Baby Showers

To invite MIL or not

Hi ladies! My mom called me today and told me she was sending out the invites for my upcoming shower next month and asked me if I wanted to invite my MIL. I told her I didn't know, since I'm positive my MIL is also throwing me a shower of her own a week after the one my mom and sister are hosting.

The shower my mom is hosting will be mostly family from my side, as well as my close friends and female coworkers. My MIL only knows a few of these people, and she and my mom have only met a handful of times.

My question is...do you think it would be ok to not invite her to the shower, knowing that she is hosting her own as well, or should I invite her regardless just to have both grandmothers there? Any advice is appreciated. I wouldn't mind either way (I like my MIL), but I was wondering if there was certain etiquette in this situation. TIA!

Re: To invite MIL or not

  • it sounds like maybe your MIL's shower will be a surprise?  It sounds like you're not sure if she really is throwing one or not.  I say have your mom send an invite and leave it up to her if she wants to come or not. 

     I only had one baby shower that 2 of my girlfriends threw so everyone was at one.  For my bridal showers, though, I had 3...1 of them was just my mom's group of friends so my MIL was not invited to that one, but the one for my side my MIL came to, and the on for my DH's side, my mom went to.  I think it would be a nice gesture to invite her.

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  • Yes your MIL should be invited and your mother should be invited to MIL's shower.  If you aren't supposed to know about MIL's shower...wouldn't it be odd that you didn't invite her to your supposedly "only" shower?  I don't know why people do surprise showers...I mean don't they want to make sure the guest of honor doesn't have other plans?   Just seems odd to me.
  • imagehopefulmom:
    Yes your MIL should be invited and your mother should be invited to MIL's shower.  If you aren't supposed to know about MIL's shower...wouldn't it be odd that you didn't invite her to your supposedly "only" shower?  I don't know why people do surprise showers...I mean don't they want to make sure the guest of honor doesn't have other plans?   Just seems odd to me.

    It's not the plans that are the issue!!  Any surprise I've ever thrown I make sure the guest of honor has "plans" with me...they just change LOL.  The issue with surprise showers for me would be the manner of dress.  I wouldn't want to show up at my inlaws in jeans when everyone would be in a cute dresses or something for a shower. 

     

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  • I'd invite MIL. She can decide whether or not she wants to come but offering the invite I think is important. Just my opinion.
  • I definitely think that MIL should be invited and the decision of whether or not to go to more than one shower would be left up to her.  I know I would want my MIL to at least be invited to mine, regardless of whether she chooses to bring a gift or not. Perhaps your mother will give you a gift at the shower she throws you and your MIL can simply wait until her shower to give you a gift, if the "double-dipping" is what makes you wary of extending the invitation.

    If it is whether MIL would feel comfortable with the people invited to your shower, I would still extend the invitation and simply follow up with a phone call to let her know that you will not be hurt if she declines the invitation...after all, she will most definitely be at the one the following week!

  • Definitely invite her... or you'll never hear the end of it Smile

  • I would invite her....is she inviting your mom to the shower she is having for you?  Either way, I feel she should be invited! Good Luck & have fun at your showers!!
  • I would definitely extend an invitation.   It's up to her whether she would want to attend or not.
  • A good friend did not have her mother and mil at each other's shower. I didn't want to either but when I brought it up I caught major flack so they'll be there.
  • Yes, invite your MIL
  • dle927dle927 member

    If in doubt, invite her. Especially if you get along with her.

    I say that after my mom invited my MIL and MIL never RSVP'd.  I guess that means she's not coming!  Ha!  Same thing happened with my bridal shower.  She doesn't get that a phone call to my mom to say she can't make it is common courtesy.  Okay, sorry for the vent...

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