was laid off from work about 2 weeks before I was supposed to go back to work, so the decision was made for me. I secretly wanted to be a SAHM, I was thankful to be laid off. I loved the job that I had.

I have been one for almost 7 months. I am counting each day I have at home watching my son grow a Blessing. I plan to go back to work part time down the road.

serendipityRox · July 2009

I am a part-time SAHM (I'm home with DD through the summer but work part time during the school year) and wish I could be a SAHM. That being said, I do enjoy being a valued employee in the working world. I feel like I was able to maintain a part of me that has nothing to do with having a baby and think that in the end it's been good for me.

Mrs.BoomBoom · July 2009

Since I'm tenured, my job is 110% secure now PLUS, I get awesome benefits AND a bigger paycheck, so, I don't think I'll ever have the luxury of staying home. I also don't think I'd like to be home all day. I'm not good with scheduling my own time. But we shall see how I'm feeling next year at this time.

qtqiqi · July 2009

I was laid off 1 month before I was due to return to work, I guess in a way the decision was made for me. I never really thought I would be a SAHM, but I am enjoying it very much and am glad that I got to be SAHM. I do plan to back to work early next year, we could really use the financial help in the near future, but SAHM has really made me re-evaluate going back to work full time/having a full time career, I would like to eventually move into part-time/ contract work/ flexible work schedule as soon as I can.

Angiesmommy · July 2009

I had every intention to go back to work. I didn't start looking at the SAH option until my former boss was asking about my return date. I figured, I would be working JUST to cover childcare. So the decision was made for me. I stayed home and it was the best thing that ever happened.

tiki_t · July 2009

This was the hardest decision of my life! And I just cut ties with work last week. All of this was fresh in my mind. It was a combination of the kids wanting more attention, being more mobile, wanting to do more and work wanting me to work 24/7. It was hard to choose but ultimately I couldn't do both. Keep in mind that I worked for the same company for 10 years and loved it there so it made it even harder to jump off of that moving train but I'm really glad that I did.

A contributing factor was having to babysit daycare because they weren't doing what they promised and the kids getting sick constantly from daycare (which will happen... there is no way to avoid that) and throwing off my well planned work schedule. It turned my world into chaos.

We met with a CPA who looked at our finances and told us how to pull of single income. I feel so much more sane and the kids are so much happier. If this is an option for you... DO IT!

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