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Life Book: From the Birth Mom...

Mom's Getting MarriedMom's Getting Married
in Adoption

I have been collecting items for the Life Book that we will put together for our child. Our birth mom said she would like to contribute whatever we like for the book/memory box. At this point, she does not want to have any contact after birth, except for pictures and letters through the agency the first year. So, it is possible that what I collect now will be all I have to show our child throughout the years....and as an adult, when he/she comes to me with questions. I'm trying to think of what I can ask her to contribute for the Life Book for questions and talks down the road.

I'm definitely going to ask her to write a letter to the child. I think that is pretty standard. I'm also going to ask her to write maybe a page or two telling how the pregnancy has been so far (how she feels, the craving she had, etc). We are going to get pictures when we go down there in September.

Any other suggestions?

Thanks!

Erica

 

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Re: Life Book: From the Birth Mom...

  • jacksjerseygirljacksjerseygirl member

    My thoughts:

    - our birth mother said no contact except for pictures and letters through agency too but we kept the door open and now she and I email once a week ... so no matter what she says - IMO - leave the door open to her if you are comfortable doing so (we did this by creating a yahoo email address to give her that is only used by her),

    - although a letter from her sounds standard, it can be the most difficult thing for her to do ... even though our BM writes me about once a week and has shared information with me about her life and her family ... she has yet to feel confident and comfortable writing a letter directly to DS ... take this request with much consideration to her and don't pressure her,

    - I think family trees and ancestry will be important (where the family came from - or perhaps even migrated from if she knows)

    - pictures (of her - now and as a child if possible, of the BF if present, of any siblings, of grandparents, of aunts/uncles ... )

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  • jewele803jewele803

    I would try to get as many pics as you can!!  As PP mentioned, it would be neat to have pics of BM when she was young!  We have 3 pics of BM (one current, one a few years back and one at her kindergarden graduation), pics of BGM and other family members. 

    I also like the idea of getting her to list some of her favorite things...maybe this will help her get started thinking about things she would like to say to in a letter too!

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  • Temp206787500007404Temp206787500007404
    Letters, pictures, she gives us stats for the pregnancy portion of the regular baby book we're filling out, any favorite childhood memories, we've kept all of the cards she's given us, etc.
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  • 2bWednDec2bWednDec
    previous posts sound great!  I'd just add that I also agree on not pressuring a letter.  I'd just be careful on the wording...maybe say "if you are interested in writing a letter, I'd be happy to add it".  Leave it open ended so she isn't too uncomfortable/pressured.
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  • hersheykisshersheykiss
    As a BM, I also gave the adoptive parents a couple of gifts to give throughout her life. I bought a locket & had it engraved with "Because of Love" on it. I asked they give it to her on her 18th bday.
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  • Temp206787500007404Temp206787500007404

    imagehersheykiss:
    As a BM, I also gave the adoptive parents a couple of gifts to give throughout her life. I bought a locket & had it engraved with "Because of Love" on it. I asked they give it to her on her 18th bday.

    What a beautiful and amazing gift!!

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  • Mom's Getting MarriedMom's Getting Married

    Oh you all had tons of great suggestions! The pictures of her as a child is a great idea!!!

     

    I think I may come up with a little "page" or two for her with questions for her to fill out and that way she can just write in her answers.

    Thanks for all your suggestions and the insight on the letter.

    Erica

     

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