Working Moms

how would you respond?

Hi ladies,

My manager (once i work very closely with but do not actually report to) has expressed concerns about me being on top of my work and meeting deadlines etc what with me having to tend to my terminally ill MIL and the occasional sick days I take for my DD. I told her that my direct manager has not expressed a concern and I have taken work home when my DD has been sick. I also said that I'm always ahead of my deadlines and have things under control. I really should have mentioned all the extra time I have put in signing on earlier and working after hrs at home and on the weekend when its needed but I didnt as I was cuaght off guard.

Any suggestions on how I could better handle the situation?

Thanks!

Re: how would you respond?

  • Who is she expressing this to?  Did she give you specific examples?  Do you like your job?
  • First of all, are her concerns valid? Are you not meeting your deadlines lately? If that is the case, then I would talk to your direct manager, explain your limitations at this point and acknoledge that you have the shortcomings at this time due to family situations and offer some solutions: either work more from home to get work done or ask for some help on a temporary basis. My company is very supportive of employees' families, so they would be very understanding and helpful as long as it is not a "forever" thing. Of course, I would not be expected the greatest performance review that year, but I certainly would not be concerned about losing my job.

     Now, if her concerns are absolutely unwarranted, you should probably figure out where they are coming from. Does she have any specific examples? I would also talk to your direct manager to make sure you and him/her are on the same page.

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  • It sounds like you handled it pretty well.  I might ask if there have been any specific instances where this has been a problem (it sounds like there haven't been) because you have been putting in extra hours at home to make sure your issues don't affect your work.  It sounds like she may not be looking at your results, but only sees an empty desk when you are away. If you make her aware that you are working at home, it may dispel the notion that you are "getting away with working less."
  • Lurker, but I really felt compelled to respond.  Do not discuss this with her - if she is not your direct supervisor it is none of her business.  Next time I would respond "Suzy Boss has no problem with my work, so I'm sure that you don't need to concern yourself."

  • ai&Jasai&Jas member

    Thanks ladies! We report to the same boss and I have not missed any deadlines at all and have been ahead of most of them. She was concerned that I took extra time on this one project but the deadline is not coming up for another month. I work from home 2 days a week and last week was tough because I was working from home but told them I would be on and off line as my daughter was sick but then I had to call in sick as I had to urgently take my MIL into the hospital! My direct boss was on vacation but I knew that we would have meetings with her on Friday when she returned from vacation so i mentioned what had happened to her incase this manager brough it up and my direct boss was sympathetic and did not express any concerns at all to me; she would if it was an issue.

    Our company is very family friendly and I have unlimited sick days which I certainly don't take advantage of. Unfortunately this manager who said something to me is the type that comes in at 7am and stays until 6-7pm when everyone comes in at 9 and leaves at 5pm.

    It just makes me a bit sad because I am doing everything I can to not have my work suffer but I guess I will have to be more careful now! She did ask me why my DH wasnt helping out since it was his mother and I said that we both have been taking days off to balance everything! For the record my DD has only been sick 2 days this entire year!

  • ai&Jasai&Jas member

    imagesmiles4ya:
    Who is she expressing this to?  Did she give you specific examples?  Do you like your job?

    To my knowledge she is expressing this to me only but I can't be sure if she's mentioned it to my boss (see post above this).

    I actually do really like my job! There are days when it sucks but in general I'm happy with my career!

  • I find that dealing with people like that you have to really go out of your way to be nice about it because it deflects the purpose of their mentioning it to you.  If she does it again, say 'Please let me know what specific deadlines you are concerned with and we can meet to discuss how I plan to complete the work within the set timeframe' or 'Please let me know your specific concerns so that I can address them'.  Then just to ice the cake, send her a few emails early in the morning or when you are working from home at night or on the weekends just so she knows you are putting in the extra time.  You don't need to justify yourself to this person but it always helps to have people like that on your side and not against you. 
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