how old is too old

kat.in.the.hat · July 2009

for you to have a baby? What's your personal age cut off?

I know we've done this a couple of times before, but now there are a lot of moms with two and I wonder if having two has made them lower their age limit and say they're done sooner than they thought they would be.

And, do you think the younger you are, the easier it is to chase after the kids? I hear that a lot, I want to be a young mom so I have energy etc.

Last part, over what age does your OB consider you to be high risk?

AggieDee · July 2009

32 was/is my cutoff. I will be 2 months shy of 32 when DD is born.

I think my ob considers 35+ high risk.

LisaK2b · July 2009

For me, my cut off is 35.

I don't think age has to do with the energy that you have to chase your kids around. I think it has to do with lifestyle and your fitness. I know some ladies that are well in their 40's with way more energy than me! However, I will admit that I had a lot more energy when I was 25 than I do now at almost 31.

I'm already considered high risk. And so it's not an age thing for me at this point.

CareBear01 · July 2009

I guess since I only want 2 kids and I already had one, I will be done before 35. However, I think it all depends on your own perspective. I think I would say in my sito, *my* cutoff would be 35-40. However, if I was just married at age 35 or 40 and still wanted kids, I would have them after that (if I felt up to the challenge! lol).

SigmundsGirl · July 2009

Well, I will be 35 when I deliver our first and we want two kids. I guess it depends on how long it takes us to conceive #2. I hope to have #2 by 37 - 38.

jen5-03 · July 2009

If you'd asked me in college, I would have said absolutely I'd be done by 30. I felt my mom as an "old mom" and she was 28 when she had me.

But I was almost 28 when I got married... and then had fertility issues.... and I was just shy of 33 when DD was born and #2 is arriving while I'm 35.

So my cut-iff is probably 35. Or rather, DH and I will not be shelling out $$$$ to get pg again. If by some miracle it just happened naturally I'd be thrilled, even if I was 40.

I think I have more "energy" than my mom did at my age. But I think that has more to do with personality than actual energy levels. Basically my mom was a crotchety old grump at 30 (and anyone who's met my mom would readily agree with this!)

My OBs have never said anything about my age. But it's not like I asked their permission to get pg and it's not going to do any good telling me about it after the fact. Based on the questions I got asked at the hospital last time, I believe that 35 is considered "advanced maternal age".

KelleyA · July 2009

Since DH and I married young I would say that my cut off now is 35. If I had married when I was 30-35 it would have been 40.

nvp05 · July 2009

My cut-off is 35. I had Rena right when I turned 30 and hope to be preggo with #2 at 33-34.

I think energy levels just depend on the particular person. I'm sure there are plenty of 25 year old moms who don't have high energy and 40+ moms who do.

My gyno considers 35+ to be high risk.

ucalum93 · July 2009

I always thought I'd have 2 before 30, hands down. Having had my first at just shy of 37, the game has clearly changed.

I think the day to day would have been easier for me when I was a bit younger. It also makes it harder that you become more set in your ways. DH and I would jet off all the time to vacation or visit friends at a moments notice. This has been a big adjustment after so long to go from single people, then DINKs (dual income no kids) to one income with a kid. Our lives are different on every level possible. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but it was a tougher transition than I thought it would be.

My OB is more of a case by case md. She never managed my pregnancy as high risk JUST because I was 37. At least I never felt that she did.

CareBear01 · July 2009

jen5/03:

If you'd asked me in college, I would have said absolutely I'd be done by 30. I felt my mom as an "old mom" and she was 28 when she had me.

This is EXACTLY how I felt! Same thing - my mom was 28 and I felt like all the younger moms were more involved.

I ended up having DS when I was 29, yet I feel like it was "early". I couldn't imagine having kids any younger, but I fear that he will think of me as an "old" mom when he grows up.

I think it is really more about attitude/personality than age, so maybe I can break the stigma! lol.

CareBear01 · July 2009

ucalum93:

I always thought I'd have 2 before 30, hands down. Having had my first at just shy of 37, the game has clearly changed.

I think the day to day would have been easier for me when I was a bit younger. It also makes it harder that you become more set in your ways. DH and I would jet off all the time to vacation or visit friends at a moments notice. This has been a big adjustment after so long to go from single people, then DINKs (dual income no kids) to one income with a kid. Our lives are different on every level possible. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but it was a tougher transition than I thought it would be.

My OB is more of a case by case md. She never managed my pregnancy as high risk JUST because I was 37. At least I never felt that she did.

LOL - we used to call ourselves DINKs all the time (before DS).

savannah11 · July 2009

28.....but only because that's my current age and we are not having any more kids.

Though if you'd asked me this question 4 years ago I would have said I wanted to wait until I was at least 30, if at all. Funny how life happens.

TexasSmith · July 2009

I personally don't really have a cut off. I am young though (25), so I will surely be done with having kids before I'd approach an age I'd consider "too old." DH is 7 years older than I am, so he doesn't want to wait forever to have however many more we're going to have. That "moving to NJ" ticker in my sig is also counting down to when we start TTC again. Yikes.

mom2ll · July 2009

I'm 33 and we are done.. I don't think I'm too old to have another baby... I just think that 2 babies in 14.5 months is plenty.... I can't imagine chasing them and being pg again... It was really hard chasing Luca while pg... I didn't get the opportunity to get back into shape and it really wore on me.. I'm ready to get my body back and have a breast reduction and get on with life....

We have several friends that have had their first baby at 40-43. They are all happy and healthy. DH was 40 when our first was born...

My doc considers 35+ high risk

melissa0312 · July 2009

i was high risk with dd and she was born about 3 weeks after i turned 30. given how hard pregnancy was on me physically my cut off is 32.

i just turned 31 on monday.

lilycat · July 2009

35 is high risk. If you are even a day over 35 and give birth, you are Advanced Maternal Age. (I remember it well.)

So apparently I like being high risk. I'm 37 going on 38 - this time before my birthday so ha, ha statistics. I am thwarting you by one whole week!

houstonkdw · July 2009

35. Not really for health reasons but more for personal reasons. I don't want to be 55+ years old when I finally get all of the kiddos out of the house

I also want to live as long as possible and be there for them.

charlotteL · July 2009

I think 35 would be my cut off but my mom had me at 35 and my brother at 37. That said, if we had a baby at 35 Joshua would be almost 9 and Gabriel 7. I really don't want them spread out that far.

35 is advanced maternal age. Not sure how exactly different my doc treats patients over 35.

rayskit10 · July 2009

my cut off is 40. like some PP, it has nothing to do with health or risk. i just want to have what i have before that age. after 2 c-secs, i may not have any more biological children but that is not related to age.

i think i had more energy when i was younger, sure. to stay out partying all night. i don't think i would have been a better parent in any way shape or form just because i was younger. my mom had me at 19 and it was never was never easy for her. i have it way easier.

35 is high risk, but i was not treated as a high risk patient by my ob.

KKMMex · July 2009

45 would be my cut-off. Stick out tongue

Having two is definitely more taxing than just having one, but isn't it hard taking care of small children at any age?

My OB never even mentioned my age and in fact told me she thought I could easily have another child if I wanted, God bless her!

BritanyV · July 2009

Well I originally wanted to be done when I turned 30, well that's in 6 months and I just had #1 last year...sooooooooo...I'm thinking 33-35 is my cut off. I'm hoping to TTC next year, but we aren't really sure if we are having 2 or 3 or how many kids, just yet.

darva · July 2009

35 is my stopping point.

I was high-risk during my first pregnancy (due to GD, although controlled with diet, so I never did anything different than any other pregnant woman) and I was 21 when I had her. With my second, I was just shy of 29. Not my ideal age spacing, but that's how the dice rolled. Now, being 31 while pregnant with number 3... It's seriously taking a toll on me. (although... I think a lot of this is just that I currently have way more stress than I used to) My doc has no issues with me having 3 c-sections... and we've actually discussed the possibility of one more (when he brought up possibly having a tubal while I'm open this time), but he's pretty much said after that, he wouldn't recommend anymore.

If we find out this one is a boy, we're done. If this one is a girl... we're likely done but we might discuss one more in a couple of years. (If you ask DH, he'll tell you we're done either way because he can't handle another pregnant me. hehe )

RaeAnt · July 2009

35 is when you get pegged with the high-risk label. I'll be 36 when I have our first one. I'd still like a second and will hopefully have it by 40 at the lastest.

This might be something to ask on the Pregnant after 35 board or TTC after 35 if you are worried about issues concerning conceiveing later on and if older ladies really do have more issues. They are pretty nice over there and generally try to answer you honestly.

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