When would you have your shower? And what would you do?

ambrvan · July 2009

Ok, so I'm not familiar with the shower scene, any type of shower. I've always thought wedding and baby showers are very helpful, but also way too over the top. I mean, really, games and party favors and special outfits and all this other junk? It may suit a lot of people, but not me! I'm a very simple girl who would feel more with everyone coming over for a cookout or something. Nothing special or lavish pr overly planned. Just food and fellowship.

So yeah, I'm totally knew to EVERYTHING about being pregnant, especially showers!

When would you have your shower? Coed or just women? And when would you give the OK for your friend or whoever to start planning it? When would you start registering? And what the hell would you do at your shower?

God, I sound like a total idiot about all this, I know, and yes, I am totally ignorant of "shower ettiquete." But it's really just not my scene. And yes, I'm notoriously afraid to ask for help (with anything, ever). So while DH is anxious and eager to be doing all of this (and chock full of advice and information, since he already has one daughter), I can't bring myself to even talk about it around him. It's new to me. And even though I adore my step-daughter, I really don't like knowing that this is not as new for him as it is for me.

Hmm.... reading back over all this, I sound like a real b*itch. Lol! Sorry. I guess I just get a little touchy over all this. Actually, I get bit touchy over everything lately.

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RoxyLynn · July 2009

The great part about is that there are really only a few things that the Mom-to-be has to do.

1. Say "yes" when someone offers to host.

2. Work with the host on a date, usually when you're 7 or 8 months along.

3. Go to the shower.

4. Write thank-you notes for gifts.

That's it! The rest is up to the hostess.

EastCoastBride · July 2009

WEll, most importantly- you don't throw it yourself. This is a gift thrown for you by someone else. So... most of this is up left to the hostess.

If someone offers to throw you one, keep in mind that the guest list is based on what THEY can afford to throw.. If they say "30 people", then it's up to you to invite either 30 women or 15 couples.

ambrvan · July 2009

That's not a problem at all. lol! I've got like three people wanting to throw me three different showers (different places, since I'm not from here). And the problem is that they want to do all kinds of crap that I think is pointless or overly-lavish. I just want something simple and down to earth. I am a very socially uncomfortable person. I don't want a lot of people, or gifts, or anything.

blondie42107 · July 2009

Looks like you have two choices. Agree to a shower if someone offers or say no thank if it's not your cup of tea. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Melanie.Brown · July 2009

I don't think it's rude to accept when someone offers to throw one, and just mention that you'd like it to be low key. I'm having 3 different showers thrown, one with family, one with friends, and one with co-workers. Every single hostess has asked for my input and is making sure I will be comfortable at my own shower.

A friend of mine did something neat because she is uncomfortable with being the center of attention. When it came time to open gifts, each guest picked a gift off of the table (not the one they brought) and opened it at their seat. (Her mom who was throwing the shower had a couple of extra gifts there too in case someone didn't bring one).

EastCoastBride · July 2009

O.k. = a couple other thoughts, then. First, you can say "no" to a shower. You dont' have to have 3. Second, guests should only be invited to one. Third, be realistic - showers ARE about gifts. Dont want gifts? Don't want to open gifts? Then don't have a "shower". Because that is what they are about!

But also- TELL your possible hosts what it is you want and don't want. They are talking lavish? Be honest and say "That just isn't me". If they insist on it- then you can say "Well, I appreciate the offer, but I'd rather not have a shower."

sveldey · July 2009

Traditionally someone else would throw a shower for you, a mother, friend or close coworker. If no-one seems to be up for it, offer to help. Provide the host with contact info for the guests, email addresses if you are doing an Evite (easy, free way to invite people so long as they check their email), Or mailing addresses if something is going to be mailed out. My mother in law just threw us an informal shower, that we combined with my birthday and a few family anniversary. How we always do celebrations in his family is pot luck style and everyone brings something, His grandmother baked us a cake, and it was very laid back. His other mother is throwing us a shower, but we are helping out with games, and favors cause she has never really done this before, and we are having both guys and girls come. We are keeping it lite like playing pin the diaper on the baby, and worst case scenario diaper bag packing list, for which we got prizes at the dollar store. But all the work is worth it, because for some of the peolpe attending it's the last chance you'll get to hang out with them before you have the baby. So enjoy, remember it's for fun, and don't loose the gift reciepts.

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