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1st Trimester
Horrified a "mom to be" would behave this way
Saturday night FI wanted to go to his favorite bar n grill in our town. Being as I'm now his official designated driver for the next 6 1/2 months(and they have some kick ass food) I went with him. When we walked up outside I noticed a very visibly pregnant woman in maternity clothes smoking a cigarette. I didn't say anything but FI and I just looked at her. Then we proceeded to go in and one of my friends was bartending so we sat at the bar. She came in, finished her drink and ordered another one. She was only 3 seats from us so I heard her order a LONG ISLAND ICED TEA! WTF?! I thought for sure at that point she couldn't possibly be pg so I asked some of the regulars and they said yep she was and several people have said stuff to her about her behavior but she says that since the baby is already "grown" and she is due in a couple weeks that it wont affect the baby at all. I can't believe my friend was serving her either! I wanted to slap this woman right across her face. Am I wrong to be this angry?
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Re: Horrified a "mom to be" would behave this way
But, as for how you should feel about it. You should be angry, because her kid will likely take up your tax dollars in special needs classes once it starts school.
But, seriously, beyond shaking your head at her stupidity, life is to short to get angry about a strangers bad decisions.
in many cases, the only reason a bartender can refuse service is if the patron is already visibly inebriated.
I'm sure your friend didn't want to be serving her.
I think that's horrible! My friend had a woman in her employ a few years back who smoked like a chimney through her pregnancy. I'm not sure if the baby was adversely affected, but I remember being really taken aback when I saw her standing on the sidewalk with a huge 7 month belly puffing away on a cigarette.
Some people claim that because they are addicted that it's so hard for them to quit etc. But I have a friend who was a pack a day smoker and the day she found out she was preganant she quit cold turkey and didn't touch one through out her whole pregnancy.
I guess people will do what they want regardless
i don't know about where you are, but here they can't refuse to serve someone unless they are visibly over legal limit... whether or not they like it they HAVE to serve that 14 year old whatever she orders.... as for the rest I'd guess she never wanted the baby... if she did she wouldn't be so selfish...
Several women that I worked with smoked throughout their pregnancies. Just made me shake my head. One of the women who had an older son (like 7) would go to the bar every day and have one beer while pregnant. She claimed that she got the approval from her OB.
Its outrageous, but not shocking. Its called poverty and its very sad.
you're telling me "poverty" causes people to spend God knows how much on cigarettes and alcohol... that makes a TON of sense
My BIL's gf who is due any day has smoked the entire time. At our wedding in May it was really hard to watch her.
I don't understand people like this. It's sad.
I know people who are definitely not poor who drank and/or smoked while pg. Two of my friends did, on rare occasions, and while it's not something I would do, it's also not my place to judge what they do with their fetuses.
wow.... that is horrible!
i will say though - that one of DH's best friends from the marie corps was pregnant and i saw her out at a bar and smoking and when i called her on that she said that her doctor told her because she had been smoking like a chimney up until she found out..... that it would do more harm to the fetus to stop cold turkey and she just had to slow down..... don't know how true that was - but she ended up having a m/c
when she got pregnant the 2nd time.... she smoked too
Yes. People who live in poverty typically lack education and role models and make poor decisions like spending what little money they have on alcohol and cigarettes. Chances are she didn't plan on getting pregnant either.
that is still the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and very wrong of you to lump people that way... I grew up poor as hell and know more people who did that have their head on straight than people who were raised with parents and money... making accusations like that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard... it isn't whether you grew up poor or rich, both sides have the same capability of making their own sound decisions... it isn't because she's poor it's because she cares more about herself than her baby. Period...
I struggle with this.
Yes, I think it is wrong (absolutely wrong) for her to be smoking/drinking during her pg although I am not a militant non-smoker or a militant non-drinker (I think a half glass of wine is perfectlly acceptable in pg) but it sounds like she was putting her baby in danger with her alcohol/smoking.
But on the other hand, I think mothers (or soon to be mom's) are judged unfairly with an unrelenting critisicim that has become standard practice for anyone who is around them and that just isn't fair. I don't think being pg or having children gives others the right to judge so harshly.
So, I struggle with telling you that it is acceptable to be angry.
My baby is two!!! Baby girl 9/17/09
My other baby is still a baby! Baby Boy 11-30-11
Thanks for demonstrating that the poor haven't cornered the market on stupidity and ignorance!
My Mom smoked with me during her pregnancy... I guess back then it wasn't frowned upon. They even had smoking rooms in the hospitals. I now wonder if this has anything to do with the horrible allergies that I have! Thanks Mom!
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If it was me, I would have mumbled something under my breath but loud enough for the dumb b*tch to hear me. Just shake your head and keep walking.... unfortunately there's not much you can do about it
Do some research and then call me stupid. And BTW, poverty isn't poor or low income. Learn what the word poverty means before attacking me.
And to the OP, what were YOU, the perfect mom-to-be, doing in a bar that allows smoking anyway?
Poverty
looks like it means you're poor to me... maybe you should become more educated. Although, until now I never called you stupid... I said your accusation was stupid... and since you can't read the restaurant doesn't allow smoking, the OP said she was smoking outside.... nice try playing the one who was being unfairly attacked though...
Giggle.
I was reading the "you don't know what poverty means" response, and thinking..."no...I'm pretty sure that's what it means".