Is anyone's DH NOT staying overnight at the hospital with you?

amhough · July 2009

DH and I were talking last night, b/c I've started making lists of things for my hospital bag, and he said that he doesn't want to spend the night at the hospital after I have the baby.

I had just assumed he would stay, but as we talked about it, he pointed out that if he comes home and sleeps then at least one of us will be semi-well rested the next day when we bring the baby home. If he stays at the hospital then neither one of us will get much sleep and we'll come home and both be exhausted. If he is well rested then at least I can try to nap or whatever when I don't need to be feeding the baby the first day or so, and he can be up during the day.

I hadn't considered this before, but after talking about it, I think it makes a lot of sense for both of us. I was just curious if anyone else's DH is going home at night.

CalinsBride · July 2009

What you're saying sounds practical, but there is just no way that he is going to miss the his baby's first night in the world.

prettyshoes · July 2009

We already have a toddler at home and even though there will be extra family here, DD will do much better if her dad is home at night. So unless I have huge complications from my section, DH will be sleeping at home. Which is fine by me cause he snores really loud.

yale · July 2009

Nope. He is staying (and we live close). We're going to experience this together.

jenna0627 · July 2009

We only live about 3 blocks from the hospital. I don't mind DH going home to shower and what not, but he is staying even if we can practically see our house LOL.

LoveEeyore · July 2009

DH didn't with DD and that was very fine with me. THose days in the hospital were the best sleep I had in months, and if his snoring butt had been there I would have beat him with the nurse call remote button. It seemed really silly to me that he would stay and be uncomfortable. THis time we won't stay b/c of DD.

Mrs_mam · July 2009

Nope, DH is staying the whole time because he wants to. We both have to learn everything we possibly can and the easiest way to do that is to be able to ask the nurses and watch while we are in the hospital. I don't mind if he leaves for a few hours here and there, but he doesn't want to so that's fine with me.

MattysGirl81 · July 2009

We're playing it by ear and seeing how things go. ?We live less than a mile from the hospital, so he could be there in less than 5 minutes if, God forbid, something were to happen and I needed him. ?

I'm not of the thought that "because I just gave birth and am uncomfortable, DH should be uncomfortable too." ?I don't really understand how that is beneficial for anyone. ?The chair that morphs into a bed really doesn't look very nice to sleep on. ?I'd rather deal with a happy, nice DH, so if he can go home and get a good nights sleep it would probably benefit both of us. ?But we'll see how things go.

jensahokie · July 2009

What you are saying is practical, but what's practical about having a baby? Maybe I'll feel differently if we can have another one, but DH is staying with me. No question. I already packed an extra flat sheet, blanket and pillow for him (they have some weird recliner for dads). The good thing is that my DH can sleep anywhere. He gets on a plane and sleeps through take off!

maddmask · July 2009

Nope. We live close to the hospital, but DH doesn't want to miss out.

SAMANTHAGP · July 2009

I'm not sure exactly how this will work out yet, but the L&D RN that did our tour said it is beneficial for the SO to go home and sleep.

One rested person in the home is very helpful to a woman who has just given birth...

Cara2 · July 2009

That does sound practical but DH insists on being at the hospital with me and baby and I can't imagine otherwise. I'm sure it's going to be overwhelming being that it's new and we want to share the experience together.

Heather&Carl · July 2009

That is actually a really good idea, but there is no way I can sleep with my DH not being there. I am already thinking that I am going to try to make him some how snuggle up with me in bed, probably won't happen though!

Blackvelvet · July 2009

I'm not sharing a double bed after giving birth he can go home and sleep. He is on a messed up schedual though since he works 6pm-6am so he will probibly be there late in the evening then come back to get me the next afternoon.

Chrysallys · July 2009

My DH stayed at the hospital the whole time. He slept fine and was rarely woken up by the nurses, even at 4 am. Besides we are in this together and can be tired together.

MrsL1012 · July 2009

My DH will be home for the night - I'd rather he get some rest and shower and whatnot than spend an uncomfortable night unnecessarily. Also, while other people have offered to take care of our dog, I think it will be better for his well being, too if BOTH of us are not missing - he has a bit of separation anxiety.

Plus, DH has to bring me back some goodies that I haven't been able to eat b/c of the stupid GD!

LizBusch · July 2009

hmm, we haven't even thought about it. i have a sneaking suspicion, though, that if i ask him if he plans on staying the night, he'll give me a weird look and say "of course i am. why wouldn't i?"

mamaofliam · July 2009

He will stay with me the whole time of the labor but will probably need to go home to look after our 2 yr old DS once LO is born.

He did stay at the hospital when our 2 yr old was born though since he was our first. We were both tired, but it worked out fine.

zoieglow · July 2009

He says he wants to stay but I'd rather he go home and sleep. He is going back to work right after the baby is born until I'm out of the hospital. I don't want him staying up all night and then going to work if he doesn't have to. We'll both sleep better if he goes home.

sophie888 · July 2009

I can see your logic. However, we made this baby together, we're going to go through this together. Since I'm have a C, I'll be in the hospital multiple night. DH will stay the first night and then sleep at home the rest of the nights. That first night though, I'm going to want him there.

ilovemygirls · July 2009

My DH stayed when we had our first DD & he slept SO horribly. Since I was bf'ing & the RN's were helping me out with that as needed, there was honestly no need for him to be there overnight & completely uncomfortable.

The second time around he stayed home overnight w/DD#1 & then my folks watched her during the day because we own a business, it was his busy season & he had to go right back to work. I was only there for a couple of days & he visited daily, but it was what it had to be. I think it's a grand idea for your DH to sleep at home & be well rested if you are both comfortable with that. Don't let yourselves feel judged by that choice. He doesn't love you or the baby less, and it seems as though he is doing it so he can be there for you even more when you come home. If it feels right, do it!

pillowbling · July 2009

No overnight guests allowed at my hospital because there aren't private rooms. At our childbirth class they did say it works out well because atleast the DHs are rested.

Earlier in my pregnancy I was hospitalized at a different hospital in a private room and I still had DH go home to sleep. At least this time I will have LO by my side!!!

penguingrrl · July 2009

DH won't be staying with me, but not by either of our choice. Our hospital only has semi private rooms, so he's not allowed to stay. I'm VERY upset that they're separating him from us, especially since last time he was the one who always got the baby from the basinett for feedings since I couldn't safely get her and get back into bed post C-section. Now when the baby is crying I'll have to wait for a nurse to get there to hand her to me and risk waking up my roommate and her baby while waiting. Plus, I think it's a rather intimate time to be stuck with a stranger in your room, but I chose the hospital for it's medical reputation not its amenities (it's one of the top rated hospitals in the country).

Blueyedgrl · July 2009

My DH is not staying with me, there are things at home that he needs to tend to like the dog and our DD...its not a big deal to me he will be there as soon as he gets up, and the baby will be sleeping and eating, and so will I..

collinjenn · July 2009

CalinsBride:

What you're saying sounds practical, but there is just no way that he is going to miss the his baby's first night in the world.

This. He said he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. The hospital does provide him with his own twin bed, so that helps.

katie_cj · July 2009

I honestly don't know what I would of done without FI there with me. Especially the first night. DS was born at 7:01 pm, so I was still very sore that first night. It was really hard for me to get out of bed on my own and I didn't feel comfortable picking up DS and bringing him back to bed with me on my own until the second day. FI changed all the first diapers and brought him to me to be fed. I would of been ok the second night without him, but no way on the first night. At my hospital, the babies stay with the mothers in the room all the time. The first time DS left the hospital room was to go home.

JennifernKevin4ever · July 2009

I would like him to go home and stay the night. We have two little dogs and I don't want them to have to be their by themselves. I know they will be all day do to labor, but I would like FI to go home to be with them. He doesn't want to leave us the first night though. So we are going to have someone dogsitters while we are having the baby. I wish he would go home though. He would get better sleep that way.

Bluemar · July 2009

yale:
Nope. He is staying (and we live close). We're going to experience this together.

Yes

Delila80 · July 2009

CalinsBride:

What you're saying sounds practical, but there is just no way that he is going to miss the his baby's first night in the world.

Ditto. Plus, the hospital that we're delivering at just revamped their birthing units. They actually call them suits now. After I deliver, the bed I'll be in is a queen size bed. Plus there's a pull out couch. So DH has a couple options. I think he'd be too nervous and anxious to sleep if he wasn't with me anyways.

aroberts7106 · July 2009

I don't think our hospital allows anyone else to stay over night....so DH will probably go home to sleep. We'll see though...I could be wrong about the hospital policy!

mediadiva · July 2009

I bet he stays, don't stress it and if anything just say you will play it by ear. DH was there BOTH nights, he wanted to be near the baby and be there for me. I had pircoset the first night and OMG I had the nightmare from hell it was so horrific I can not repeat it and I sobbed and he held me at like 2am. My sister had?recommended?I take?advantage?of the nursery and have the baby go for a few hours one night and get some rest, would have been fine except for the freakin awful meds. NEVER will touch that crap again. Anyway, DH will be there with me, but this time I may WANT him to be at home with DD so I may send him home for that reason, but more likely durring the day then the night. We don't have a plan but he'll stay if I need/want him too.

julia&jared · July 2009

yale:
Nope. He is staying (and we live close). We're going to experience this together.

This

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