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SHower/MIL issue advice?

Mrs.TeddyMrs.Teddy member
in 3rd Trimester

I will make this quick, I am home from the hosptial for hours and have MIL issues ALREADY!

My MIL is "throwing" my shower but expects me to do all the work. DH & I are fighting often about it, & my mom the peacekeeper is literally doing a lot of work for a 2nd time (MIL refused to join my mom's earlier shower).

Anways today is the RSVP date & MIL just called asking is so&so was coming, I realized I didn't send that person an invite! crap!!Let me say that I shouldn't have been in charge of the invites anyways, I hardley know the person & her & DH both looked over the list of onvited people & did not notice this person was missing. MIL wants me to call the person & get them an invite ASAP. I don't even have their addy, I don't think I should be the one calling askign them to coemt o my shower in 2 weeks (we are going to THEIR weddign next weekend which is why MIL wants them invited but I did not have her at my wedding or shower just a year ago). Help keep me sane, whats the solution (her MIL & cousin both got invited weeks ago BTW! so she knows when they went out!). So much for short, thanks ladies!

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Re: SHower/MIL issue advice?

  • mags2144mags2144

    there is absolutely NO WAY that you can call that lady to invite her to your own shower! you are THE GUEST OF HONOR at the shower, not the hostess!! that is completely ludicrous.  you need to just tell your MIL that she needs to call her friend, explain the error, and invite her. 

    ugh i can't believe she thinks that you are in charge of your own shower?! so werid!!

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  • mandi7782mandi7782 member
    wow, I would totally go crazy with a MIL like that.  I am so sorry you are dealing with her right now.
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  • tripleninetriplenine member

    she should call if she wants the person there.... That is so stupid..

    My MIL didnt offer to help but when it comes time to call her "nieces" that can do no wrong... I am making her call.  ( one of them invited me to easter on year, and then then next year, when we were engaged, didn't invite me cause there wasn''t enough room... BS! )

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  • KatB12KatB12
    I agreee with pp that you can't invite someone to the shower- you are the guest of honor- odd. Plus hello didn't you just get out of the hospital today, tell MIL this is too overwhelming for you to deal with and that it is too stressful and she and DH can deal with it.
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  • Mrs.TeddyMrs.Teddy member

    I know this just wanted to make I am not being a totaly Biitch as I tend to be with my MIL cus she drives me totally insane! thanks! I am going to leave this one up to her, and to let DH let her know of the error, I've been out of the hospital for 5 hrs or so I don't need this! LOL!

     

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  • sabrina69barnessabrina69barnes member
     Your MIL needs to be the one to call but I'm not sure if you will be able to convince her of that. Can you just not answer when she calls or move and not give her your new adress? I'm so sorry that you have to deal with your MIL.
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  • At1stsightAt1stsight
    As others have said, MIL has to call. I'd just reinforce that it'd be very impolite for you to ask her to come to your shower, as that makes it sound like you're throwing your own party and asking for a gift. Hopefully she gets the picture that you're not trying to evade 'helping' (though, as you said, you shouldn't have to do anything!) and are just trying to be tactful.
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  • howa0155howa0155 member

    I think it would be tacky for you to call.  Tell your MIL if she wants them there, it would be best for her to call so to keep with etiquette.  And good luck with the rest of the shower too.

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  • deltagirl79deltagirl79 member

    I'm so happy to hear you are out of the hospital!! Smile 

    I agree that you can not be the one to call, you are the guest of honor. If your MIL wants her invited she should call. Honestly, if this guests MIL & cousin are both invited, I would play dumb when calling, "We're trying to get a head count for the shower and haven't heard from you?" I know it's bad but it sounds like it might be easier in this case.

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  • kiki4kiki4 member

    imageKatB12:
    I agreee with pp that you can't invite someone to the shower- you are the guest of honor- odd. Plus hello didn't you just get out of the hospital today, tell MIL this is too overwhelming for you to deal with and that it is too stressful and she and DH can deal with it.

    Totally agree with this!!

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  • heatherchelleheatherchelle

    You should not be the one doing all this work for your own shower. It sounds like she's basically asking you to plan a shower for yourself and then let her take all the credit.

    As for the missed invite, if your MIL wants to call her fine, but I think it would seem awfully tacky if you did it. Since her wedding is next week, you could always claim that you assumed she would be on her honeymoon and unable to make it to your shower. That is, if you think her feelings might be hurt.

     

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  • Mrs.TeddyMrs.Teddy member
    imagedeltagirl79:

    I'm so happy to hear you are out of the hospital!! Smile 

    I agree that you can not be the one to call, you are the guest of honor. If your MIL wants her invited she should call. Honestly, if this guests MIL & cousin are both invited, I would play dumb when calling, "We're trying to get a head count for the shower and haven't heard from you?" I know it's bad but it sounds like it might be easier in this case.

    haha I acctually LOVE this idea! I thought of similarily sayign I just found the invite, stamped & labeled, somehow it remained behind on the desk when DH mailed the other ones out! May try something like that!

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  • golfbride11golfbride11 member

    Destroy that "forgotten" invite immediately and never speak of it again.  You have a long life ahead of you with your MIL.  This is something you may never live down...believe me.  I accidentally dropped a Christmas card meant for FIL our first Christmas together (it was in the couch and we found it in February or something)...his wife STILL brings it up 3 years later.

    Tell her you haven't heard from her friend and suggest she call her.... but never admit your mistake.  Wink

    Good Luck!

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  • mediadivamediadiva member
    I would not call, your DH needs to back you up. Thats crazy and hoenstly it's RUDE to invite someone to your own shower, or?at-least?REALLY WEIRD.
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