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Adoption
I wanted to share
a poem I wrote after talking to a new friend who had put her baby up for adoption two years ago...
I loved you too much to keep you
I know that it doesn't sound like it's making much sense
But I don't want you to think
...bad of me?
No it's so much more than that
I don't want you to think that you were not wanted
Not planned? yes, not wanted? never
My 7 lbs of beautiful olive skin boy I wanted you more than my next breath
But I loved you so much more
I loved you too much to keep you
My momma said to me that all a baby needs is a love
& so eight of us stayed in the 3 bedroom house with revolving "uncles" that came around and we had to shhhhh when they came over to "spend time"
if we didn't we'd have no water, no light, sometimes no food
We took turns sleeping on the bed, using the blankets and keeping an eye out for the roaches
I knew that you would need more than "love"
I loved you too much to keep you
So I made a call to people that I knew could help me
That I hoped could help me help you
It wasn't easy, the hardest thing I ever had to do was agreeing to let someone else love you
I loved you too much to keep you
So I hope that one day when they tell you and you in turn understand where you came from
That you do not resent me, dont hate me
Though I do understand why you may not want to talk to me
Know that I put your needs above my own
& let you go
To Receive love and more than love
Because love my son is all I had to offer
& I loved you too much to keep you.
***
People who know of our infertility & the adoption tell me all the time how strong we are, and yes we are strong but our strength pales in comparison to the woman who loves her child enough to let another woman be her mother.
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Re: I wanted to share
Very well put!! And a very touching and powerful poem girly!