Who has been asked if they were "trying"

dawneo · July 2009

I work at a childcare centre and the parents are beginning to comment on my belly (I finally look pg instead of just bloated). One parent asked today if I was expecting and after I told her I was the next thing out of her mouth was "you were trying right?". I am 30 years old and married - I figured that most people just assumed I was trying. I answered that we were but thinking back I am not sure what I would have said had this been a surprise baby.

ellemoney:) · July 2009

Don't you hate that question! ?I don't really know what answer they want!?

Like, what would they do if you said.. well, actually we were just doing it and the condom broke. (or didn't use one, etc). Now we're going to have a little surprise. ?LOL. They would die! ?

EmmieB · July 2009

Oh yeah. Luckily most people know that we were starting infertility testing right as I got my BFP.

However - one of my friends (whom I thought was close and had she been paying attention at any one of the numerous lunches/dinners/happy hours we all went out to she would have know...) asked if this was planned. I rolled my eyes.

misschippers · July 2009

When one of my student's mom found out, the first thing she said was, "Congrats! That's such a good thing!" Then she got a look of panic on her face and said, "it is good, right?" Lol. Of course it is!

jenny1980 · July 2009

I've had several ask how long we were trying. Always an awkward convo.

IlovemyGeek · July 2009

I got one worse, when I told my Mom she asked if I was keeping it. I was like I'm almost 30 and I've been married for almost 4 years, uh YEAH I'm keeping it.

Alyssajoy87 · July 2009

Yes, when we first told people we were expecting, we were asked that quite a bit. I hated answering it because there's really no good way to say "no, it was a surprise."

Heather1979 · July 2009

My MIL yelled at us for not telling her we were trying. I turned to her and said, 'Are you really sure you wanted that piece of information?"

One of the few times she told me I was right. Smile

kensbride08 · July 2009

I get asked this all the time because we got pregnant so quickly after we were married. We actually werent really trying so I always say that it happened alot faster than we expected but we were just as happy.

woolgathered · July 2009

I hate that question! I'm 31 and have been married 6 years. Who cares???

tbirt24 · July 2009

While I'm 24 and only married for 1 year, I believe that this is a horrible question to ask! When people ask me I want to ask them if they are trying to be rude or if it just happened. Its none of ANYONES business if we were trying except for my husband and myself.

And if I said no, would it have an impact on how you feel about my baby? Seriously, some people are better off with their traps shut.

sadielove · July 2009

I was really surprised by how many people asked us this, too. I'm also 30, we've been married for over a year and were dating for 6 years before that! If we were going to have an oops-a-baby, it probably would have happened years ago!

RoRed5 · July 2009

I am more sick of this question than I can say. DS was a true honeymoon baby and DC#2 is the result of 1 night of laziness (at least in the BC dept).

Honestly, DH and I are adults and we are very aware of what the consequences of our actions are. Seriously, who cares? We're both happy and excited and can't wait. Isn't that what counts?

And, if it matters, I'm 28 and DH is almost 41, hardly tweens.

IDFarmer'sWife · July 2009

I was asked this a lot when we first told everyone. We have been married just over a year now so some people thought it was "too fast" but it isn't their life so I could care less. I get very annoyed when I am asked this.

adam+katie · July 2009

When I went to the dr. to confirm my pregnancy, my regular dr. was booked, so I had to see another dr. within the same practice. I have seen this other dr. before, so she kind of knows me. She knows that I am married.

Anyways, when I told her what I was there for, she asked me if she needed to tell me my options Indifferent

SymphonyGirl · July 2009

Yes, I get asked this all the time and this baby was a surprise. I have fertility problems, so we didn't think we needed to take precautions. We were planning to do fertility treatments again in the fall and - surprise - we're having a baby!

It doesn't really bother me when people ask, but I can see why it would be weird. It's basically asking about your sex life, which is an odd thing to do.

lv2bhapi · July 2009

I've gotten that question so many times and it's getting annoying! Seriously, why ask that question and why does it matter to them?! Granted, we WERE trying, but that's no one else's business.

beachykeen1723 · July 2009

Haha- we haven't been asked, but it is pretty obvious we weren't, since I have a year of school left. At the same time we are married adults- what does it really matter to anyone, anyways?

Carrot303 · July 2009

EVERYONE asks me this question but that's because I got pg (on purpose!) when DS was six months old. I kind of understand why people wonder if we actually did want our kids this close in age (we do)!

My friend told me when she got pg with her DD that as soon as people found out she wasn't married, they would ask if she knew who the father was. Uh - YES! She knew! I could not believe that!

axr8111 · July 2009

You would have probably lied and said you were trying if you did have a surprise baby. I'm not sure why people ask this very personal question, but my dad asked us. We have a 1.5 yr old, so I don't know if he thought that were early to try again. Weird.?

duchessII81 · July 2009

My boss did when I told him today.

When he told me that his wife was also expecting, I asked if it was planned.

Best. Day. Ever.

mrshutch · July 2009

I guess that question doesn't surprise me, but that's b/c I'm 30 and so many of our friends have little ones or are on the way to having them. So in our crowd, I think the question is sometimes asked b/c there are women out there having problems conceiving so they're just trying to get a sense of how long others have to try. Our DD was a surprise, but I felt so fortunate that we got pg so easily that I had no problem with saying that she a welcome surprise

alatchaw · July 2009

It always takes me a second to respond.... what do they want me to say? "Hell no we weren't trying! My husband is deploying which means he will miss the first year and I will raise a newborn alone! GREAT plan!" lol we could not be more excited about this baby and I am getting help from family and friends but this was certainly not the game-plan. I am such a planner that it serves me right to get a surprise Smile

RaeAnt · July 2009

Yep! When we announced it on FB, Dh's cousin...a women with several kids out of marriage, asked that as her comment...whether it was planned or an accident. Ummm... be together 13 years and married almost 5. What do you think? I thought it was a little odd and rude. And why post it on my FB page?!

aussiebaby · July 2009

By everyone! I'm 27 and married, we've been together 5 years!!! I so don't understand this question, how could it possibly be appropriate???

bandwife · July 2009

adam+katie:
When I went to the dr. to confirm my pregnancy, my regular dr. was booked, so I had to see another dr. within the same practice. I have seen this other dr. before, so she kind of knows me. She knows that I am married.

Anyways, when I told her what I was there for, she asked me if she needed to tell me my options

ahahahahha!!! This exact same thing happened to me!

My regular doc was out and the other doc in the practice saw me. If she had actually looked at my file she would have seen that we had been trying for a while and had just been referred to a fertility specialits.

ocho2002 · July 2009

I get this all the time. It doens't bother me, but I usually respond by telling them that the fact I made it to 35 without ever having been pregnant should answer their question. Obvioulsy I had mastered the use of birth control.