SAHM isn't all that it's cracked up to be

jenerally · July 2009

It's not for everyone; it's lonely and exhausting. You don't get vacation days or sick days. You are cruise coordinator, housekeeper, maid, cook, chauffeur, boss, and peon all rolled into one. It's monotonous. And you don't get a paycheck for it ... you have to rely on someone else's largess.

.... just trying to show a different perspective on it.

pretty_helmet · July 2009

preach on sista! just being home 12 weeks was awful. the solitude drove my BSC.

RJMbim · July 2009

That's me right now period pain like hell and of course my employer (DD) doesn't care!

But hey we do get "free" food- hmm we just have to cook it lol

manda_mullins · July 2009

I agree 100%.

?

And it's that much worse if your baby is colicky! I want to do it, but at the same time I hate it some days.?

MamaMyers22 · July 2009

I agree! Although right now I bring Mo to work and it's starting to wear on me. It'd be nice to find a happy medium.

~Lily~ · July 2009

But do you feel good not having to put your LO in daycare or have other people watch your LO? Do you love being with your LO all day or do you wish you worked at least part time so you have a bit of a break?

jessandrj · July 2009

I agree, staying home just isn't for me. I thought it was, so I took an extended leave until September, instead of going back in June, and now I'm going crazy! Although since I'm a teacher, I think I will enjoy the summers with DS once he is a little older

lwilkinson · July 2009

jenerally:

It's not for everyone; it's lonely and exhausting. You don't get vacation days or sick days. You are cruise coordinator, housekeeper, maid, cook, chauffeur, boss, and peon all rolled into one. It's monotonous. And you don't get a paycheck for it ... you have to rely on someone else's largess.

This.is.my.life. MH tells me he'll switch with me anytime and I would actually take him up on it but he is in a very specific field so I really couldnt do his job. He can barely handle LO crying for 5 minutes let alone on and off all.day.long.

jenerally · July 2009

~Lily~:
But do you feel good not having to put your LO in daycare or have other people watch your LO? Do you love being with your LO all day or do you wish you worked at least part time so you have a bit of a break?

personally, I work PT and I LOVE IT. I love getting out and "being myself" a few times a week. I love having a paycheck. And I think it makes me a better mom when I AM home with the kids.

JARbaby · July 2009

I feel exactly like that everyday, doesn't every Mom working or not?

Is it June yet? · July 2009

I'm a working mom and while I have days where I cry at work because I feel like I should be with DS instead, I know I'd never be able to be a full-time SAHM. Kudos to those who can do it.

Fish4Fun · July 2009

I feel like there has been a backlash with the whole "SAHMs are hard workers, too" justification. I hear this all the time now. Personally, I loved the weeks I was able to SAH. We were both so happy and relaxed, but I am a homebody, so maybe that's why I found nothing hard about it.

Working is not so hard either, but being a SAHP was a lot easier.

MrsKatie07 · July 2009

MamaMyers22:
I agree! Although right now I bring Mo to work and it's starting to wear on me. It'd be nice to find a happy medium.

This is me too. I am so grateful my boss is letting me bring her for a while, but it is so hard to do two jobs at once- my regular work plus taking care of Ella 24/7. I think I will go part time when she has to start daycare in about 6 weeks. I don't want to stay home full time, but I also would like to spend a little more time with her.

~Lily~ · July 2009

jenerally:

~Lily~:
But do you feel good not having to put your LO in daycare or have other people watch your LO? Do you love being with your LO all day or do you wish you worked at least part time so you have a bit of a break?

personally, I work PT and I LOVE IT. I love getting out and "being myself" a few times a week. I love having a paycheck. And I think it makes me a better mom when I AM home with the kids.

I'll be going back to work soon and I'm not really looking forward to it. I'm on call pretty much 24/7 so I'm very concerned about that. Right now I wish I could work part time but I don't think my employer will allow it. I don't think I'll truly know how I feel about everything until I go back. But there's pros and cons to both working and being a SAHM, right? I think whichever I do I would be questioning whether I'm doing the right thing. But again, I won't know until I start back at work.

lac9483 · July 2009

I have been a sahm since november of 2007 and I love it, yeah I have bad days, but who doesn't? I wouldn't trade it for the world.

JARbaby · July 2009

Fish4Fun:

I feel like there has been a backlash with the whole "SAHMs are hard workers, too" justification. I hear this all the time now. Personally, I loved the weeks I was able to SAH. We were both so happy and relaxed, but I am a homebody, so maybe that's why I found nothing hard about it.

Working is not so hard either, but being a SAHP was a lot easier.

Exactly how I feel. Less time to balance everything that has to be done. We still need a clean house, food on the table, activities every afternoon and on weekends, errands still need to get done. PT would be better but it is what it is.

PlannedChaos · July 2009

It's also 24/7.

MamaMyers22 · July 2009

MrsKatie07:
MamaMyers22:
I agree! Although right now I bring Mo to work and it's starting to wear on me. It'd be nice to find a happy medium.

This is me too. I am so grateful my boss is letting me bring her for a while, but it is so hard to do two jobs at once- my regular work plus taking care of Ella 24/7. I think I will go part time when she has to start daycare in about 6 weeks. I don't want to stay home full time, but I also would like to spend a little more time with her.

I wish that were an option for me, but we have a family business that requires me to be here all.the.time.

TwinCitiesGirl · July 2009

JARbaby:
I feel exactly like that everyday, doesn't every Mom working or not?

This.

I have to do all the same things I did when I was a SAHM, except now I also have to do my office work for 8 hours a day.

I get a little frustrated when SAHM go on about how it's the hardest job in the world and how they never get any days off... I may get a day off on my office job... but on my days off I'm taking care of my kid, same as the SAHM.

Just sayin'.

JARbaby · July 2009

Oh wait, did I miss the benefits of working Moms, am I supposed to have a maid, cook, errand boy (God make him cute) and driver under my employment? Crap, where do I sign up, lol...

TwinCitiesGirl · July 2009

JARbaby:
Oh wait, did I miss the benefits of working Moms, am I supposed to have a maid, cook, errand boy (God make him cute) and driver under my employment? Crap, where do I sign up, lol...

*blowing a kiss*

MamaMyers22 · July 2009

PlannedChaos:
It's also 24/7.

After I get off work I have to cram all the things that needed to be done in the day. It's rough a lot of the time, but I do enjoy the time to myself, even though I usually have Mo with me.

MissLMS · July 2009

TwinCitiesGirl:

I have to do all the same things I did when I was a SAHM, except now I also have to do my office work for 8 hours a day.

I get a little frustrated when SAHM go on about how it's the hardest job in the world and how they never get any days off... I may get a day off on my office job... but on my days off I'm taking care of my kid, same as the SAHM.

Just sayin'.

I totally agree!

flyrsgirl1 · July 2009

This makes me feel a little better about having to go back to work. Thanks Jenerally, for that perspective!

Gramyson · July 2009

H says he wouldn't trade jobs with me for all the money in the world. i am going to start school back up in the fall, hopefully...so that will be a nice change. they have daycare on campus so it works out.

Lulu0802 · July 2009

I totally agree! I couldn't do it. 3 months and I was ready to shoot myself in the head.

MrsKatie07 · July 2009

TwinCitiesGirl:

JARbaby:
I feel exactly like that everyday, doesn't every Mom working or not?

This.

I have to do all the same things I did when I was a SAHM, except now I also have to do my office work for 8 hours a day.

I get a little frustrated when SAHM go on about how it's the hardest job in the world and how they never get any days off... I may get a day off on my office job... but on my days off I'm taking care of my kid, same as the SAHM.

Just sayin'.

I have to agree with this. Yes, staying at home for the few months of maternity leave was hard for me, and I don't think SAH is for everyone. It is a tough job, but I don't see how it's harder than working. I have to work plus do everything a SAHM does.

emaria · July 2009

if i didn't have a willing babysitter any time of the week (my mom), if i didn't have a group of mom's i know to hang out with vent to and if my husband didn't constantly tell me how much he respects me for doing this all day long there's no way in hell i'd be a sahm. i love my daughter but being a good mom also depends on me being happy and sane. fortunately we've worked out a decent system to keep me from losing my mind!

jl_nc · July 2009

yes. it is the hardest job i have ever had, but i ahvent loved any boss this much!! but its hard only having one income. we never used to argue about $$ now we do

MnM7608 · July 2009

Being at home with Eoin is nice, but I need adult interaction...tonight I get to have a night out and I don't think I should be looking forward to this much!

Ktindall · July 2009

im having a love hate relationship with sah! Some days are great and some a so bad i want to pull my hair out. I know it will get better she is only 2 months old

lesliemostly · July 2009

I just learned the hard way that being a working mom is hard! I had an extended maternity leave bc we moved and I had to get a nursing license in this state and find a job. Now that Im back to work, its been so hard. I work 12 hour night shifts and instead of being able to catch up on my sleep on my days off...Im taking care of LO, cooking, cleaning,etc. I look forward to the weekends I dont work so DH can relieve me some during the day.

MosersGirl · July 2009

I absolutely LOVE staying at home with my daughter. Yes, some days are tough, but all moms have tough days, whether they work outside the home or not. I personally could never leave my child to go to work. She is only little once, and I am enjoying every second of it. I also enjoy taking care of my home and my family in general. We are all happier, less stressed, and not rushing through each week because I am home. The house is cleaner and getting more organized by the week (yes, there IS time to clean, you just have to be motivated and organized), the dog gets lots of walks and trips to the dog park, and we spend more time visiting with grandparents. Dinner is on the table every night.

And just a couple of side notes, I AM educated (masters degree) and I get plenty of adult interaction. ;-) (I didn't read all of the responses, but I know this debate tends to go in one or both of those directions.) I meet friends for lunch/play dates, we go downtown and picnic with DH on his lunch break, I go to a stroller workout class, I read books and trade with friends, etc.

Also, I did love my teaching job, but nothing about it is more interesting, exciting, or more important than being at home with DD. I can go back to teaching in a year, five years, or twenty years, but she will only be a baby for a very short while. To me, this is what life is all about.

Lilo06 · July 2009

MosersGirl:
I absolutely LOVE staying at home with my daughter. Yes, some days are tough, but all moms have tough days, whether they work outside the home or not. I personally could never leave my child to go to work. She is only little once, and I am enjoying every second of it. I also enjoy taking care of my home and my family in general. We are all happier, less stressed, and not rushing through each week because I am home. The house is cleaner and getting more organized by the week (yes, there IS time to clean, you just have to be motivated and organized), the dog gets lots of walks and trips to the dog park, and we spend more time visiting with grandparents. Dinner is on the table every night.

And just a couple of side notes, I AM educated (masters degree) and I get plenty of adult interaction. ;-) (I didn't read all of the responses, but I know this debate tends to go in one or both of those directions.) I meet friends for lunch/play dates, we go downtown and picnic with DH on his lunch break, I go to a stroller workout class, I read books and trade with friends, etc.

Also, I did love my teaching job, but nothing about it is more interesting, exciting, or more important than being at home with DD. I can go back to teaching in a year, five years, or twenty years, but she will only be a baby for a very short while. To me, this is what life is all about.

Pretty much this, only substitute in a different degree and job field. Oh, and I have a DS and not a DD. Big Smile

I absolutely love being a SAHM. I can't imagine not having this time with Kiddo, and I feel very blessed that we can make it on DH's income so that I don't have to work.

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