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(non clicky) poll: how much does DH do around the house?
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Jenni got me thinking (about the whole countertop not being clean thing) about how lucky I am that DH does about 50% of the housework. I cook, he does the dishes, he helps with laundry, he cleans bathrooms about 50% of the time, he's the floor guy (sweeps and swiffers every night), and likes to do the grocery shopping as long as I have a detailed list, plus all the other "man" things like washes the cars, cuts the grass, changes the oil, that good stuff. Where one leaves off, the other picks up. That's just always been how we are. I guess it's part of his upbringing b/c his mom has always been lazy, so his dad did everything.....cook, clean, take care of the kids, and work.
Anyway, it just shocks me sometimes to hear that their DH"s do nothing. So how much does your DH do? Do you wish he did more/less? Just curious.
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Re: (non clicky) poll: how much does DH do around the house?
DH does a lot, and he has a VERY labor intensive job, but given the circumstances, I wish he'd do more. It would help me not feel the need to do things that I really have no business doing right now
I feel bad thinking that, because of how hard he works, but he knew this would be the case when we wanted to TTC. I try not to do too much, but then things are let go and I can't stand it
So I end up doing more than I should :
*hmph*
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Grr. Nothing.
He mows, but only when it's a jungle and I nag him. He takes out the trash once a week, when I ask him to. He sometimes puts his clothes away (that I have washed and folded), but usually just gets dressed from the pile.
We actually had an 'argument' about this Sunday night, I ended up crying. He works long shifts and sometimes they are overnights, but he has three days off each week. He also works out at least once a day (he is a pro MMA fighter), so he is not home often. I work part-time, and of course a full-time mom.
Monday he did a great job getting all the yardwork done, but usually his motivation dwindles within a few days of these arguments.
I am very very lucky in that DH loves to clean, especially vacuum. He loves to vaccum!! Let's see during the week, he does the dishes and cleans the kitchen while I nurse Ethan before bed. He also cleans up the toys. On weekends, he cleans the whole house, bathrooms, kitchen, carpets, etc. And he gets into these cleaning modes where he will just clean everything and I just move myself out of his way so he can do so
The only things he doesn't do are laundry (but I'm weird about it and have to do it) and cooking (but I love doing that too). Like I said, I'm very lucky and he is not the norm at all!
ETA: Just to give some context, DH works very long days - he's gone 12-13 hours between working and commuting.
We are exactly like you. DH works at UPS from 3qm-8am as a package handler which is really bad on his back. And then he owns a landscaping business where he works his rear off cutting about 85 yards in three days and then two days of landscape jobs with only his one other brother working with him. Ughhh....
So then when I'm pregnant, he doesn't want me doing anything, but he's working like all the time and he's exhausted when he gets home, yet he'll still want to carry up all the laundry, take out the trash, anything that he doesnt't think I should be doing, But I feel bad for not doing it when he works so hard so I just do it anyway. He gets soo mad at me, but oh well....
My cousin's DH doesn't change diapers, feed the babies, bathe them, or help put them to bed....AT ALL! She made me realize how lucky I am even if I gripe sometimes. DH cooks if I'm in night classes. One of us will unload the dishwasher and the other will load. I take care of DS during the day and he puts him to bed at night.
I actually like that I do more of the cleaning though bc he'll just play with DS so I can get things done. It probably comes out to 50/50.
He actually usually does quite a bit, but in the summer, most of his household work is outside. Like installing drains, ect.
I don't know why the fustration over a dirty counter (as in they were crumbs from the last sandwich he made), but I have a feeling the real reason for his fustrations will come out between now and the weekend.
DH on a regular bases does dishes, helps with all laundry (even cds), DS's bath and takes out the garbage. But we both do everything, that's just what he does without me having to ask.
He does more heavy lifting and I'm in charge of deep cleaning.
I'm lucky, overall. He is slow to change, but he's working quite hard at putting his money where his mouth is, and he's learning to listen when I tell him things need to change instead of futzing around and making excuses.
He does the laundry (gathering, washing, drying, folding, and then we each put our own stuff away and I put away towels and sheets). He's supposed to do the dishes, but I still wind up doing them about 70% of the time. He's the dog's primary caregiver, which takes a good amount of time as well.
We alternate on watering the gardens. We work together on any painting that gets done in large scale, but I handle the detail work.
I do the vast majority of bathroom cleaning, meal planning, 98% of our cooking, and about 80% of the post-meal cleanup including counters and putting away the dishes (the last part is on the list of things that are going to change real soon). Things that need leveling, hammering, or decorating fall into my camp as well.
When I move, my work load will double, and I'll still need to be finishing my dissertation. So we have on our calendar for Aug 3 a long discussion about laying out exactly who is doing what, when, how often, and how to make sure he knows to just freaking do it so that I don't have the added responsibility of keeping track of what needs to be done. I'm kind of hoping that our final method involves actual gold stars.
Mother's Day, 2011
He does mow the lawn, but that's pretty much it. His job is supposed to be to take out the garbage but I have to remind him like 5 times and then when he comes to bed I ask if he remembered and of course the answer is no.
It makes me mad sometimes that he thinks just because he had an outside of the home job, he didn't need to help with household chores. Now he isn't working and he still hasn't been helping out.
It makes me want to hire a maid. Actually, once he gets full time work (So we can afford it) I will hire a maid.
Sorry for the vent.