Views on Showers after 1st baby

SOON2BEE3 · July 2009

Okay so I'm pg with my 3rd. My son is 4 and my daughter is 2. I had showers with both of them. Do you think it's wrong to have a shower for the 3rd baby?? My grandmother swears that you don't have more than 1.

Sarah Vandehey · July 2009

I think having two is pushing it, and a third one would make people mad, especially since you have a 2 year old. If you had a brunch or gathering of friends and family for a meal to celebrate baby 3 that would be fine, but when you have two children that are young, what would people get you? And I personally would be annoyed if a friend or family member was having a third shower in 4 years, its a bit much. I am a believer that you have a shower for first child and that is it, other wise I would be going to baby showers left and right with the amount of kids that everyone has, not to mention how expensive that gets for people. One is enough.

Harms80 · July 2009

Did you keep all your stuff from the 1st kids? If not, maybe have a small "sprinkle" to honor the baby- people still like to shop for baby stuff, I just wouldn't register for anything and let them pick whatever. If you still have boy and girl stuff, you don't really need (or probably want) more baby supplies in your house. Either have a tea party with "no gifts please" to celebrate with your closest girlfriends or have a "welcome home baby" open house once the baby is here.

cannapeppers · July 2009

That's old school....I think every baby deserves a celebration...even if it is a "sprinkle" or if you want/need a few new things go ahead & register. I would not go overboard with the registry....but babies still need things....and friends & family love to buy baby stuff.

star678 · July 2009

It's exceptionally tacky to have a third shower, or even a second shower. Given the ages and genders of your children, what more could you need? I would find it really off-putting if I received an invitation of that nature. I would definitely not go nor send a gift.

In my area, the only time it's acceptable to hold a second shower is if the child is many years younger than it's older sibling (like 7+ years), or if it is the first child for the mom or the dad (for instance, if the mom had a child from a prior marriage but the dad had no children yet.)

If you want to celebrate your child, then have a "meet the baby" party after the baby is born. People might bright gifts to this but it's way less gift-grabby than a shower.

JennifernKevin4ever · July 2009

I wouldn't have a third shower. If you want to celebrate the new baby just have a small get together with close friends and family. I would put no gifts on the invites. That way you can still celebrate the new baby and not make everyone think you are being gift grabby. Also having a meet the baby party would be even better.

julia&jared · July 2009

Pretty strange. If you had one for a girl and one for a boy, why do you need another? It sounds like too much begging for things even if you dont mena it to be, it seems like it.

jes1404 · July 2009

I'm throwing my cousin a party for her third. It's no gifts, although I'm going to have a diaper cake for her. She didn't ask me about doing a party...I offered. I got married in October and she threw me an awesome lingerie shower and was an amazing bridesmaid, so I wanted to do something fun for her.

I think every baby deserves a party, but the asking for gifts for more than one child of the same sex is kind of looked upon as tacky, which is why I'm making sure to put NO GIFTS. I asked my family and they thought a little party was a great idea.

liza0828 · July 2009

I agree with your grandma.

northtamarack · July 2009

I would RSVP not able to attend. And I wouldn't send a gift.

Dr.Loretta · July 2009

Here's the thing: showers are generally to shower the mom with gifts, traditionally big gifts like the stroller, carseat, crib, etc. After you've had that first kid, you don't really need all that stuff. So it's considered kind of a waste of time, and sorta tacky (at least etiquette-wise) to have showers for any other kids.

However, there are exceptions to the rule. Maybe you're at a new job and they want to throw you one. Maybe you've moved to a new town and your new friends want to throw you one. Maybe your kids are different sexes, or are far apart in age, so you're starting over.

Another thing to consider is that the new mom isn't supposed to throw or host the shower, so if someone wants to throw some sort of party to welcome the baby, well, so much the better.

It's becoming more and more common to have one for each kid, just on a smaller scale for the 2nd, 3rd, etc.

I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. I think it's a little much. Especially after DH's cousin had 3 showers for her 3rd kid (oy!).

mariannerules · July 2009

I think the 2nd shower is too much. And a 3rd is out of the question. Have a meet and greet, people will bring gifts then.

redneckwmn99 · July 2009

See for me my oldest is 8 and my youngest is 6 so i have nothing still left except for a crib. And when it comes to car seats infant ones are not soppose to be uesed more then one child for saftey reasons. So what about that if its your third.

vanessaNOV2 · July 2009

oh hells yes I would have a shower for each baby. Each baby is unique and should get a chance to get new stuff. So you might have some items from the previous children that your new baby can use but that just means you prob won't need a brand new crib or stoller so just register for basic newborn stuff. If I was ur friend or fam I wouldn't think its wrong.

EastCoastBride · July 2009

There are ways to "celebrate a baby" w/o it being a SHOWER. Showers are about gifts, plain and simple. And to have yet another shower in 4 years.... yes, it's getting gift grabby. You want to have kids- great, go for it. But at some point you need to stop turning to your friends and family to stock you up on stuff. It's not their responsibility.

K-N-S · July 2009

It was my understanding that the shower is not to celebrate the baby but the celebrate the fact the you are now becoming a mother. That is why i assumed you only have one shower... because by the second child you are already a mother.

It is a celebration of going to the nect stage in your life. I agree a welcome baby party, no gifts, would be ideal.

kbud9 · July 2009

cannapeppers:
That's old school....I think every baby deserves a celebration...even if it is a "sprinkle" or if you want/need a few new things go ahead & register. I would not go overboard with the registry....but babies still need things....and friends & family love to buy baby stuff.

Agreed. My youngest is 7. I am having an informal sprinkle and have registered for a few inexpensive items. The big ticket items we either bought ourselves or borrowed

krmlaw · July 2009

yeah, i thought one is the limit ...

i would have a meet and greet the baby after they are born!

diva741 · July 2009

I would have to vote no on the 3rd shower. The only reason I say that is because your youngest is 2. If it was just the 4 year old I would say yes because by the time my DD was 4 I had thrown all her baby stuff away. I would just stick to a meet the baby party after the baby is here.

Rachel Bennett · July 2009

I really think it's totally different now adays. I think it's a personal preference and what the family wants. My family feels like every child should be celebrated and my oldest is five and we are having another girl, but didn't save everything because we lived in an apartment at the time before we bought our house and was having bins after bins piling up it was ridiculous. I find for a 3rd child if they are close to do a smaller shower, but heck yea why not.?

If people get mad that you invite then they won't come and that is the only bad part, who cares what others think is my opinion everyone has their own opinion and thoughts and let them decide if they want to come or not. I would not host your own shower though have someone else do this. ?

Rachel Bennett · July 2009

if they offer to do one for you. I would not ask for someone to throw you a shower.

SOON2BEE3 · July 2009

I wasn't going to ask for one at all. I still have all my "big" stuff but no more clothes, bottles, etc. If someone was going to throw one, which I know my sister will. Just make it like a small shower for little things like diapers, wipes, and clothes. I would never register again for strollers, cribs, carseats etc.

I am one that is NOT a packrat so I have definately got rid of all my baby clothes. I don't sell them but pass them on to family/friends that are having kids. The only thing that if this baby is a boy I have NO boy stuff left. All my baby gear is pink from my daughter.

missmandy89 · July 2009

SOON2BEE3:
Just make it like a small shower for little things like diapers, wipes, and clothes. I would never register again for strollers, cribs, carseats etc.

Umm.. can't you buy those yourself? It is your responsibility after all. Clothes don't have to be expensive (yay for clearance racks) and diapers/wipes, well.. why do people need to buy you those? :S

JulieK08 · July 2009

i agree with grandma.

spiffy · July 2009

It really depends on the regional cultural standards. My church (well, my mother's church that I attend) will have a baby shower for every baby, but only the first one is a big one with a registry, theme and everything... all second or subsequent babies are celebrated with a pack of diapers or some other necessity as a gift and with cake, punch and such.

I suppose the view is, if someone offers to throw one, have fun, but encourage them to keep it small and simple.

RoxyLynn · July 2009

SOON2BEE3:
I am one that is NOT a packrat so I have definately got rid of all my baby clothes. I don't sell them but pass them on to family/friends that are having kids. The only thing that if this baby is a boy I have NO boy stuff left. All my baby gear is pink from my daughter.

So? Why is it up to your friends and family to pay for new items simply because you didn't want older stuff in your house?

TimingisEverything · July 2009

In most cases only one shower is appropriate. Sometimes you will get one for #2 if the two are different sexes or far enough apart. But 3? No way, that is too many.

howleyshell · July 2009

"Shower" where you're blatantly asking for gifts for a 3rd time in 4 years?

TACKY.

A shower is designed to help a couple with the initial expenses that come along with a first baby. (like they help a couple set up house upon marriage)

As for the "every child deserves to be celebrated" camp - that's GREAT!

Celebrate away!! Have a "meet the baby" party after they're here.

Just be clear that you don't expect other people to continue to bring gifts.

They likely will anyway but you don't look like a total gift grabber by having yet another shower where gifts are the main focus of the party.

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