TTC After a Loss

16 dpo FRER says.....

BF UGLY FREAKING NEGATIVE......Crying  I dont understand it.  My temp is still up I didnt sleep well last night - kept waking up tossing and turning and sweating like a pig!  And I woke up way early to temp.  I tried adjusting it, just not putting much stock in it. It is still way above the coverline, but if I were pg it would show by now right?  Of course..  Sad

I am absolutely heartbroken.. I am going to throw away my BBT because it proves that even the prettiest chart doesnt always end up in a  BFP..  I am not going to keep stressing myself out. I think I am also going to take a bump break from TTCAL.  I dont think I can handle even thinking about TTC right now... 

I seriously dont know how you ladies go thru this month after month.  I am already becoming a bitter B word and I have only been ttcal for  two months, but we have been ttc #3 since last August.  I have two pg and nothing to show for it except heartache. 

YES I am Debbie Downer today!

Would anyone care to take over "Ladies in waiting" for me while I take a break?  I havent been doing a very good job of keeping up with it anyway.. 

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Re: 16 dpo FRER says.....

  • I'm soooooooo sorry I just wanna hug you so badly right now.
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  • Aww hun, I'm so sorry.  ((hugs))

     

  • UGH!!!  DANG IT!!!Crying 

    I'm so sorry hon!  That stinks!  It's okay to feel more than a littel down.  Each BFN each month is never fun, especially the first few months.  We'd miss you of course if you took a break, but you have to do what's best for you!  I know personally when I get a BFN of AF comes each month I always have a good two to three days where I just hate myself, my body, everything around me that has to do with babies and TTC...but soon after that I start looking forward to the next cycle. I hope that this is the case for you.  That being said, this is such a frustrating thing for you because your chart is so awesome!

    How long is your LP usually? Is this a long stretch for you?

  • Oh sweetie, I am SO sorry! I wish I could hug you in person right now. I can understand wanting to take a break (this is our 4th cycle TTC after the m/c, and I'm already getting burnt out).

    Do you think there's any chance that you O'd later, maybe 15dpo? I know it doesn't match up with your OPK that well, but I'm racking my brain to think of any reason you could still get a BFN right now - it just seems impossible!

  • oh Lynn!  I'm so sorry sweetie : (  Love you girl, and completely understand if you need a break.  (((Big hugs)))
  • imagecarasizemore:

    UGH!!!  DANG IT!!!Crying 

    I'm so sorry hon!  That stinks!  It's okay to feel more than a littel down.  Each BFN each month is never fun, especially the first few months.  We'd miss you of course if you took a break, but you have to do what's best for you!  I know personally when I get a BFN of AF comes each month I always have a good two to three days where I just hate myself, my body, everything around me that has to do with babies and TTC...but soon after that I start looking forward to the next cycle. I hope that this is the case for you.  That being said, this is such a frustrating thing for you because your chart is so awesome!

    How long is your LP usually? Is this a long stretch for you?

    Yah my LP last month was 12 days...  I have never had one this long except if I was pg...  I just dont understand!

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  • would your OB do a blood test???
  • imageredshoegirl:

    Oh sweetie, I am SO sorry! I wish I could hug you in person right now. I can understand wanting to take a break (this is our 4th cycle TTC after the m/c, and I'm already getting burnt out).

    Do you think there's any chance that you O'd later, maybe 15dpo? I know it doesn't match up with your OPK that well, but I'm racking my brain to think of any reason you could still get a BFN right now - it just seems impossible!

    I guess it is possible, CD 12 was when I got the darkest OPK.. I guess its possible that it was CD 15.  But at 14 dpo still it should be a BFP...  :(  *sigh*  Im not holding out any hope..

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  • imageBeckyS1211:
    would your OB do a blood test???

    I doubt it.  I dont know, I will have to ask Melissa. (we go to the same dr).  I havent had a pg experience with him yet so I dont know...

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  • imagecowgirl:

    I am absolutely heartbroken.. I am going to throw away my BBT because it proves that even the prettiest chart doesnt always end up in a  BFP..  I am not going to keep stressing myself out. I think I am also going to take a bump break from TTCAL.  I dont think I can handle even thinking about TTC right now... 

    I seriously dont know how you ladies go thru this month after month.  I am already becoming a bitter B word and I have only been ttcal for  two months, but we have been ttc #3 since last August.  I have two pg and nothing to show for it except heartache. 

    I quit temping for just the same reason!  I got a very pretty triphasic chart and lovely high temps and ended up with an ugly BFN.  It is stressful and I think that is part of the reason that I have had BFNs for so long.  I let the stress get to me.  Remember it was not too long ago that two "oldies" got their BFP because they stopped trying.  Right now I only use the CBEFM to determine when/if I O and that is it.  It is so much nicer to not have the added BBT stress.  Another thought would be to temp until you O and then stop during the 2ww, so that you know when you O but don't stress out during the 2ww and let things happen.  

    Do what you need to do to make you and your family happy.  Maybe a change in focus is just what you need... and it might help with some of the problems you and your DH have been having.  GL with what ever you decide.

  • I'm sorry, darling.  If you take a break, you'll still have the same support when you come back.  Be well.

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  • Cowgirl, I am so sorry.  I stopped temping for the exact same reason.  Hugs.
  • I am so sorry. ((hugs))
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  • NOOOO!

    I'm so sorry Lynn.  I can't imagine why your LP is being so long... maybe you really did O later than you thought.

    I would call your Dr and just see if they would do a blood test.  

    My friend who had her little boy the same month that I had Sophi, kept getting BFN's and finally asked her Dr to do a blood test.  The Dr's thought she was crazy, but low and behond, she was KU!

    GL!  I'm still keeping my fingers crossed!

  • I'm sooo sorry to hear that. ((HUGS))

    After my EDD BFN, I also quit temping, and began an "unofficial bump break". I still check in from time to time, but I find it snaps me out of my relaxed mode pretty fast so I try to steer clear. I have been finding so many other things to do than to worry about TTC, and it's really helped. I've relaxed so much, I've even forgotten to POAS for my CBEFM a few days! By relaxing, I've been able to enjoy sex so much more as well, and not just look at it as "baby-making".

    You do what's best for you and take care of yourself! I'll keep up with you through FB! :)

  • Sad I am so sorry Lynn. It hurts when you have a really nice chart and then you see that. Like the other ladies said maybe just temp until you O and then put down that BBT. I am going to try this this month as well. I am sorry you are hurting so much now, take some time with your family and forget about this TTC stuff for a little bit. (((BIG HUGS)))
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  • megjr8megjr8 member
    I am sooooo sorry!!!! :::Bear Hugs:::
    In memory of precious Julia, sweet baby James, and now Timmy who fought so hard.


    Natural miscarriage - April 2009 ~ We love you, 'Blueberry'
    Lydia, born July 12, 2010
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  • Lynn, I am so sorry you are feeling so down. I really wish I had the words to make you feel better, but all it takes at this point is time. You WILL get pregnant again. We have been trying since last July, also, nothing to show for it but two losses and heartache. I understand. I'm here if you need me.

    I get that you need a "bump break". They are helpful. Don't loose contact. You know how to get ahold of me. :::big hugs:::

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  • BFN's suck! So sorry!

    ((Hugs))

    02/08 BFP resulted in m/c 4/10/08 (11 weeks)
    10/08 Clomid Cycle #1 = m/c 11/7/08 (6 weeks)
    03/09 Clomid Cycle #2 = BFN
    3 rounds of Femara + Ovidrel + IUI =BFN
    10/18/09 2nd Break Cycle (post HSG) before IVF #1 = BFP!

    ? The world thought I had it all, but I was waiting for you. ?
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  • imageBeckyS1211:
    would your OB do a blood test???

    This! I am so sorry you are going through all of this! ((hugs))

    Oct 2008 m/c #1 5 weeks, May 2009 m/c #2 4w5d. BFP 6/23/09 EDD 3/8/10!
    You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. -Eleanor Roosevelt
    After 1 year of TTC#2 BFP May 2011 m/c #3 4w2d. Off to RE.

    Round 1: Femara + Ovidrel +TI = BFP! EDD 2/20/12
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  • this IS NOT the news I logged on this AM to see :(  I am SO sorry.  SO very frustrating.  You give so much love to all ~ I hope you feel the love & support back.  Break or not break ~ we are all on your side.

  • I'm so sorry!!  ((BIG HUGS)) 
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  • epona3epona3 member

    Big hugs!  I'm with you this month - I've only been using my CBEFM and it's actually made me a lot more relaxed.  It might be good for you (and we'll definitely all be here for you when you get back!)

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  • :( I'm so sorry Lynn

     I too have gotten frustrated with temping, but mine are pretty eratic anyways.  I was really hoping to get back from vacation and see you with a bfp, you deserve it!!!

    Understand on taking a break.......I've had to step back myself quite a bit lately.  It'll happen for us one day soon!!  As for the ladies in waiting....I could take it over.  I'm actually on a work trip for the next two weeks, so I'm not sure how much bump time I will have.  But if no one else is willing, I would.  I love seeing it, and you've done a great job with it!

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  • So sorry!  {{{HUGS}}}
  • I'm soooooo sorry hun.I wish I was in STL to give you a big hug!
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