TTC after 35

just need to talk...Sad(long)

I know I do not post alot, but I was hoping I could post this here and get some help working through this...

I have a brother that is almost 10 year younger than me that I am very close with.  Well he married his college sweet heart last year whom I am not that close with.  Well on Mother's Day they called and told me they were expecting their 1st and it was due at the end of November.  I was so excited.  This meant that my little girl and their little one would only be a year and a half apart.  The went to their 12 wk sono and appt and were asked to schedule another sono at 16 wks.  At their 16 wk sono the tech & dr saw an abnormality with the placenta.  That is all the info my brother gave us and his wife is a very private person, so we figured everything was fine.  Well they went for their 20 wk appt today and there was no heartbeat.  How devasting for them.  She has to go in and be induced and deliver tomorrow. 

I am so upset and do not know what to do.  I called him and told him how sorry I was and that I am available to help them out.  Of course I can not call her since we are not the best of friends and I am not sure she wants to speak with me.  I had an uneventful 1st pregnancy at the ripe old age of 36 and she is only 30 and did expected to have an uneventful pregnancy also.

I guess I am not looking for any answers but just needed to get this off my chest so to speak.  Thanks for listening.

Re: just need to talk...Sad(long)

  • I'm so, so sorry you and your brother are going through this.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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  • OscarQOscarQ member
    That is heartbreaking.  I'm so sorry for your entire family.
  • I am sorry to hear that. Even if you aren't able to speak directly with your SIL, you called your brother and he knows you are there for them both if need be.

    Hopefully they get back on their feet and are able to get a BFP.

  • very sad that is true...But calling and offering to help in anyway is a huge step...you are there emotionally and they know that... Keep in touch with him and they will know you are there and care...take care of yourself
    "Onward"--CathyMD Waiting since 07/5/2011 for our forever child! Yep we are adopting!
  • I'm sorry.  So very, very sad.
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  • I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  My prayers are with you and your entire family.
  • Sorry for the loss your SIL & Brother are going through.  A late loss can be very devastating, no matter what age.

    Even though you two are not on good terms you can still let her know you are there for her, maybe write her a note and have your brother give it to her.  Hearing that someone is there if you need them maybe something she needs to hear.

  • T&P for your family!!
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  • I'm so sorry for what you are going through...T&P are with you!
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  • I'm so sorry. Your brother and SIL will be in my T&Ps.  I think you should reach out to SIL. If she doesn't want to takl that is ok just let her know that you are there for her if she needs someone.  I don't know if you live in close proxmity but maybe you can make some food and take it over. I know she probably won't wan tto eat but she should and will probably be happy to not have to think about making anything.  Again, I'm so sorry.
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  • How tragic.  So sorry for you and your family.

    The best you can do is let you brother know that you're there for the 2 of them...maybe some of the ladies on TTCAL would have better advice??

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