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South Florida Babies
Vent/? - Mommies with 2?
It will probably not come to much of a surprise that my inlaws pissmeeoff on a regular basis. Not all the time but still pretty regularly. Lately, tho, my SIL is taking the cake. She just had her 3rd child 3 weeks ago. Her first two are girls...and now they finally have their boy.
She keeps saying things to me like, "You need a boy." "The love and connection with your boy is so different than with your girls." "I hope you get a boy next so that you can see how different and wonderful it is."
Things like that. Very specifically implying that its better with a boy. Everytime she says it, I cringe. Dude, please...I love my girl with all my heart and enjoy every moment with her. I have no doubt that I will love my next child - boy or girl - but don't even presume that I am going to love a boy more than I love my daughter. Her poor girls! She always whispers this and never lets them hear - but still. She thinks it and says it out loud. The fact that she does not want her girls to hear is proof positive that she knows what she is feeling would hurt their feelings.
Anyway, finally, I snapped a little bit and said to her, "How different could it possibly be right now? He is a newborn, 2 weeks old, and the only difference I can note is the wee-wee and blue clothes." I also told her that I don't plan on playing favorites. All pretty polite. I feel myself getting to the point of snapping, though, since she says something every time we get together.
Thoughts?! Has anyone dealt with this? Mom's with 2 - please explain the love from your POV!
OX,
Mel
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Re: Vent/? - Mommies with 2?
YES! As YOU know, I have an evil SIL as well who loves to make catty comments to everyone in her sight.
Well if anyone understand you its me because I only have one sister who has 2 boys, my husband has two older brothers (no sisters), my hubby has 2 sons, his oldest brother has 2 sons and his middle brother has 1 son. Suffice it to say that whenever anyone is pregnant its contant "OH maybe this is the girl we always wanted" Uhhh NO, maybe this is the healthy child I always wanted. WTF!
Trust me, no one understands you better then me!! Next pregnancy will be the same, everyone wants a girl and makea me feel as if my boy is not as "special" well F*** em!! your SIL is an idiot and I feel as if she is she is probably also telling you that to belittle you and make you envious... ok maybe not, maybe she is not like my SIL but damn what other reason is there then to go on and on about your son?. and by the way, boys are more known to get into "trouble" so we'll see how she feels when he's 10!
Biatch! LOL
Seriously?!? How could she say that? If she feels like that then her girls will pick up on it and that's not nice!!!
I cannot imagine more of a connetion than I have and I want my second to be a girl. Not that it should matter b/c you love your kids that same (or at least you should)!
Obviously I have no experience but I can't believe her!
My Blog: SIREN.ORG!
i would NEVER do that to my children.
cesar has an aunt who was dying to have grandchildren....when we had mady she wanted a girl and no matter what she was out in the stores buying the kid girl clothes even if she didnt know the gender! when she found it was a boy she went in to deep depression. till this day we all see how she "has" to love the baby and not really show any love willingly to the child. its very sad. we always have said that no matter the gender we will ALWAYS love our child...we made our child for god sakes!
That's INSANE! As much as I would LOVE to have a boy the next go around, there's no way I would feel more love towards my boy than my girls. And yeah, going to have to totally agree with you...how the hell do you feel such a strong connection with a 3 week old?!?! Your SIL is a nut! Hopefully her poor girls never get wind of her obvious favorite of the family, so sad!
I'm a mom of 2 and of different genders. When we had Gaby we were super duper excited over the moon with her. When Alejandro came along we were even more excited b/c we knew we were finally complete.
Now loving Alejandro more than Gaby or vise versa is odd. I love them both just as much. My sister told me the same thing your SIL told you. She says it and very loud and clear- that she loves her boy more than her daughter. I of course have no hairs on my tongue and put her ass in place. I told her that i love both my kids equally and to never tell me that I will love Alejandro more than Gaby b/c that's stupid and a bunch of BULL. Then again this is the mom who sends her son away to another country with my mom for almost a month! (enough said)
I am also told that boys are closer with their mom than with their dad....in our house is a bite odd b/c Gaby is closer to me than she is with Mario. This may be b/c he works odd hours and she is always with me. But I know she loved her daddy just as much as she loves me.....now loving her brother is beyond words. She LOVES him to death. It's super amazing seeing the love they have for each other.
Alejandro even at 5 months loves being with Gaby...yeah he doesn't understand "sister", but he sure loves it when she sings and screams and no one else!
If I were you or any other bumpie...I would put whoever is the one saying these things in their place....but that's just me.
Your SIL is RIDICULOUS! How can she think/feel that way. I feel bad for her girls - b/c it will be very difficult to hide that. Kids pick up on that kind of stuff. So sad...but don't let her ignorance get to you. I like how you put it, what do you really have to compare it to? He's a newborn?! I have a boy and a girl and love them both equally. So far, I don't really see any difference between the two. They are both beautiful, funny, healthy children, so innocent, and love us unconditionally. What more can you ask for? She's a hater!
I have been saying this for years! Its always been like this.
"You know you are not going to have fun on your wedding day."
"Just wait until you are pregnant."
"Just wait until you have a baby to wake up for in the middle of the night."
Etc, etc, etc. Well....now I have a toddler who is beautiful, smart, eats well and is well behaved for her age group. She can bite me.
Wow...how can she even say that. I felt the same as Lauren while I was pregnant with Sofia. I even told my mom that I was concern about my feelings since the love I feel for Diego is so immense and even though I was happy, over the moon and?extremely?happy about having a baby girl, I couldn't feel the same (at that moment). Its hard and too long to explain the feelings between your first pregnancy, and the second but you?definitely?you love them the same.
Let me tell you that the?moment?you hear your second child crying for the first time, the moment you lay your eyes on she/he you feel this amazing love and soon you connect as you could never imagine it.