My pity party...(long intro)

candycane3t · July 2009

Hi everyone, I am sorry to read about all of your losses.

Today I was 11 weeks pregnant and instead of going for a routine doctor's appointment, I went to see her for a d&c. My heart is truly broken. My husband and I got pregnant on our first try after just two months of being married. We were on cloud nine to say the least, now we are crushed. Everyone knew that we were TTC but not very many knew we were actually PG. I had someone tell my close friends and family so they wouldn't ask the dreaded question "so are you preggers yet?"

This is my second miscarriage. My first was about 10 years ago, I lost that baby after five months. The pregnancy was unplanned but I was still excited and making plans for that baby. The loss this morning was planned and even though it was 2 months sooner that I lost this one, I feel so much worse than with the first.

Why me???

While in the hospital this morning, there was so many girls there for an abortion, I just sat in the waiting room and cried my eyes out. The nurses moved me to a comfortable room with recliners and warm blankets and said it was to comfort the women experiencing a loss so that is how I know the others were abortions. Why can't I just have a baby while the other girls are just throwing theirs away?

Physically my body is doing ok, obviously bleeding and cramping but mentally I am exhausted. As soon as we got home from the hospital I started reading this board when my DH said I needed to rest. I said it helps to read your stories. I had a nap and now I'm ready to share mine.

The doctor said we can start trying as soon as I'm ready, that there was nothing that I could have done differently and the good part is that we are obviously fertile people with it happening on our first try.

Sorry for the long intro but that felt good to get out!

LMichelleG · July 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss. Its a crappy reason that we're all here, but I'm glad this board is here. I found it yesterday and have really found it to be a place to come and just "go through the motions" with others who have experienced a similar loss. Hugs to you during this time of sadness. You will be in my prayers today.

someflower6 · July 2009

i'm so sorry you have to be here, and i'm sorry to hear about your earlier loss as well. i can completely relate to that "cloud nine" feeling when you found out you were pregnant-- and the absolute devestation a miscarriage brings. i know you have a long road ahead of you, with plenty of ups and downs... but i hope that you can find some comfort and peace with the other ladies on this board. best to you. *hugs*

momagain2009 · July 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss. It is really hard so make sure you take time for yourself.

Kel&Jay · July 2009

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you'll be able to find some comfort here among other ladies that have experienced similar situations. I know they've been wonderful to me.

sunsetlove · July 2009

sorry for your losses.. ((HUGS)))

vkbaby09 · July 2009

I am so very sorry for your two losses. My heart goes out to you.

megjr8 · July 2009

I know what you mean about cloud nine too... I remember on my way to work the morning I found out I was pregnant I whispered out loud "Finally some joy after all we've been through". DH had a major construction accident 5 days before our wedding in 2007 and we've been dealing with physical health issues for him ever since. I'm thankful he's even alive!! By that weekend (on Easter) I miscarried. I was devastated, crushed, so many different ways to describe it.... I am so so sorry for your loss!!

amylinn9 · July 2009

I am so sorry for your losses.

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