3rd Trimester

etiquette on diaper changing

OK, so my SIL, whom I love, was visiting us with her kids, and changed her 2 yo's dirty diaper on our couch, with all of us in the living room. I think it is gross, but maybe family etiquette on public diaper changing is different. The offending diaper went into our garbage in our kitchen, ew. Thoughts?

Re: etiquette on diaper changing

  • I might be a little weirded out if she didn't put down a changing pad, but it doesn't bother me at all. It's family. *shrugs*
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  • if she used a blanket in between the couch and child, and if it was only urine, i wouldn't be so grossed out. to throw it out in the kitchen trash though, yeah, yuk!

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  • How is that weird? Do you have a changing table in your bathroom? Or should she had done it on the kitchen table or counter? Maybe next time offer to take the diaper from her and put it in the garage garbage if the kitchen one is too gross for you.
  • cedenscedens member
    yea my SIL did that with her son and i flipped shits on her (no pun intended lol) - but seriously- we JUST got new couches and she changes him on our couch (#2 and all)... so i told her that she can change him on floor or in bathroom... she took it fine- i just said...uhhhhh thats a brand new couch my dear and she got the hint....
  • I will take Henry to another room.  I don't think people need to watch me change his diaper.  If I'm at someones house I will just ask where they would like me to lay my changing pad down.
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  • Changing the baby on the couch doesn't bother me at all. A poop diaper in the kitchen trash could get stinky, but you could have just asked her to throw it away outside...
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  • So where do you expect her to change the baby? The floor? Or a bed? Did she use a changing pad? I don't think it's a big deal.
  • hopefully she had a blankie or a changing pad under baby's booty. As far as kitchen trash goes... yeah kind of gross. DH and I bought the diaper dispenser from target (kind of like doggy doo doo bags to take on walks) That way if we have to change a diaper somewhere in public we wont be leaving the stench of our baby's droppings for all to smell.
  • I would put down a blanket and change a pee diaper in front of everyone. Not if I thought it was poop, though.

    I also always ask where to throw it, but wouldn't think twice about someone throwing a diaper in my kitchen trash. Its the one that goes out the most frequently. 

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  • Our friends changed their daughter on our ottoman recently...but they put down a changing pad...didnt bother me..but I dont use the ottoman much :)
  • Yeah, i personally think that's kind of gross.
  • ivs112ivs112 member
    One of my friends was over at my place this weekend and she changed her 2 year old's diaper right on my carpet. A changing pad would have been nice, just in case, lol.
  • I always ask: "where would you like me to change/dispose of the diaper"  because everyone is different.  I wouldn't care if it was only family - but someone else in the family might.  It is always just good to ask :)
  • My SIL has had two kids in diapers and does in-home daycare. She puts all their diapers in the garbage can in the kitchen... then she empties the trash every night. Never smell anything and I thought it was perfectly normal...
  • She should have put something under him, but other than that I don't think it's a big deal.
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  • This totally seems to vary by region, and by family.  

    We would all probably do well to be respectful to ask out hostess what she would prefer when we're a guest somewhere (even with family).

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  • Trust me after your LO is here, it wont take long for you to just change them wherever, whenever. You can plan going to another room, but one day you'll catch yourself changing them in front of a room of people. trust me.
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  • imagehowa0155:
    I always ask: "where would you like me to change/dispose of the diaper"  because everyone is different.  I wouldn't care if it was only family - but someone else in the family might.  It is always just good to ask :)

     This is exactly what I did when DD was in diapers.  I would always ask the host, even if they had kids.  It's actually not healthy to change a poopy diaper on a public surface without a changing pad so that would bother me if someone did it on my furniture.  Also, poopy diapers STINK so unless the garbage was set to go out that night, I would prefer that someone throw it in the main can outside.  When in doubt, ask your host/hostess.

  • I usually use a changing pad on the floor at people's homes. Wet diapers do go in the nearest bin, poopy ones I take outside or ask them where they want them.
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  • I guess I agree that asking would have been nice, but in my mind, if you are in a home that doesn't already have children (and thus a diaper genie or similar measure) the kitchen trash would be the next best thing.  Since we are in an apartment we don't have a big garbage can and the kitchen trash gets emptied at least every other day, plus that's where DH puts the plastic bag when he cleans out the litter boxes so it just makes sense to me. 

    But still, asking would be nice.

  • imagethejenni:
    Trust me after your LO is here, it wont take long for you to just change them wherever, whenever. You can plan going to another room, but one day you'll catch yourself changing them in front of a room of people. trust me.

    Haha.  This!  And since we're on the subject...it makes me so mad when restaurants don't provide the changing table in the bathroom.  I have also been known to change my daughter in a booth if they don't have a changing table!  Obviously not if it is poop...or if there are a lot of people around...I do have *some* "klass".  LOL

  • If I were the parent, I would ask the homeowner where I can change the baby.
  • I change ds in front of close family all the time. Otherwise, I ask the hostess where she would prefer me to change him. I can't help with the trash issue though. Ds is a cloth diaper baby.
  • Maybe a good rule of thumb is :  don't change the diaper in front of anyone who wouldn't change the diaper themselves.  

    So, best friends, sisters, family, probably fine.  Odd uncles, male friends who are squeamish about kids, random cousins you haven't seen in 10 years: pass.

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  • My sister does this too, and it drives me crazy! Even with a blanket or change pad on the furniture, I don't like that she changes them with a room full of people, go somewhere a little more private!

    The diaper in the kitchen is gross too, put it outside! But better than when my sister leaves it sitting on the coffee table and I have to remove it for her!

     

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  • I would definitely not want a dirty diaper in my kitchen trash. 
  • I think its rude and uncomfortable when people change their kids' diapers right in the middle of a room full of people.  I fully intend to go to the bathroom or bedroom to change my baby's diapers.

     

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  • That is gross.  She should have asked you where a good place to change the diaper would be and if the trash was OK or wto be directed to the outside trash.  I have 50 kids to the beach with their parents for a day every summer and never has anyone ever changed a diaper on my couch!

  • I don't care where anyone changes their baby in my house.  I do children's photo shoots out of the home and they can change their baby on the couch.  Much more comfy for baby than the floor!  I would never have cared, but I think things like this change once you have a child.  I bet you'll be changing your own baby on your couches at some point.

    However, if I am at someone's house, I always ask where they want me to change my child.  Some will say it doesn't matter, others will suggest a guest bedroom or the floor.  I wouldn't just do it on anyone else's couch unless I was at my mom's house or my sister's house, as they wouldn't care.  Besides, it's not like you smear poop all over while changing a baby. 

  • Even close family ask me where it is ok to change their kids. I dont mind when they change the kids in front of me ( I will change their diapers too) but I would ask 1st where it is ok to change a diaper. It was like that even when I was a nanny I would ask where to change the baby if I was at someone elses house. It is just the nice thing to do. My sister I feel is really comfortable with us but they will go outside to throw away a diaper. I asked her if she did that everywhere and she said yes because she wouldnt want to smell it why would someone else want to? I know people say oh it will be different when you have kids but I dont think so.
  • That is seriously my biggest pet peeve!  My SIL does it all the time.  On the couch, on the floor, wherever.  Over Christmas, BIL even left the dirty diaper and clothes right there on the floor.

    I'm sorry, I know I am going to be changing a billion diapers, but I think is a private thing.  I will take my child to a different room from everyone else.  If someone wants to come along, that's one thing.  But the entire family doesn't need to watch!

  • It wouldn't bother me as long as there was a blanket or something under the baby to make sure no poo got on my couch.  Seems wierd to be upset or offended by it. Throwing it out in the kitchen without putting it in an additional bag would gross me out though, only bc of the smell, not because there is a diaper in my garbage.
  • I wouldn't change a diaper on someone's furniture without laying down a pad or a towel or something.
  • afgafg member
    If she used a changing pad or blanket under the baby I don't think it's that big of a deal.  And what other trash should she have put the diaper in?!  You could have offered her a ziploc bag or somethign to put it in first if it bothered you so much.  Or better yet - speak up when it happens!!!
  • #1 it is SO nasty to do that on someone's couch, and rude. Normally it's proper to ask the first time you do that at someone's house. My friend emily has twin boys and she knows we don't have a changing pad, and so she pulls out her portable/purse one and just changes her son on our floor which I am totally cool with. She ALWAYS asks before tossing it in our trash which I always say "go ahead!" too except today because the cleaning lady was over at the same time and had just taken it out and it had no liner. I would have gotten her a liner though but she said it was fine she would just pop it in her dirty bag. Normally though she just pops it in our trash and I don't care at all.

    It's polite to simply ask, i mean that is really gross, what if he/she pee'd while being changed and it got on the couch? Thats super gross, IMHO.

    I always ask before changing, and do it on the floor on our changing pad.?

  • LOL, great responses. Yep, there was no change pad. At least it was number one. I just looked away and tried not to think about it. But I agree, that when visiting even family that you should probably take baby to a private bedroom, use a change pad, and take the dirty diapy to the outside trash.
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