WTH WWYD?

*sallymad* · July 2009

My friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding (we aren't real close, but we were in high school. I see her maybe 2-3 times a year). So she set her date and I marked it off on my calender (I'm a wedding photographer).

I just happened to see some comments on said friends facebook page talking to someone else and she told this other person that the date has been moved up a weekend to get the reception venue she wanted. She didn't say anything to me and I have a wedding that weekend.

First off, this is very odd she wouldn't tell me. Second off I'm a little upset, I already have a wedding to photograph on her "new" date. I have no idea what to do or say now?? Do I cancel the wedding I already have booked and be out a couple thousand bucks?

megs042107 · July 2009

when she tells you (assuming she will at some point) that she's moved her date, tell her you have a job scheduled.

she doesn't sound like she's one of your closest friends and if i were you, i'd rather make money for a weekend than be out $1000 for all the bridesmaid crapola you're going to have to buy.?

nick&nikki · July 2009

Honestly I would keep the wedding job. That is your business and it is not your fault she changed the date without telling you. She asked you to be a BM and I don't understand how she could make a decision like that w/out informing a person in the wedding party.

LTGirl · July 2009

Yeah, I'm with Megs.

Sunny1inTucson · July 2009

It doesn't sound like she's left you out necessarily since she's made no formal announcement other than responding to a comment on FB.

The ball would be in your court at this point if she did change the date.

Maybe the times will work out (i.e., one is noon and the other is evening?).

Or you can be out $$$. Really depends on how much you value her friendship and wanting to be at her wedding. Your call! You have a valid excuse either way.

naturelle25 · July 2009

I would keep the wedding job.

EastCoastBride · July 2009

Well, when did she ask you? When's her wedding? When did you read this FB blurb?

I ask because she may plan on telling you but just hasn't gotten around to it. While she needs to realize that her wedding isn't the center of everyone elses world, your life and plans arent' the center of her world either.

I'm not saying that to be snarky. I just mean that she has a lot going on and it may not have occurred to her that "Oh, wait, I really need to let all the key players know.".

You've seen it on FB - my advice is to 1- decide what you want to do, and 2- contact her and say "Hey- I saw your comment on FB. I wanted to touch base w/ you ASAP about that because I need to confirm if that's correct because as of right now- I have another wedding that weekend.".

No harm in saying that! But just be matter of fact about it. Not angry.

meggiekins · July 2009

Ask her, for confirmation.

If it is moved up, I would explain that you have a job that weekend, and will not be able to be in her wedding. It would be really unprofessional to cancel the wedding you agreed to photograph for anything less than an emergency. Also, you said yourself you're not that close. It isn't like she is your sister or best friend or something,

*LrCg* · July 2009

I agree with PP, I was in a wedding and the bride kept changing the date. I canceled vacations only to find out it was changed again. It was so frustrating. I respect the fact that the bride and groom choose their date but I think when you start changing it you should check with the other people you have involved. Especially you since she obviously knows your job so you work weekends.

msabol2077 · July 2009

No I would def not cancel the wedding your going to photograph. I would just nicely tell her when she says the date was changed that your sorry but you have a wedding that day already. She cannot get upset with you for 1. your not that close of friends and 2. she hasn't even told you the date was changed. Did you already buy your dress for the wedding? If not even better your not out of any money.

August112007 · July 2009

Keep the wedding job and send her a nice gift.

emiliemadison · July 2009

How awkward.... Honestly, I'd probably give her a call and mention that you saw that the date had changed and that you are working that weekend and that you're really sorry, but you wont be able to make it. I wouldnt cancel your shoot for her- she sounds more like a casual acquaintance now.

DG1 · July 2009

megs042107:
when she tells you (assuming she will at some point) that she's moved her date, tell her you have a job scheduled.
she doesn't sound like she's one of your closest friends and if i were you, i'd rather make money for a weekend than be out $1000 for all the bridesmaid crapola you're going to have to buy.

This, exactly.

mrs.baum · July 2009

When she tells you that she moved the date, I would tell her that you already booked a wedding that weekend. If she gets mad at you, then I would politely tell her that if she had checked w/you first then the two of you could have worked something out, but you've already committed yourself.

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