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Ugh, just had my insides drop

hersheykisshersheykiss
in Adoption

I need to tell this to someone and this seems to be the best place to do it. I apologize in advance if I hurt, offend, or bring up bad feelings to anyone.

I had to call and update my alumni info for my HS. They are sending out books to alumni in 6 months or so. Well, they asked me work, school, and family info. They asked about spouse, I gave them DH's info and then they asked if I have any children. I said yes, and gave them E's name. She said any others, and I froze. I wanted to tell them K's name but she isn't legally mine. While I gave birth to her, I did place her for adoption. I am so mad at myself for freezing and not being able to give the person her info. I do not regret what I did, in fact I am very proud of what I did. Normally, when I talk about kids, I say that I have an 8 yr old and a newborn, but for something that is published and sent to thousands of classmates I don't want everyone to necessarily know that info. UUUGGGHHH! I know I am not expressing my hollow feeling very well, but I just had to say something.

Thanks for letting me say this.

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Re: Ugh, just had my insides drop

  • Temp206787500007404Temp206787500007404
    Oh man.  I probably would have frozen too!  (((HUGS)))
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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    I'm sorry.
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers image
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  • MayMMayM member
    I would have had no clue / would have been caught totally off guard. I'm sorry.
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  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member

    I, too, am sorry.

    Please don't ever feel as if you can't those types of feelings here.  We're here for you, and to learn from you, and if you can't share here, where can you?

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  • hersheykisshersheykiss
    Thanks ladies for your kind words and support. I appreciate everything and respect you for going through what you do and allow us BMs to voice our thoughts here too. After 8 years, I still seem to have a few bad moments & days, and this was one of them. It is so hard to know that I have 2 children, but nothing but pictures and memories of one when I know she out there.
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  • ked1068ked1068
    I'm so sorry.  I too would have froze!
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    3 IUI's, 2 IVF's , 1 FET , 1 IVF w/ Gestational Carrier, and 1 FET using adopted embryo's = ALL BFNs
    We are adopting!

    SAIF/PAIF IS ALWAYS WELCOMED TO POST IN MY POSTS!!!
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  • TTCgradstudTTCgradstud

    Don't be mad at yourself!  it is completely understandable that you want to be able to tell the world about both of your children even if the situation is different then the norm, but also want your privacy.  I think it's great that you include her in coversations about your children because she is yours! 

    ((HUGS))

    Please do share with us, I know personally, I like having the insight into what the BP we will be matched with may go through so I can do what I can to help. 

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  • Temp206787500007404Temp206787500007404

    imagehersheykiss:
    Thanks ladies for your kind words and support. I appreciate everything and respect you for going through what you do and allow us BMs to voice our thoughts here too. After 8 years, I still seem to have a few bad moments & days, and this was one of them. It is so hard to know that I have 2 children, but nothing but pictures and memories of one when I know she out there.

    This makes me so sad for you and is exactly what I want to avoid with Payton!  (((HUGS)))

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  • JewelzNBeanJewelzNBean member

    I go through the same thing quite often - especially after just being in the hospital giving birth to X with all the questions about previous pregnancies. Many people ask us if X is our first, and truthfully, he is OUR first (DH is not my other son's father), and he is the first child that I will get to be 'mommy' to.

    I am usually pretty open about the adoption, but sometimes it's very awkward to know how much to say.

    I am totally there with you!!!!

    Pregnancy Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker imageimage
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