Clicky Poll: Sex drive after kids

MissyOlivePants · July 2009

So - I have absolutely NO sex drive what-so-ever (TMI - even when we're having sex). Seems I have extremely low testosterone. My midwife says that my BFing should not play a factor to have it lower than normal for someone my age - and at this late in the game. My FP is going to run another blood panel since it was 6mths ago.

So - I'm curious for all you moms out there - where you're at with this.

I'm still BFing DD at 14mos, and don't plan to stop anytime soon. Any of you that are BFing with a toddler....how's it going for you?

[Poll]

luvlieK · July 2009

I will say it was always there... I mean with reasonable allowances for birth and recovery/pain.

mandyclaire579 · July 2009

I wanted sex SO bad like, right after birth....ok, about a week later. I don't know what was going on, but I wanted it bad. We never did it because I tore and the OB said not to. But after it started to hurt after 6 weeks, I just gave up. And then when I started school again I just didn't want it. I'm still BF so I don't know if it will pick up again after I wean, but I hope so!

It makes me feel bad that DH wants to have sex and my mind is so far away from it. I will say that once I go along with it I always end up having fun....it just feels like I'm forcing myself to "get into it". Sucks.

Poonico · July 2009

luvlieK:
I will say it was always there... I mean with reasonable allowances for birth and recovery/pain.

This is me, with the addition of exhaustion It's not that I'm uninterested (when times are slow), but that there just aren't enough hours in the day sometimes

SapphyrEyes · July 2009

I'm willing to describe. Sex was incredibly painful until DS was a year old and I had a c/s. I have no idea why because we were still nursing full time even a couple months after the year mark. I had no drive during that time either because I remembered the pain. Once we got past the point of pain I got my drive back slowly. It was back full force a few months ago time just didn't allow for sex because of DS waking so much. And the funny thing is that we knew when we had to get together because we were both crabby and short with each other and even with DS. We were always better afterwards and tried our best to make a point to have sex and keep that part of our relationship healthy. And now that I'm pg I'm climbing walls without relief because DH isn't here.

luvlieK · July 2009

I guess this is another poll, but has dh's drive changed?

papagena · July 2009

Mine was back as long as I was getting enough rest. For me, it was sleep deprivation that killed my sex drive, not BFing.

MissyOlivePants · July 2009

luvlieK:
I guess this is another poll, but has dh's drive changed?

not one bit.

OneSimpleMom · July 2009

It has yet to return. I was just thinking about this today and feeling really guilty about it for some reason. I don't know why I feel guilty, but I do... I'm hoping that it comes back after bfing, but then I might be pregnant again by that point. Oh well :-/

luvlieK · July 2009

MissyOlivePants:
luvlieK:
I guess this is another poll, but has dh's drive changed?
not one bit.?

I think his has lessened ( ?

poor me?

Poonico · July 2009

MissyOlivePants:
luvlieK:
I guess this is another poll, but has dh's drive changed?
not one bit.

lol ditto!

SapphyrEyes · July 2009

luvlieK:
I guess this is another poll, but has dh's drive changed?

Nope. Still a sweet, loveable, affable dh that still has hornball tendencies.

TCsbride · July 2009

Honestly, I've never had much of a sex drive. I did when DH and I started dating, but what 16 year olds don't. But it was really only for s short time. I find DH incredibly sexy and I always have, but I don't feel like having sex with him. I have always had to "force" myself to get into it, but it's just never really been enjoyable to me. It's more of a thing I could do without, but I do it for DH's sake. Normally about threr times a week I try to aim for (gosh this sounds terrible, like doing laundry or something). I think for me it's a deeper issue. Even after al these years, I still feel guilty that I lost my virginity to some loser who told me he loved me and I'm DH's one and only.....

anyone a therapist.....I need one huh?

OneSimpleMom · July 2009

MissyOlivePants:
luvlieK:
I guess this is another poll, but has dh's drive changed?
not one bit.

+1

Temp76535187505890 · July 2009

I'm in the "havent gotten it back" camp and I'm so nervous for when DH comes home for his R&R soon. I know he'll be all about it since I can count on one hand the number of times we've had sex since DS was CONCEIVED!!! Yep, you read that right. Poor DH, I know.

DG1 · July 2009

DH's is the same. Mine is loooong gone. Of course, I'm pregnant again, and I don't know if that should help or hurt (2nd tri is supposed to be sexmester, right?)

A few weeks ago I really wanted it. Like REALLY wanted it and was so into it for the first time in AGES. I remarked about it several times, and DH was a little put out, but still, it was remarkable in that it was noteworthy. Being interested in sex shouldn't be noteworthy!

Halo79RN · July 2009

after dd #1, it was painful for MONTHS... no desire after a handful of painful times.. actually the first few times I couldn't stand it and we had to stop. no amt of lube helped. I had a 2nd degree tear with this delivery

after ds #2 , I was nervous and pleasantly surprised that it was enjoyable again. however sleep deprivation over the last 2 years has made it a less often event and sometimes still unpleasurable. better than after dd 1, but not as adventurous and energetic as prechildren.

CheriCO · July 2009

I put other. In my younger days, I was crazy. Then I dated an emotionally abusive guy, became really depressed, and sex became a messed up deal for me. Since then, I haven't had much of a drive. I don't think my drive really changed much during pg or after, but recently, I have started to feel better about my body (back to pre-pg size and body shape for the most part) and my drive seems to have increased a bit. And by a bit, I mean, I sorta kinda want it maybe once a week. I couldn't imagine shooting for 3x/wk! I have a huge battle in my head about this. I feel horrible about it, but I find it really difficult to force myself to do it (even though it's always wonderful).

I think DH's drive has stayed pretty consistent through our relationship. He still wants it all the time. ;-)

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