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WWYD?? SIL still hasn't given back our stroller....

GratefulGreensGratefulGreens
in 2nd Trimester

When I was pregnant w/ DD, we registered for - and received - a very nice Graco Travelsystem.  It's gender neutral and we liked it fine. 

Fast forward to about a year ago:  My SIL had her 2nd child (and last - her DH got "the snip") and we lent her the travel system.  She's sooooo in love w/ it - especially the stroller.  Her DD is now 1 and has outgrown the carseat, so she's given it back to us.  But she still has the stroller.  We loaned her a TON of stuff, all of which she has given back except for that one thing.  I had even asked for it back a while ago so a friend of mine could use it.  Never happened.  She has another stroller, she just likes ours.

My DH wants to  just GIVE her the stroller.  We really can't afford to buy a brand new travel system, let alone a new stroller that will go w/ the car seat.  I think he's wanting to register for a whole new travel system (he keeps looking at them in the stores).  I personally figure if she wants to keep it, she should at least pay us something for it.  It was REALLY expensive and it was a gift from my Grandmother.

So do you think we should:

a) Continue to pester SIL to give back the stroller, knowing that she doesn't really want to give it up.

b) Let her keep it for nothing and sell the carseat on CL and register for a new one.

c) Offer to let her keep the stroller, but ask her to at least pay us for it. (I've gotta say though, I don't know how on Earth I'd have the balls to ask her to pay for it...)

If anyone has any ideas, it would be SO helpful!

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Re: WWYD?? SIL still hasn't given back our stroller....

  • easjer05easjer05 member

    A with the caveat that you don't really the stroller back for several more months, so there isn't a huge rush.  When it next comes up, I'd simply say that you need it back by X date (after 36 weeks) and 'badger' her after that point.

    Assuming the carseat is still safe to use.  If it's too old, then I'd just get a new one.


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  • Jen&LouieJen&Louie member
    Since you lent it to her and it was not a gift, I would speak with her now and ask her to return it on _____ (fill in the date/week), about a month before you are due so you have time to give it a good cleaning.  That will give her plenty of time to buy another for herself or get used to using her other stroller.
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  • ellemoney:)ellemoney:) member

    i think a. ?you should tell her that while you're happy to let her use it up until the time that your lo arrives, you're not going to have enough money to buy a new stroller and you'll need that one back.?

    it's not fair to you for her to just keep the stroller. especially when she has another and she just likes your better. ?

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  • Nicole731Nicole731 member
    Tell her ahead of time you will be needing it for new baby. A few weeks before baby's arrival let her know you will be by to pick it up on X day at X time. It's yours. There should be no choice in the matter.
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  • jrnewhookjrnewhook
    Don't perster her, just TELL HER in no uncertain terms that you will be coming to pick up your stroller at a certain time/ date. It is a gift from your grandmother and it belongs to you, not her.
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  • DiscusCoachDiscusCoach
    I would set a date by which you NEED the stroller back. Talk to her about it and set a date that works for both of you. If that date passes then move on to one of the other plans.
    Technically you don't NEED it for a little while which might be why she feels this is a gray space.
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  • getnmarried910getnmarried910 member

    A.  You didn't "give" it to her, so she should give it back, though I think you should give her a date you need it by.  Next time your at their house, you can always just go and get it and say your taking it home if she doesn't want to cooperate.

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  • Alex17Alex17

    imagejrnewhook:
    Don't perster her, just TELL HER in no uncertain terms that you will be coming to pick up your stroller at a certain time/ date. It is a gift from your grandmother and it belongs to you, not her.

    This. She is being weird by not giving it back to you since you already asked.

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  • tak2002tak2002
    If it's DH's sister I'd make him take care of it! I think she should pay you some money or buy you a new one.
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  • smurfetteinredsmurfetteinred

    imageNicole731:
    Tell her ahead of time you will be needing it for new baby. A few weeks before baby's arrival let her know you will be by to pick it up on X day at X time. It's yours. There should be no choice in the matter.

    ^^This. It's not hers, it's yours and you should not be forced to shell out money for a new one when yours hasn't been returned by someone else. I'd let her use it for awhile longer but let her know that you'll be picking it up closer to your due date and then do it. Letting her know that you can't afford to buy a new one should also help to lay down the guilt and make it easier to get it back from her. 

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  • imaPrincessimaPrincess
    imageellemoney:):

    i think a.  you should tell her that while you're happy to let her use it up until the time that your lo arrives, you're not going to have enough money to buy a new stroller and you'll need that one back. 

    it's not fair to you for her to just keep the stroller. especially when she has another and she just likes your better.  

    Yes  my thoughts exactly.  It's yours, if she likes it that much tell her where you purchased it at and she can go get a new one, it's not fair that she just gets to keep it b/c she likes it better than her other one.  If you have the money to buy a new one and wanted to, then that would be a different story, but since you would like your stroller back she should hand it over.  You have been kind enough to let her borrow it, she shouldn't be greedy.

    Just make sure that the car seat is still safe to use.

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  • LovingLife!LovingLife! member

    Shoot...I think everyone on here is too nice!

    I'd pull a ninja operation and take back what is mine! You've asked for it multiple times, time to take matters into your own hands :)?

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  • GratefulGreensGratefulGreens

    imagetak2002:
    If it's DH's sister I'd make him take care of it! I think she should pay you some money or buy you a new one.

    YES!  I agree HE needs to deal w/ this!  I hate confrontation....

    But ofcourse, if he DID, he'd just tell her to keep it...grr!

    Great advice ladies!!  Thank you!!

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  • GratefulGreensGratefulGreens
    imageLovingLife!:

    Shoot...I think everyone on here is too nice!

    I'd pull a ninja operation and take back what is mine! You've asked for it multiple times, time to take matters into your own hands :) 

    HAHAHAHAHA!  I just envisioned myself, dressed in black, driving over to her house at night, parking the car down the street, sneaking in.....

    LOL!

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  • camarotempresscamarotempress
    I'd in the nicest way tell her you need it back w/in X amount of time.  This way she would have the time to purchase one of her own.  Or offer to have her buy it.  It's not your responsibility to make sure she has what she needs to provide for her little one.  I realize it's your family, but unfortuantly family can tend to take advantage of other family members.  You shouldn't have to go purchase a new traveling system because she doesn't want to give it up, it's not hers. 
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  • amoureuxamoureux
    You are only 17 weeks - it isn't like you need the stroller this minute.   I would also simply tell her you will be picking up the stroller when you are 35 or so weeks.
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  • tmj2008tmj2008

    Tell her the date you would like it back.  If she doesnt give it to you, a couple days after I would stop by her place and say "hey, hows it going? just came to pick up the stroller"

     

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  • GratefulGreensGratefulGreens

    imageamoureux:
    You are only 17 weeks - it isn't like you need the stroller this minute.   I would also simply tell her you will be picking up the stroller when you are 35 or so weeks.

    True, but I've been asking for it back since before I even got pregnant.  My friend that had a baby was needing it.

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  • amoureuxamoureux
    Then give her a call and tell her you will be by this afternoon to pick it up.
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  • Heather1979Heather1979 member
    I would insist she return it by x date. It was a loan, not a gift. If I take out a loan it has to be repaid by a certain date, just as a loaned out library book has to be returned by a certain time or other arrangements need to be agreed upon. She's being a b!tch by not returning it. To let her keep it is to reinforce b!tchy behavior that will probably get repeated in the future.
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