Crib/sleeping issues...advice please!

maunday1228 · July 2009

So i have a 5 week old and he constantly fusses and eventually cries when you put him in his crib. Even if he's asleep and you carefully set him in his crib, he will wake up within 30 mins for sure. Lately he falls right asleep of we lay him on a regular bed pillow on the couch, we don't even touch him! My mom says that we are spoiling him, but i know it's not that he needs to be held bc we dont hold him all the time. I let him fuss for about 30-45 mins in his crib, or if he's crying i'll only let him cry for 20 mins...help please!!! any suggestions? am i the only one who's nervous that they will be sleeping on their couch for the next year?! :O

FD · July 2009

ummm, you let your 5 wk old cry for 20 mins before picking him up? Please tell me I read that wrong.

silver2983 · July 2009

DD loves sleeping on the couch with me. She's not a big fan of the crib. It takes at least an hour (usually 2) to get her to go to sleep in the crib, and I think that's because she wears herself out fussing about it. You can't spoil your baby this early. I did get tired of spending every single night on the couch. I'm just hoping that she gets more used to sleeping in her crib soon.

kklickka · July 2009

Have you tried using a sleep positioner in his crib? I know DS sleeps much better since we got one - I think it makes him feel a little more secure, which might be why your LO likes the pillow...it probably cradles him a little more than the crib mattress does. Positioners aren't expensive if you want to try it out - I recommend getting one with a little piece of foam on the bottom to keep them from sliding down - we got ours at Target.

maunday1228 · July 2009

thanks for the idea about the sleep positioner...i think i will try that! and yes i do let him cry/fuss for 20 mins. fussing only 30-45 and crying-fussing 20 mins. plus when i let him cry i know that he was just fed a big bottle and has a clean diaper. he stops crying as soon as i go in his nursery, it wont hurt him to cry a little bit.

nuttybunch · July 2009

It's recommended that you don't let your LO cry without picking him/her up or giving attention until at least 3-4 months. They say that babies younger than that cry because they're scared or uncomfortable in some way. They need to know that if they need you, you'll come. They take about 3-4 months to develop that level of trust in you. After 4 months old, they've learned that you'll come running whenever they want, so they'll work the system and cry more often for no reason.

Please stop letting your LO cry for 20 minutes! Fussing is no problem. Crying means they need you. After being on the inside for 40 weeks, they're scared sometimes and need to know they can trust you.

That being said, does swaddling help? Try using a Swaddle Me (I got mine at BRU). Also, he might be congested or have gas. DS was congested and didn't like his crib because he was flat. The mucus couldn't run out (or back in) because he wasn't at an angle. We had him sleep in his bouncy chair because it was on an incline.

tmp-493670500007520 · July 2009

nuttybunch:

It's recommended that you don't let your LO cry without picking him/her up or giving attention until at least 3-4 months. They say that babies younger than that cry because they're scared or uncomfortable in some way. They need to know that if they need you, you'll come. They take about 3-4 months to develop that level of trust in you. After 4 months old, they've learned that you'll come running whenever they want, so they'll work the system and cry more often for no reason.

Please stop letting your LO cry for 20 minutes! Fussing is no problem. Crying means they need you. After being on the inside for 40 weeks, they're scared sometimes and need to know they can trust you.

That being said, does swaddling help? Try using a Swaddle Me (I got mine at BRU). Also, he might be congested or have gas. DS was congested and didn't like his crib because he was flat. The mucus couldn't run out (or back in) because he wasn't at an angle. We had him sleep in his bouncy chair because it was on an incline.

ALL of this. PLEASE. TOOO YOUNG!

arkabee · July 2009

In regards to your original question, if your baby sleeps fine on the couch, I'd let him do it that way for now. We used to let DS sleep in the middle of our bed for his naps because that's where he would fall asleep. And now at just about three months, he is sleeping fine in his crib. You just manage however you can in the early weeks.

As far as the fussing and crying, everyone has their own opinion on how much time is ok. I've seen everything from "pick them up immediately" to "its ok if they cry for 30-45 minutes." You can decide what's best for you and your baby.

gremaud07 · July 2009

I agree with the ladies you can't let your little one cry for that long of a period..

They don't know how to self soothe and they cry bc something is not right or they are scared... Please stop letting your LO cry for that long...

Second of all I do recommend either swaddling or sleep positioner to help them sleep.. My DS hated the swaddling but loved his sleep positioner when he was younger. He know sleeps without one since he out grew it.

CdnBabyG · July 2009

As far as the letting cry for 20 minutes..there are tons of professional opinions (meaning doctors and therapists) that all have differences on when you should let a aby cry.

I feel that it is really inappropriate for people to make blanket judgements (not statements) about what "they" think is the correct solution.

How about you answer her questions instead of judging her. She probably feels really bad about her desicions and she may second guessing her parenting.

Unless you have personally conducted extensive long term research yourself and read countless journals and studies, you really have no scientific basis to your statement.

Good luck with the crib/sleeping issue! You are doing a great job!

kerivp · July 2009

MegMD:
nuttybunch:

It's recommended that you don't let your LO cry without picking him/her up or giving attention until at least 3-4 months. They say that babies younger than that cry because they're scared or uncomfortable in some way. They need to know that if they need you, you'll come. They take about 3-4 months to develop that level of trust in you. After 4 months old, they've learned that you'll come running whenever they want, so they'll work the system and cry more often for no reason.

Please stop letting your LO cry for 20 minutes! Fussing is no problem. Crying means they need you. After being on the inside for 40 weeks, they're scared sometimes and need to know they can trust you.

That being said, does swaddling help? Try using a Swaddle Me (I got mine at BRU). Also, he might be congested or have gas. DS was congested and didn't like his crib because he was flat. The mucus couldn't run out (or back in) because he wasn't at an angle. We had him sleep in his bouncy chair because it was on an incline.

ALL of this. PLEASE. TOOO YOUNG!

Agree! I have a 6 week old and I only let him cry 3-5 minutes when I know he's super super overtired and will fall right asleep. And I feel like crying the whole time. 20 minutes - yikes!!!

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Crib/sleeping issues...advice please!

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