My H travels a lot for work and the weeks he's gone I always get really anxious. I worry what would happen if something were to happen to me. Like what if I all of the sudden fell dead from a brain?aneurysm?and K was just left on his own for hours until somebody figured it out. The thought really causes me some serious anxiety. ?Really, my anxiety level just seems to be getting worse and worse lately.
Re: This always bothers me (re:anxiety)
My H travels a lot as well and I make a point of calling my mom every night just to "check in" for that reason. Tonight's conversation was all of 45 seconds but, it was my way of checking in.
She misses my call if I don't do it.
OMG me too. I can be a bit of a hypocondriac and it didn't help learning that my college roommate dropped dead from a brain aneurysm a few months ago.
There was a story in our local paper the other day about a woman walking a baby in a stroller that was hit by a car. The car swerved, missed the stroller, but struck and killed the woman. DH was reading the story to me and I was just devastated thinking about this kid growing up without a mom and with this story of his or her mom dying. I mean, really. Well, it turns out the woman walking the baby was in her 60s, so not likely the mom, which oddly made me feel better. I know that's terrible, but it's true.
Anyway, I don't get the kind of anxiety you do because my DH is always within 5 miles of home. But I am totally anxious about flying on a plane, and I tear up whenever I see something on TV or hear something in the news about kids being hurt of left on their own. I was NOT like this before I was a parent. I used to be a newspaper reporter and for a while I thought I had no heart -- I was just so immune to tragedy. No more.
I had really bad anxiety after DD was born- it was terrible. So I feel your pain. I'm taking Prozac for it (I also had PPD).
Maybe you could talk to your Dr about your anxiety.
Also, I totally get worrying about all the "what if's". Especially because my DH and I are the only family on this side of the country. I wonder if something happened to me or DH or both- how would anyone know to contact my parents in Florida.
Ugh, I know exactly how you feel. I would lie awake at night worrying about "what ifs" even before I had DS. It's even worse now. I was put on Zoloft for PPD and that helped for a few months, but I'm starting to notice it getting bad again. I have my yearly appointment with my ob/gyn next week so I'm going to bring it up with her. I'm thinking about trying Lexapro, but I think my ob will say that my anxiety is now beyond the scope of PPD and will tell me to go to a therapist (again).
Okay, I kind of babbled for a little bit there, but long story short, I know how you feel.
You're not alone. My DH leaves every Mon. and gets home late Thur. night. I have your same fears. I'm always scared I'm going to fall down the steps or slip in the shower and break my neck. I picture DS crying in is crib, hungry and scared. It wasn't so bad when I was working and my dad would come and take care of DS. Now that I'm off for the summer, I worry alot.
If you're open to therapy, and find a good therapist, the combination of that plus some short-term meds (anxiety meds shouldn't be used long-term anyways; some depression meds can help with anxiety, though) could really help. There's a form of deep breathing exercises called progressive muscle relaxation; you could check that out, too. Be better if you worked with someone who's experienced with it so you know you're doing it right, but it doesn't take long to learn and it WORKS.
If I were you, I might also try keeping a journal of the times you start having the most anxious thoughts; you said around 5 every night, so try to think about what's going on then that starts the cycle of anxiety. Plus, if you do try therapy, you could already have that documentation to take with you and I bet it would help! GL; hang in there.
p.s. I have thoughts like this occasionally too, and also have a traveling DH; I think to some extent it's totally normal to worry about this stuff.
Mine are worse. DH was going on and on about guns the other day (we don't own one) and that night I couldn't fall asleep because I kept thinking about the movie Sixth Sense and that scene where the kid ghost from the 70s walks by and turns around and theres this HUGE hole in his head from shooting himself.
I also have 'what would I do' daydreams about War of the Worlds or Day After Tomorrow scenarios happening. How would I get to DH if he was at work? What would I pack? How would I bring diapers? How would I find MORE diapers down the road while huge blood sucking robots were trying to find us????
Yeah, I'm THAT ridiculous.
The Mouse ~ 06.12.08 | The Froggy ~ 02.23.11