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Weird shower situation- not my shower, someone else's- sort of a vent

wwsurf81wwsurf81 member
in 3rd Trimester
I volunteer at my church nursery.  It's a big church so there are a lot of volunteers.  Several of us are pregnant.  We have a church staff member who is in charge of us, keeping the nursery clean and stocked w/ supplies, etc.  One of the volunteers is expecting twins.  The nursery leader decided that she wanted to throw her a shower and invited about 75 people and is hosting it at the church.  Sounds great, except that lots of people have been or are pregnant, some of which struggling financially, and the church hasn't thrown showers for anyone else.  When I first heard about it, honestly, my feelings were a little hurt because I've been volunteering there over 3 years. But I'm over that part of it.  There are a lot of us expecting babies.  The part that kind of bugs me is that this nursery leader sent out 75ish invitations and then is now asking people she invited to help her host it by bringing in food, buying decorations, donating money, etc.  It just seems to me that she should have recruited a few "co-hosts" BEFORE she sent out all those invitations.  I've been getting a few emails from her sounding like she is frantically needing help.  When I got the first email asking for help, I wrote back right away and offered to bake a bunch of cupcakes.  That was probably 2-3 weeks ago.  It just seems like she's in over her head, and it seems a little in bad taste to ask invited guests to help host, on top of course of having them bring gifts for the mommy-to-be.  I love the person the shower is for and I'm so glad she's having twins, because I get the idea that since she is a little older, maybe she's been trying for a while.  Would anyone else feel a little uncomfortable being begged for help after being invtied to a very large shower??
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Re: Weird shower situation- not my shower, someone else's- sort of a vent

  • howa0155howa0155 member
    That is really tacky.  I wouldn't offer any further help than you already have - she created her mess she can deal with it.  Plus, she can still have a nice shower with cake and punch only (no need to spend $ or time on things other than the twins).  Maybe you could suggest this instead?? 
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  • cedenscedens member
    i find that incredibily rude- if no one else got showers in the past and tehre are others that are pregnant right now, that's really rude... i would not help out past of what you offered to do and possibly let her know you can help set up, but as far as financially just tell her that you cant afford it right now bc you're expecting yourself and need to spend money on YOUR baby... you have your own expenses to consider right now!
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  • topazwindtopazwind
    I agree with the pp. ?I think you should make it a dessert and punch party. ?It is a church function, not something her family is throwing her. ?Let the focus be on people bringing gifts for her twins and celebrating them. ?I am sure most people won't mind bring a dessert and then just put everything out and let people munch and mingle. ?If the woman disagrees with this idea then tell her you can't do anything more than what you have offered already. ?You are busy expecting your own bundle of joy.
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  • mediadivamediadiva member
    sounds like the planner is a bit clueless, I feel bad for the mom if she knows this is going on then I am sure she is?embarrassed.
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