is anyone planning on finding out the sex but....

Vuja_de · July 2009

keeping it a secret and pretending you have no idea?

My In-laws, my parents and all of our friends do not want us to find out the sex but DH and I are just so impatient, so we thought we would find out but keep it a secret from everyone until the LOs birthday.

i feel a bit devious lying to everyone (i am a very bad liar) but they don't want to know but WE do.. so what do you think? Did anyone else do this?

Lizzerd13 · July 2009

If they don't want to know and you do then find out and tell them that you know but aren't going to tell them since they don't want to know. That way you don't have to lie.

breech · July 2009

i say do it. its your baby.

easjer05 · July 2009

Yep. See siggy.

IRL, we are pretty much just telling people that 'we are planning to keep the sex a surprise.' We leave off that the surprise is for them, not us. A few people have balked, and one clever person caught on that there was some wiggle room in that statement. After the big u/s, we intend to repeat that the baby will be a surprise or say that it was unclear/they couldn't get a good shot to tell us.

There are several reasons. One, DH wanted to have the announcement moment after birth - this way he gets that. Two, most people we know that don't find out receive practical gifts instead of clothing, and we want to keep things gender neutral as possible to reuse for siblings. Three, I just think it's fun to make it a game and keep people interest, but I really feel compelled to know myself.

easjer05 · July 2009

Lizzerd13:
If they don't want to know and you do then find out and tell them that you know but aren't going to tell them since they don't want to know. That way you don't have to lie.

The problem with that is that people start reading into your words and assume you are slipping up and telling them. And a lot of people say they don't want to know, but if the temptation is there, they are going to pry for it.

Which is why we are telling people it will be a surprise rather than telling them we know but aren't telling.

Hell, even my friend H, who is a devoted team greener, is being driven crazy because her doctor let slip that the sex was included on the u/s report and is noted in her file. If her doc didn't know or didn't have easy access, it wouldn't bother her, but now she wants to know.

lilmel6 · July 2009

Yup. That's exactly what we're doing. None of our family wants to know either, but we do. The way I see it is, if word accidentally leaks out, it's our decision and our baby. They'll just have to deal.

megs&hops · July 2009

It's your choice not there's. And if they don't want to know - then don't tell them.

NavyErin · July 2009

We found and and have been sharing with people as it comes up. For a while I was really against even telling our parents what th LO is because so many people we know felt it was their right to know and that if we didn't find out there we were inconveniencing them.

Regardless of the issue, when it comes to your child, it's nobody else's business until you choose to make it their business.

Sarah Vandehey · July 2009

my dad was the same way, he kept telling us that we shouldn't find out and it wrecks the surprise, but we both wanted to know.In the end, I realized it is our decision and people will always have their opinion but when it comes you, your husband and your children the decision is yours in the end, so do what you want not what others tell you to do. Also we told my parents we planned on finding out, now that we know my parents asked and can't stop talking about how excited they are for their first grandchild, a little girl. I think my dad realized that he can have input, but in the end he knows it was our decision....now he nonstop talks about what our little girls name is going to be and all the fun stuff we can do with our daughter so it all worked out. Some people say it ruins the surprise...I say you still have a surprise, you just get it sooner, not to mention it was really a special moment for me and DH to share and now we can plan for our little one! It was really special because it was just the two of us their and his first chance to see his baby girl. If you want to find out, find out you don't have to tell anyone whether you did or not, because why are they asking if they don't want to know?

kross605 · July 2009

In my opinion you should do what YOU want to do. This is your experience first and your family's second. One idea thats new to me but seems interesting if youre on the fence about finding out is to ask your dr to write the sex on a slip of paper sealed in an envelope. When baby shower time comes, give that envelope to a baker and have them tint the batter to either pink or blue depending on the sex listed on the slip of paper. Then, when you cut into the cake at the baby shower, everyone, including you, finds out at once and its a big surprise and celebration sans gender specific clothing and blankets and the like. This is not the way to go if you wanted the reveal to be a special moment for just you and DH, but this could work if you want to celebrate with everyone as soon as you find out. You could also just do the batter thing but not tell anyone its significance and see if they catch on....

Annabelle7 · July 2009

It's your baby. If you and your DH want to find out, then you should. We found out and aren't telling because we want to keep it a secret. Some people are trying to guess and whine about it, but hey, it's my baby not theirs! :P

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