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Doing respite for an 11 yr old boy this weekend

MyColonyNJMyColonyNJ
in Adoption

With foster care (in most states) there is an option called "respite".  It is basically a very short term placement for when the foster parents can not care for the child.

The reasons can be vacation (don't get me started on this one), sudden illness, planned surgery, etc.

We have gotten a couple of calls that we could not take.  But, we just got a call for a weekend respite for an 11 yr old boy.  Well, it turns out, Colin is away until Sunday, so this kid can stay in Colin's room. 

The only thing we had to do this weekend was a "very casual BBQ wedding celebration"  It is a bbq in a park.  We had RSVPed with 2 kids anyway, so it is not like adding people to the list.  Plus, it is not like a catered event or anything.

So, we will have an 11 yr old in the house this weekend - he is not coming until late on Friday and leaving early Sunday, so really it is just Sat.

Lucky for us, we have stuff for an 11 yr old boy - Colin has board games, video games, etc.

Should be a good weekend

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Re: Doing respite for an 11 yr old boy this weekend

  • Temp206787500007404Temp206787500007404

    That's exciting, I hope it goes well!

    come*on*baby has done lots of respite for other foster parents in her area, so you might want to connect with her if you have any problems!

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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member
    Sounds like it could be fun! Let us know how it goes.
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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    imageMyColonyNJ:

    The reasons can be vacation (don't get me started on this one), sudden illness, planned surgery, etc.

    I'm curious about this statement.  I'm assuming it irritates you that they don't take the child?

    Have fun!  Should be interesting!

    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers image
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  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member
    Good luck, and enjoy the weekend!  Let us know how he enjoys your company and the wedding, too!
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  • MyColonyNJMyColonyNJ
    imageMayDayGirl:
    imageMyColonyNJ:

    The reasons can be vacation (don't get me started on this one), sudden illness, planned surgery, etc.

    I'm curious about this statement.  I'm assuming it irritates you that they don't take the child?

    Have fun!  Should be interesting!

    No - it is not just that.  I totally understand that there are times where bringing a child on vacation is just not possible. Vacations can be planned far in advance - way before a child is placed.

    In our state, you can not take a child out of state without the permission from the bio parents.  So, if a trip is planned before placement and then you can't get permission, I totally get this.

    I personally would not plan a trip that I could not bring Lil J with us. 

    The thing that bothers me the most is the fact that we do get calls about vacation respite all the time, but the calls do not come until about 2 days before it is needed.  Now, i do not not know if it is the FP that are calling so late, or if it is the caseworkers that wait until last minute.

    But, the way I look at it is, if it is for a vacation, then you had advance warning.  2 Days notice is never a good thing.  In the past we have had to say no, mainly because the notice was just too short.  Even though the notice is too short on this one as well, it just worked out.

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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    Oh I totally get that!! How weird!
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers image
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  • Jennifer WebbJennifer Webb

    I am also from NJ and, oddly, have not gotten any calls for respite - although I am familiar with that process. My husband fostered before we met, so we have had our share of experience with DYFS and the fostering system.

     What bothers me about respite - and those foster parents who are going on vacation - often bring their biological children on the trips with them and choose to leave the fosters at home. How awful!

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  • MyColonyNJMyColonyNJ
    imagejluyber:
     

     What bothers me about respite - and those foster parents who are going on vacation - often bring their biological children on the trips with them and choose to leave the fosters at home. How awful!

    This bothers me A LOT!

    Nice to see someone else from NJ that is doing foster.  I am in Warren County, but Lil J is from Somerset County.

    Where are you from - would love to swap stories

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