opinons please - 2 week old at outdoor wedding in Aug

b.heather · July 2009

My BFs wedding is Aug 15 - I'm obviously due any day now. Her wedding will be entirely outdoors and the avg temp for this time of year is 85-90 degrees. I'm concerned about the heat and bugs as well We will be exclusively BFing, and the wedding will be 40 minutes from our home, so if I go the baby will have to go to.

Am I overreacting? Do you think a 2-3 week old would be OK at a wedding in this situation? This is my first baby so I'm not sure what to expect. I'd of course love to be at her wedding (although she married her DH at a civil cermony before he joined the military in Feb, and I did attend that event) but don't want to put baby in a bad situation.

Thanks for any advice!

laurenshay · July 2009

I think in the 80s would be fine. Just be prepared to leave if it gets too hot. Maybe take a portable/battery operated fan to help with the heat and bugs.

pb08 · July 2009

I would not take a 2 week old to an outdoor wedding. I think it will be too much of a crowd for a baby that young. Also the heat would probably not be good. It just sounds like too much.

BEATOU · July 2009

I personally wouldn't want to do that at 2 weeks, and not necessarily due to the heat. If your LO gets upset, there may not be anywhere to subtly sneak off to calm them down like you could if it was at a church or other indoor facility. At two weeks old, they are pretty unpredictable.

jolis_petits_bijoux · July 2009

I went to my BIL's wedding at 2 weeks 2 days postpartum, and I wouldn't have gone to any weddings other than immediate family (or DH's immediate family). I was not feeling back to normal yet, but I was feeling a little better than the first week PP... though I did have a C/S. We brought the baby, and also my mom to babysit. I did not want baby exposed to all of those people at just 2 weeks old, so my mom watched LO at the room while DH and I attended the wedding. It was a major hassle, and I would not have considered it for anyone other than immediate family (or DH's immediate family).

Not to scare you, but karma got back at me for doing too much too soon - the wedding location had a lot of stairs to climb. After going up and down the stairs a few times to nurse LO, etc (the wedding location had a B&B upstairs which is where we stayed and where my mom stayed with LO while I went to the wedding), I ended up hemhorraging a LOT of blood and golf-ball sized clots, and had to sit on the toilet, then lay in bed with a diaper for a few hours while I bled heavily, missing half of the reception, on the phone with the on-call doc at my OB's office who almost sent me to the ER. It was very scary.

So, my advice to you is to either not go (and don't feel bad - I am sure your BF will understand), or, go if you can bring someone to watch the baby. You could get a hotel room if there isn't a quiet place at the wedding location, where you could go to nurse baby, etc, between the ceremony and reception. I would not consider going if I did not have someone (mom, MIL, etc) to watch baby and keep him/her away from the crowd). If I had mom or MIL or someone to watch baby, I might go if I was positive I felt up to it.

risysmama · July 2009

pb08:
I would not take a 2 week old to an outdoor wedding. I think it will be too much of a crowd for a baby that young. Also the heat would probably not be good. It just sounds like too much.

This. Depending on when the baby comes, you may also not be in any condition/mood to be around so many people.

jolis_petits_bijoux · July 2009

Also... I forgot to add that if you happen to go, let's say, a week overdue, which as we all know is definitely possible for a first baby, this wedding would be at 1 week postpartum. Everyone is different, but I was not feeling well enough to go anywhere (or ready to take LO anywhere) at one week PP, especially not a wedding. Taking baby to his checkup at 2 days after discharge (which was 5 days PP) seemed as difficult as climbing a mountain for me!

bitsy_b · July 2009

If you have a sling or wrap for the baby, your LO could probably sleep most of the wedding. I'd be hesitant on your behalf though -- at 2 weeks PP I was still pretty bedridden, mostly for the sake of letting my body heal completely before putting any stress on it. I couldn't imagine getting myself and baby dressed for a wedding, driving 40 minutes, and sitting through it, all while trying to figure out breastfeeding. I'd definitely advocate skipping the wedding if you can.

psuash7 · July 2009

If I was my MIL, I would say yes, and make sure you have a blanket on the baby to avoid the baby getting a "chill" from the breeze. But, since I am me, I will advise you that you fi you absolutly have to go then, dress baby in light clothing, and stay in shade (even if that means you need to watch wedding from the side). Keep checking baby's skin for claminess and leave early if needed. If possible, try to pump milk and get a syringe to finger feed and see if someone can watch LO for a couple hours while you attend the ceremony. As for bugs, there are nets you can get for the carrier, or you could get one of those clip-on fans and clip on something near the baby. However, if it was me, I would not even go especially if I went to the civil ceremony. People will understand. Also, if you (hopefully not) need to have a c-section, your doctor probably won't even allow you to go.

arkabee · July 2009

It's a tough call. I probably wouldn't have taken DS to an outdoor wedding at 2 weeks, and in the heat. I actually found his second week to be the most demanding and difficult of any stage so far. If you do decide to go, make sure you know where you can escape to quickly if your baby starts crying, because the chances of that at that age are pretty good. Also, you might want to bring a hat with a brim for baby, so that if you need to hold her you can keep the sun out of her face.

sachnique · July 2009

skip the wedding..you supported her at the civil ceremony. if she cant understand then she is not a real friend...honestly, at 2 weeks old thats too much for the both of u

peachypear · July 2009

There's no way that I would have been able to attend a wedding at 2 week pp. I was exhausted, moody, in pain from the birth (and couldn't sit comfortably on normal chairs), constantly feeding, and feeling very unsure of how to manage a newborn in public. And at 2 wks, DD hated car rides, so just a 15 minute trip was rough. Plus, with the heat and all the people, it probably won't be good for LO either. I'd plan on skipping (I wouldn't have been able to enjoy it anyway) and attend if you are up for it.

BTW, We just returned from a weeklong trip 12 hours from home, so DD is a really easy going baby and we're not overly protective. And right now, you don't know what LO's temperment will be or what your recovery will be like.

elf*jar · July 2009

It will really depend more on how you feel. I took my DS to a wedding 4 hours away from home at 9 days. We stayed in a hotel. I cleared it with my doc and DS's doc and everything went fine. I was tired, but he rode in his sling and slept 99% of the time at the wedding/reception.

b.heather · July 2009

Thank you all so much for your feedback! This is incredibly helpful and has actually brought up quite a few issues I hadn't even considered.

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opinons please - 2 week old at outdoor wedding in Aug

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