Husband uncomfortable with breastfeeding?

sam19 · July 2009

Somehow, me and H got on the topic of breastfeeding today. I always knew that he would be uncomfortable with the fact that I wanted to NIP but today I learned just how uncomfortable he was with breastfeeding. As we were talking, H said something about how I should expect for him to be uncomfortable for the first few weeks of breastfeeding.

He is not going to try and stop me from breastfeeding because he knows it is best and he knows it means a lot to me. He also admitted that it's his problem which he needs to get over but it was still a little shocking for me. Even in private and even with me feeding his own daughter, he is still uncomfortable with the idea of breastfeeding.

Anybody else have an H that is weary and uncomfortable with breastfeeding?

MrsZiz · July 2009

My DH isn't like this. He's more fascinated with the whole thing, the process of childbirth, parenting and breastfeeding. He thinks it's amazing what women's bodies are capable of.

That said, my friend breast feeds and her ENTIRE family is completely uncomfortable with it. They make comments like "how will he (the babY) feel once he gets older to know that he sucked on your boob" and other random things. She just ignores it and it moves on. Your H will probably get more comfortable with it as time passes, or at least I'm hoping. did you take a BFing class? It would be helpful to take him if you plan on taking one. Good luck!

mamaofliam · July 2009

Its good he is being honest with you. That helps. It is fine and normal for him to be feeling this way. If he hasn't any exposure to it, it would be unusual for a while. He will adjust though after a while and get used to it. For first DS, I did a BFing class but DH did not want to go. That would have made him feel really uncomfortable. Its fine. I went and learned.

faithhollett · July 2009

Do you know why he's uncomfortable with it?

Before I gave birth to my daughter, I was afraid that I would be uncomfortable with breast feeding. I don't really like to watch other people do it, but I don't mind if they're covered up. I think it might stem from the fact that my mom breast fed me until I was old enough to remember it. It's always kinda bothered me that I could remember it.

But, after I gave it a shot, my whole attitude changed. Like the flip of a switch. I still wouldn't breast feed a kid over their second birthday, but that's my preference. Maybe he'll feel much more comfortable with it once it's you and his kid- not strangers and not his own mother. It's possible.

amhough · July 2009

Yes! DH is all for me breastfeeding, but NIP is totally out of the question as far as he's concerned. I said that I wouldn't feel comfortable letting it all hang out, but if I was covered, or sitting quietly somewhere out of the way it wouldn't bother me. Even this is too much for him, but he'll get over it I think.

katJude · July 2009

My husband was uncomfortable with breastfeeding when we had our first. He had never really been around it and just assumed that I'd do it only in private and only for the first few weeks. He just didn't see the need when there were bottles, formula or breast pumps available.

I, however, planned to breastfeed as long as I felt it was working for me and my daughter. Ultimately, after really only 1-2 weeks and seeing how very natural and normal breastfeeding was, my husband really relaxed with the whole thing. I ended up breastfeeding exclusively until she was 6 months old - a lot of which was facilitated by my husband bringing the baby to me for late night feedings and doing other supportive tasks. I didn't actually wean her until she was about 18 months old. Now my husband is much more of a breastfeeding "pusher" than I am! He expects that we'll go at least to 24 months with this one!

Give your husband a chance and keep talking about his concerns and your goals. Like the pp said, I do think it is a good thing that he's talking about his concerns with you. You might want to encourage him to talk to your doctor or the pediatrician after the baby's born - it might help him to get a professional perspective.

CalinsBride · July 2009

To be honest, neither DH nor I were very excited about breastfeeding. I seriously considered EP, but when I researched it and realized how difficult it is, I decided to suck it up and try BF. I fully expected it to be one of those things that I hate, but that I do because I love my son, but it really hasn't been like that at all. I am surprisingly comfortable with it, and so is DH. My son is so cute when he BFs that I can't not enjoy it.And DH has been absolutely fantastic. It's like "we're" breastfeeding him (he said that last night actually), not just me. He brings me the boppy, he changes Moses first so that he is comfy before we start, then he checks DS's latch for me and makes sure that its okay and he'll hold DS's hand when he tries to put it in his mouth while feeding. It is night and day from how we expected to feel about it.

When its your own kid, its just not awkward. Maybe your DH will change his mind like we did and feel great about it once he sees how natural it is. He could surprise you--mine surprised the hell out of me!

Deanna J, · July 2009

Hmm, I must admit that to me seems a little strange. But everyone has their things. DH isnt keen on the idea of me breastfeeding just because he thinks im going to be in so much pain, be miserable when we go out cause ill just be leaking all over the place, and would just rather me not do it at all. He said is was a pain in the butt with his last wife and he really cant imagine me doing it too. =/ we will just have to see about that cause I havnt made up my mind if im going to breastfeed or not.

Jessica Pressley · July 2009

My husband is more concerned with what it will do to my breasts after I breast feed. I naturally have pretty large breasts and he just keeps saying "if u nurse they will get all saggy and hang down to your knees like those women in the national geographics in Africa." I have to remind him that first of all they have never worn bra's, and second of all if they do get to a point where I am uncomfortable with my look than I can have a reduction done. Men are idiots sometimes! I also think that men associate breasts with sex and to think about their child latched onto them seems wrong. It is great that he is honest with you and I think the more you talk to him about it the more used to it he will get. You could even talk to you dr. about it and see if s/he has any advice. I'm sure they have lots of husbands go through this and they may have some good ways to help your husband become more comfortable with it! Good luck:)

SusieQ1982 · July 2009

JessPressPhiMu:
My husband is more concerned with what it will do to my breasts after I breast feed. I naturally have pretty large breasts and he just keeps saying "if u nurse they will get all saggy and hang down to your knees like those women in the national geographics in Africa."

Tell him that nursing DOES NOT change your breasts from what they would be. Pregnancy causes all those changes, so whatever damage there will be is done already.

Jessica Pressley · July 2009

SusieQ1982:

JessPressPhiMu:
My husband is more concerned with what it will do to my breasts after I breast feed. I naturally have pretty large breasts and he just keeps saying "if u nurse they will get all saggy and hang down to your knees like those women in the national geographics in Africa."

Tell him that nursing DOES NOT change your breasts from what they would be. Pregnancy causes all those changes, so whatever damage there will be is done already.

Haha! Thanks I will! I think he is getting more comfortable with it the more we talk about it:)

Jessica Kovacs · July 2009

This is what our Boobs are really for!!! It's our society that has sexualized them. I'm sure that once you start breastfeeding that he will get over it and realized it's not that big of a deal.

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