Was 6 weeks enough time for maternity leave?

nmr79 · July 2009

I will be reluctantly returning to work part-time after LO arrives. We aren't broke, but we do need the money. My question is, is 6 weeks enough time for maternity leave? My company doesn't pay any maternity leave, so it's not a matter of that. I happen to work with people who all were anxious to return to work after having kids, so they all think it was fine. I am in a different mindset, however, and have heard from many people (family and friends) that it's hard to establish breastfeeding if there are only 6 weeks home with LO. I'm just trying to figure out what to do, post baby.

MargieMom · July 2009

Technically, yes...sometimes emotionally, no. I went bak PT after 2 weeks, from home...GL!!!

momofolivia · July 2009

6 weeks would have been way too early for me. I went back at 11 weeks. I had a lot of difficulty Bfing for the first 3 months. I had difficulty bonding to DD the first 8 weeks because of her acid reflux/incredible crying issues and just learning to be a new mom. Our turnaround happened at 8 weeks.

I would push for as much time as possible. Oh wait - I just saw you are PT. Well, that would change things imo. You aren't gone all day.

Can you play it by ear and give a tentative return date? But push it if needed?

trinny · July 2009

IMO, no, but it probably depends on the baby. My DD was still nursing A TON at that age-- it was hard to even go to Target. But I guess I would have done it if I had to. I ended up with 16w, which was just about perfect, but 12w would have been okay, and 6w I was still a zombie.

itsmyturn2 · July 2009

How much is part time? A few hours or 20 hours? 3 days or 5? I think that plays into it alot, but in general I would say no, I wasn't ready. I was still trying to figure everything out and the 6 weeks just flew by. But if you have to do it, then you can, you'll make it work and you will manage. :-)

nmr79 · July 2009

I should clarify- by part-time, I mean that I will be working 24 hours a week. I'm a nurse, and will be doing 3 8.5-hour shifts each week. I live 45 min. from work, so going home to nurse will not be an option. I'm leaning towards the 12 week leave, but just want to make sure I don't seem unreasonable by doing so. (especially since I don't want to work at all!)

mandarod · July 2009

There's no way I could have been back at 6 weeks, even pt.

14years · July 2009

Going back to work at 6 weeks would have been really hard. I was still pretty darn tired all the time. DS started sleeping much better at about 10 weeks, and things got a lot easier. I also BF, and BF was fine but still kind of hard sometimes at 6 weeks. By 3 months, it was easy as pie.

Obviously, every one's different, and you could have a much different experience, but I was still trying to hold it together at 6 weeks. Things were a lot easier than the first couple of weeks, but I had a way to go to feel truly comfortable in my new role as a mom. By 13 weeks, I felt great, and 100% ready to go back. I would seriously consider putting it off a few more weeks if you can figure out how to handle it financially.

EastCoastBride · July 2009

IMO - no. I had just really started feeling back to "normal" around 6 weeks. The first 2 or 3 weeks were a blur, and by 6 weeks - we were starting to get into a rhythm but I was NOT 100% there by any means.

I took 12 weeks, much of it unpaid, and I'm glad I did. By the time 12 weeks was up, I definitely felt better about going back to work.

Maybride2 · July 2009

mandarod:
There's no way I could have been back at 6 weeks, even pt.

Ditto.

I know that millions of women do it every year and survive, but I couldn't have gone back at 6 weeks.........I was still a zombie adjusting to having a baby. 12 weeks was just about the perfect amount of time for me.

luvmagoldn · July 2009

I went back to work after having my twins at six months. With this baby I went back at nine weeks. Both were difficult but I must say nine weeks was especially so b/c 1) DS was so little, 2) we were just starting to get the hang of things and 3) he obviously was not sleeping through the night.

I say take as much time as you can afford.

nmr79 · July 2009

Thanks for your input guys! I have felt that 6 weeks is not enough, but I work with people who are just so different from me, and they make it seem like 6 weeks is ample time, and that I'm being weird for wanting to get in a routine with LO before going back.(I'm one of the few people who doesn't work crazy overtime and savors my time off). I think things will be tight financially, but in the long run, will be healthier. I guess I just needed to hear that I'm not being unreasonable/lazy/whatever. At least Monday is half over!

Wubster042109 · July 2009

IMO, it totally depends on the baby/mom.

I went back after 8 weeks but I could've definitely gone back after 6 weeks. Then again, I had a smooth recovery from L&D. DD had no issues w/ colic/reflux. She slept great for us right from the start. Etc.

Also....I honestly think attitude has alot to do with it. Was I completely thrilled to go back after 8 weeks? Not entirely. But I have to work, so I decided to make the most of it. There was no point in dwelling on how I wanted to be home when that wasn't an option.

Mjmksb04 · July 2009

If had to, I could have went back at 6 weeks, since right around then, DS figured out his days and nights. But I definitely preferred having the extra 4 weeks off.

Mrs.0428 · July 2009

Wubster042109:

IMO, it totally depends on the baby/mom.

I went back after 8 weeks but I could've definitely gone back after 6 weeks. Then again, I had a smooth recovery from L&D. DD had no issues w/ colic/reflux. She slept great for us right from the start. Etc.

Also....I honestly think attitude has alot to do with it. Was I completely thrilled to go back after 8 weeks? Not entirely. But I have to work, so I decided to make the most of it. There was no point in dwelling on how I wanted to be home when that wasn't an option.

I agree. I went back at 7 weeks because I didn't have a choice and honestly I was ready for a little adult interaction. Did I want to leave my DS? No. 4 weeks later I still rush home to get him at the end of the day but we are both surviving. Am I half asleep at work still? Yes. But you do what you need to do for your family.

Like the above poster I was lucky to have an easy recovery and we didn't have any major hurdles with BF. My baby still gets up every 2 hours at night, but I am surviving on the sleep that I am able to get.

trigirl30 · July 2009

Stay home as long as possible, especially if you plan to breastfeed. Yes, you can do it at 6 weeks, but you probably will not have an established schedule yet. It will be much easier if you can push your start date back another month. Good luck!

Muffins_Mom · July 2009

I'll be the lone dissenter here. Six weeks was plenty of time for me. I was going crazy by then. Of course, I missed DD (and still do 3.5 years later) but I have only rarely felt mommy-guilt about working.

With that being said, it totally depends on the mom, the baby, the job, the family situation, etc. You can't really judge your situation based on other people.

riare12 · July 2009

For me 6 weeks would not have been enough. However, I had a c-section that took a while for me to recover. But, I didn't get used to BFing for 10 weeks, at least. I would recommend taking off as long as possible!

duchess0727 · July 2009

My daughter was in the NICU for 3 weeks and at 6 weeks, she weighed only 6 lbs. I definitely was not ready to go back. I think that FMLA provides 12 weeks for a good reason. That's about the time when you feel like you can handle going back to work. I went back at 10 weeks and 11 weeks (with DS and then DD). It was hard but my mom was with them both for the first month. They both went (or are going) into daycare at 4 months.

asnowracer · July 2009

I went "back" at 6 weeks, but it was actually a brand new job for me. (i didn't qualify for any longer.)

On a side note, not everyone qualifies for FMLA. I did not since I had not worked at my job for one year.

It was certainly hard. I will still hormonal and emotional, and still physically healing after some major tearing. Would I do it again? No, I'd take more time. But I still don't think it would be easy at any point. I think it also depends on how well your baby sleeps, which is different for everyone. Thankfully mine has slept well but does get up about twice. He gets up to eat and then falls right back asleep.

What helped? Taking the baby to daycare for an afternoon before I went back, rather than drop him off for the first time during a long day. I was able to get all my tears out that afternoon rather than showing up a globby mascared redfaced mess on my first day. Also, having the daycare lady call me for updates rather than me calling her....nothing is worse than calling to see how he's doing and hearing him wailing in the background.

Also, I exclusively breastfeed. I pump 3 times a day, which is not easy since I work in anywhere from 4-7 buildings and an office only in 2 of them. It's not easy, but it can be done!

flyer23 · July 2009

Maternity leave is never long enough Smile

No matter when you have to go back -- 6 weeks, 8 weeks, 12 weeks, 1 year, whenever -- you'll figure it out.

But it sounds like you know you want to take more than 6 weeks and it's just other people who are pressuring you into taking less time... don't listen to them. You're not being lazy or anything like that. I mean, what mom WOULDN'T want a few more weeks home with her newborn baby?

FWIW, I took 18 weeks and it wasn't long enough Wink But if I had gone back at 6 weeks, I could've done it. I was fully recovered and DD was sleeping through the night. I'm very glad I had the extra time, because it allowed me to enjoy my maternity leave and not just survive it -- but if I had had to go back at 6 weeks, I'm sure I would've worked it out.

jennifer griveas · July 2009

6 weeks flies by -- my son was in the NICU for 79 days, so I went back to work after 6 weeks so that I would have time left when he came home. Even while he was still in the hospital it was really hard to go to work each day. When he came home I took the remaining 6 weeks of my leave (I'm lucky to have 12 weeks paid leave at my job) and an additional 2 weeks unpaid. even that 8 weeks went incredibly fast. I wish I could have come back to a part time schedule for a while, but that was not a possibility. I think everyone just makes do the best they can. It will always be hard to leave your baby, no matter how many weeks you've had.

The_Jen626 · July 2009

For me, no I would not have been ready at 6 weeks. I had a c/s and barely felt human at 6 weeks. I was "cleared" at 8 weeks to go back to work, but took off 2 more weeks unpaid, and i'm SO GLAD that I did. That extra 2 weeks helped me so much. I would have felt fine going back at 9 weeks if I absolutely had to, but it was great going back at 11 weeks instead. I'm back part time, I work 3 8 hour days every week, and it's a perfect balance for me.

MrsScottBrady · July 2009

I went back at 6 weeks. It was hard, but that was all the maternity leave I had. DS did a great job adjusting and we have had a great experience. I would have LOVED to stay home longer, but it just didn't work out for me.

Good Luck!

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