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do you nurse your LO(s) to sleep? do you think it's a "bad habit"?
i nurse my twins to sleep every night... it's part of our bedtime routine: bath e/o night, massage, swaddle, nurse while i tell them a story and sing our two lullabies, then continuing to nurse in silence for maybe 20 min or so at which point they are sound asleep... then i put them in the cosleeper and they are down for the count (usually). DS has been sleeping 8-11 hours straight, usually 8-9, and DD sleeps anywhere from 5-8.5 before waking to nurse.
i love this routine, it's working for us now, and it feels very natural. but my pedi suggested putting them down semi-awake starting soon, and i've read that in numerous places. a lot of people seem to think nursing to sleep is a bad habit that will make LOs dependant on sucking in order to fall asleep... which sounds to me like that means it wouldn't be such a problem until they wean, which i certainly have no intention of doing until they are ready.
thoughts? what do you do?
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Re: do you nurse your LO(s) to sleep? do you think it's a "bad habit"?
I am nursing my THIRD child to sleep. Some people think it's a bad habit, but there are so many "bad habits" out there, that you have to pick and choose what works for you.
I had no trouble when I weaned my kids putting them to bed without nursing them. The girls were just fine with it. Hopefully DS will be fine too.
GL!
I don't think it's a bad habit. In fact, I think it's pretty normal.
If you love your routine, and it works for you and your babies, then why change it?!
I have been nursing DD to sleep for 10 months now and it has been working just fine for us. I don't view it as making her dependent at all. It is what has come instinctually and naturally in our case.
Kuddos to you BTW for nursing your two babies!
Until the last few weeks DD always nursed to sleep. A few rare times she would go to sleep with daddy rocking her when I was too tired, but for the most part she always nursed to sleep. Something switched and we're now nursing right before bed and going into her crib awake. Some nights I wish she'd still nurse to sleep!!!
The other problem is that if a baby always nurses to sleep, it makes it hard to be away from them because they are dependent on nursing to sleep. Like I said, my husband was able to successfully rock her to sleep with a paci several times.
I nurse my son to sleep every night. (Our routine: bath, story with Daddy, nursing, bed.) It's a nice end to the day for both of us. At this point, it's the most regular, predictable part of his day, and I'm OK with that. In fact, I like nursing right before bed because that means I don't have to pump to prevent massive engorgement over night.
His routine will change over the coming year, and we may decide not to nurse before bed. I'm not worried about it.
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If it were such a bad thing, I don't think mother nature would have made nursing so sleep inducing. I will say the downside can be that you may end up the only one who can put kiddo to sleep. Callum will go to sleep being worn as well, but even so DH sometimes has a hard time getting him down.
I actually just nursed him to sleep - he just gave me a few smiles in his sleep. To me that means he drifted off to sleep peacefully which is exactly what I want for him every night.
They will grow out of it one day; in the meantime, I love how peaceful it is.
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I do sometimes, but try not to before bed. The reason why is because he is still waking up 2-3 times at night. I've read that if you nurse them to sleep every time they wake up they will need to be nursed to go back down instead of self-soothing. I now try to put him down drowsy but awake. He's still waking up all those times and needing to be nursed but I hope some day that will go away and he will actually STTN!
Oh, and also...if we're out or something I want him to be able to fall asleep without me.
I think one of the other problems that can occur is that babies naturally awaken during the night when shifting through stages of sleep the same way adults do, if they need to nurse to get back to sleep they won't just drift off to sleep again and it can fragment their sleep (and yours b/c you're the one who has to feed them).
I used to nurse my 6 month old to sleep but every since she was around 4 months she stopped falling alseep while nursing so I end up rocking her a little and putting her down drowsy.
I guess it's only a problem if you have a problem with your child depending on you. I figure that that is what I am here for, that is why I carried the baby for nine months, that is how nature designed us (breastmilk not only induces the hormone relaxin to be released in a nursing mother's body, but it also releases into the breastmilk to ENCOURAGE the baby to sleep--it's how they're made!). Nature (or God, whichever) also made it so that babies latch off, even in their sleep, if you let them, when they have had enough. I believe strongly that I am with the baby to take care of the baby. I want my children to know that I am here for them, whenever they need me, for as long as they need me.
There have been many studies done that actually show that babies whose needs are met this way have a higher emotional intelligence and are actually better able to separate from their parents when they are mature and are supposed to separate. Infancy and early toddler hood are not that point. So, yes, I nurse to sleep, and am happy to do it for as long as the baby needs to. My first stopped nursing to go to sleep at around 12 mos...one night she nursed, patted me, rolled over and went to sleep on her own. My second nursed to sleep until he was about 15 mos. same thing when he decided to be done, he just rolled over and went to sleep. However with him, he didn't NEED me to put him to sleep. My husband was sick in the hospital for several weeks when my son was a young infant, and my mother put him to bed after I nursed him late at the hospital every night. He was okay with that, too...but preferred to nurse to sleep.
I guess it's all about where your beliefs are. If you believe that children are designed to be dependant (which it is basically irrefutable anthropologically) from neonates through older children, then you understand that they will need you for some time, but that will end, and then they won't so much. Its such a short period of time!
I've always nursed DS to sleep but in the last month or more, he has stopped falling asleep as often while nursing. In those cases we will put him in his crib to see if he can fall asleep on his own and he often does. If not, we assist him any way necessary (nursing, paci, lovey, bum pats, tummy rubs, rocking, whatever). I think nursing to sleep is a beautiful thing.
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Honestly, IMO, if it's not a problem for you and your DH and your babies, it's not a problem.
I sort of nurse to sleep at bedtime -- we nurse until she's groggy, but then we go back into her room and rock and sing a song and then put her down. I nurse to sleep for naps, and that's not so good because then I'm the only one who can get her to nap. But I don't know how to fix it.
I nurse to sleep every night and for his one nap - DS is almost 20 months.
I would say that if something is working for you don't change it. If its not working then go ahead and tweak it but why fiddle wtih something that works so well?
Also, I can't bring myself to consider nursing a bad habit in any circumstance. I love that time with DS and I love that he still is interested in nursing.
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I always tell girlfriends - you do what works for you as long as it works for you. If something is making you lose your mind, so frustrated you begin to resent your child, feel like a bad mom, or otherwise wouldn't feel stretched so thin if you weren't doing it - then discontinue. It doesn't sound like you're having a hard time with the routine.
In the event you feel otherwise, you may find changing things a bit of a challenge, but ANY new change in routine takes adjustment. If you "get there" I'd suggest trying changing just one thing at a time - in phases - a process. That will go over way more smoothly than just COLD TURKEY.
Good luck to you! You seem like you're really enjoying the experience!!
My DD is the same way. I don't think that there is anything wrong with it. There are sometimes during the day where she is semi awake and semi asleep and I will try to put her down then, but for the most part she falls asleep while feeding.
Most of the time my son nurses to sleep, but on occasion he is still awake so i put him in the crib. he usually only cries for a little a couple minutes. BUT! he always wakes up 4-5 hours later to get in our bed. this i think will be a hard habit to break when i decide to wean him.