If you're having a boy...

nv2009 · July 2009

Are you getting him circumcised? My husband doesn't want us to, but I do...[Poll]

MrsBeckO · July 2009

:::applauds your proper usage of the word "you're"!:::

?

Oh wait, I'm not supposed to be on this board, am I?

mrsmyers8 · July 2009

can i ask if your husband is cir.? We talked about it, and since DH is and he feels its better, we are. If not i would wonder how do you explain to kid why they are not like daddy?

fauxshelley · July 2009

1) There is not an option for No.

2) Your dogs are cute and your husband is HOT!

ETA - #1 appears to be corrected, #2 stays the same

excited4babies · July 2009

I left it up to my DH because he is the boy. He believes we should.

nv2009 · July 2009

haha thanks

voelkels · July 2009

mrsmyers8:
can i ask if your husband is cir.? We talked about it, and since DH is and he feels its better, we are. If not i would wonder how do you explain to kid why they are not like daddy?

This exactly, I did not want to originally - mainly because I have had experience with both types and as a woman prefer uncir.- but after talking with hubby he made an excellent point about being different from daddy.

::not trying to be creepy, but shouldn't my son be good at that sort of thing in about 25 years?::

powerbar · July 2009

I am leaving it up to my husband as well since he probably has a better understanding of the subject! But if it is going to happen, it will happen before we leave the hospital!

nv2009 · July 2009

mrsmyers8:
can i ask if your husband is cir.? We talked about it, and since DH is and he feels its better, we are. If not i would wonder how do you explain to kid why they are not like daddy?

Husband, father, stepfather are all not....we are european/south american so it happens a lot. My brother however is jewish and therefore is. Not having it done is not an option for me. He is okay with it now...took a while though.

FLVintageBride · July 2009

MH and I have really talked this out quite a bit. MH was, but he was raised abroad and has a lot of friends that are not so he was never really raised thinking it was the "norm". We talked through the reasons for doing it and the only pros for circumcision that we could come up with were superficial like a) b/c daddy is; or b) b/c that's what Americans do. We have no religious custom to uphold so those two reasons just weren't enough for us to voluntarily cause our son pain and lop off the end of his sex organ.

first-time-mama · July 2009

My husband is not..but we both feel we should..

candy_mandy85 · July 2009

Yes we will be, DH is so he feels his little boy should be too.

nv2009 · July 2009

fauxshelley:

1) There is not an option for No.

2) Your dogs are cute and your husband is HOT!

ETA - #1 appears to be corrected, #2 stays the same

haha thank you! He is a hottie and such a sweet man at heart and our dogs are the cutest little things although the one on the left is a trouble maker haha

FLVintageBride · July 2009

voelkels:
mrsmyers8:
can i ask if your husband is cir.? We talked about it, and since DH is and he feels its better, we are. If not i would wonder how do you explain to kid why they are not like daddy?
This exactly, I did not want to originally - mainly because I have had experience with both types and as a woman prefer uncir.- but after talking with hubby he made an excellent point about being different from daddy.

But why does being like daddy matter that much? I'm sure there are lots of ways that your son will be different than his dad and growing up is about feeling comfortable in your own skin, not about needing to be just like everyone else. Which, I might add, is becoming more and more of a moot point this country b/c rates of circumcision are significantly declining.

TarheelsInNJ · July 2009

Yes. I left this largely up to DH, and he wants to (he is circumcised as well).

smilelari · July 2009

We are not. There is no compelling medical evidence in favor of circumcision

jessloveschase08 · July 2009

Yes we are. In the book Baby's 1st Year Week by week, they have a lot of good info.

BTW- I found out the AAP isn't against it, but they are taking a neutral stance with it saying it's up to the parent and there isn't enough evidence of either for the AAP to say Yay or Nay.

ablou · July 2009

My DH is, and he has said that if we have a boy, he doesn't want him to be circumcised. Anatomically, removing the foreskin is the same as removing the hood of the clitoris. So, the penis becomes desensitized, since it's constantly rubbing the most sensitive part on clothing. He doesn't want to mutilate his son, the way he was mutilated (his words, not mine). He isn't concerned about "looking like daddy," he will just explain to the boy why he looks different. I'm cool with whatever he decides.

Edit: we don't know what we're having yet, but we have discussed this issue.

jessloveschase08 · July 2009

FLVintageBride:

voelkels:
mrsmyers8:
can i ask if your husband is cir.? We talked about it, and since DH is and he feels its better, we are. If not i would wonder how do you explain to kid why they are not like daddy?
This exactly, I did not want to originally - mainly because I have had experience with both types and as a woman prefer uncir.- but after talking with hubby he made an excellent point about being different from daddy.

But why does being like daddy matter that much? I'm sure there are lots of ways that your son will be different than his dad and growing up is about feeling comfortable in your own skin, not about needing to be just like everyone else. Which, I might add, is becoming more and more of a moot point this country b/c rates of circumcision are significantly declining.

Well, that's how most people make their decision. I don't think it's really that big of a deal for someone to make a decision based on that... even though I think you should research it before making a decision...

jessloveschase08 · July 2009

ablou:

My DH is, and he has said that if we have a boy, he doesn't want him to be circumcised. Anatomically, removing the foreskin is the same as removing the hood of the clitoris. So, the penis becomes desensitized, since it's constantly rubbing the most sensitive part on clothing. He doesn't want to mutilate his son, the way he was mutilated (his words, not mine). He isn't concerned about "looking like daddy," he will just explain to the boy why he looks different. I'm cool with whatever he decides.

Edit: we don't know what we're having yet, but we have discussed this issue.

You really should look up info on female mutilation in comparison... It's used as a torture device and most of the time, the hood isn't the only thing removed... it's the whole clitoris, or the labia are sewn together...

Sheila.Scully · July 2009

Speaking from a totally different view point, I have taken care of both in the nursing homes. Trust me, it is horrible for the uncircumcised when there is an infection or worse it swells up and covers the tip fusing together. Nothing to do then except surgery or death. Some men come into the nursing homes after years of not being able to correctly keep themselves clean and the sores and complications are painful and can be debilitating if not deadly. That is not a religious view point at all, but horrible experiences that I have witnessed. I am having a girl right now, but my boys will be circumcised. I little pain in the beginning that they will not remember is better than years of future torment when they are of old age.

smilelari · July 2009

Sheila.Scully:
Speaking from a totally different view point, I have taken care of both in the nursing homes. Trust me, it is horrible for the uncircumcised when there is an infection or worse it swells up and covers the tip fusing together. Nothing to do then except surgery or death. Some men come into the nursing homes after years of not being able to correctly keep themselves clean and the sores and complications are painful and can be debilitating if not deadly. That is not a religious view point at all, but horrible experiences that I have witnessed. I am having a girl right now, but my boys will be circumcised. I little pain in the beginning that they will not remember is better than years of future torment when they are of old age.

Personally I don't think that a possible infection is a reason to perform an amputation pre-emptively especially when this sort of thing can be prevented with proper hygeine. I would be curious to know what percentage of uncircumcised males actually have this problem though

avbliss · July 2009

DH is and we definitely will if we have a boy. Just make sure they numb the area first. Some hospitals still go by the old belief that babies don't feel pain, and do this with no form of pain killer/numbing agent.

Bcbscorp · July 2009

My biggest issue with it is cleanliness, as a pp poster said, if not taken care of properly it can cause a lot of problems down the road. My DH isn't set either way for or against it so it may come down to a looking like daddy issue but our main concern is cleanliness overall.

Not to mention, if my child we're born in the year 200 it might be necessary to keep the foreskin for protection as clothes weren't as sophisticated as they are now.

FLVintageBride · July 2009

smilelari:

Sheila.Scully:
Speaking from a totally different view point, I have taken care of both in the nursing homes. Trust me, it is horrible for the uncircumcised when there is an infection or worse it swells up and covers the tip fusing together. Nothing to do then except surgery or death. Some men come into the nursing homes after years of not being able to correctly keep themselves clean and the sores and complications are painful and can be debilitating if not deadly. That is not a religious view point at all, but horrible experiences that I have witnessed. I am having a girl right now, but my boys will be circumcised. I little pain in the beginning that they will not remember is better than years of future torment when they are of old age.

Personally I don't think that a possible infection is a reason to perform an amputation pre-emptively especially when this sort of thing can be prevented with proper hygeine. I would be curious to know what percentage of uncircumcised males actually have this problem though

I agree. Clearly god, evolution, whatever you believe in didn't see fit for men to lack foreskin. There may be rare problems with infections, but that's not reason enough for me personally. I prefer not to mess with nature if it's not necessary.

FLVintageBride · July 2009

Bcbscorp:

My biggest issue with it is cleanliness, as a pp poster said, if not taken care of properly it can cause a lot of problems down the road. My DH isn't set either way for or against it so it may come down to a looking like daddy issue but our main concern is cleanliness overall.

Not to mention, if my child we're born in the year 200 it might be necessary to keep the foreskin for protection as clothes weren't as sophisticated as they are now.

Is your H circumcised? I'm always curious when people cite cleanliness if they actually have ever had to clean one. It just doesn't sound like rocket science to me- especially since men's bodies are made that way naturally.

FLVintageBride · July 2009

jessloveschase08:
ablou:

My DH is, and he has said that if we have a boy, he doesn't want him to be circumcised. Anatomically, removing the foreskin is the same as removing the hood of the clitoris. So, the penis becomes desensitized, since it's constantly rubbing the most sensitive part on clothing. He doesn't want to mutilate his son, the way he was mutilated (his words, not mine). He isn't concerned about "looking like daddy," he will just explain to the boy why he looks different. I'm cool with whatever he decides.

Edit: we don't know what we're having yet, but we have discussed this issue.

You really should look up info on female mutilation in comparison... It's used as a torture device and most of the time, the hood isn't the only thing removed... it's the whole clitoris, or the labia are sewn together...

I don't think PP was directly comparing circumcision to FGM. She only cited removal of the hood. It is true that FGM is very different, though both are essentially forms of mutilation. The fact that FGM is usually more severe and practiced at an older age and thus more traumatic doesn't necessarily mean that male circumcision in infants isn't also painful and mutiliating.

ablou · July 2009

jessloveschase08:
ablou:

My DH is, and he has said that if we have a boy, he doesn't want him to be circumcised. Anatomically, removing the foreskin is the same as removing the hood of the clitoris. So, the penis becomes desensitized, since it's constantly rubbing the most sensitive part on clothing. He doesn't want to mutilate his son, the way he was mutilated (his words, not mine). He isn't concerned about "looking like daddy," he will just explain to the boy why he looks different. I'm cool with whatever he decides.
Edit: we don't know what we're having yet, but we have discussed this issue.
You really should look up info on female mutilation in comparison... It's used as a torture device and most of the time, the hood isn't the only thing removed... it's the whole clitoris, or the labia are sewn together...

I researched this in college (women's studies), and it is horrible... I know that circumcision isn't a comparison to what happens elsewhere in the world, but I gave DH the responsibility of deciding whether or not to circumcise, and those are his views. I support all of his penis decisions!

Sheila.Scully · July 2009

For those who responded to my view point. I am not talking about capable men. These men are going down hill in health, either mentally or physically and have no one capable to care for them. When they do end up in facilities like where I have worked, the damage has been done. Some are alzheimers patients and others are dementia patients. They are sometimes too proud to ask for help for something so embarrassing and want their dignity intact. There is nothing dignified about how it turns out though. I am one of the many out there who have to take care of the situation after the fact and it is more common than you would think. In fact, it is an increasing problem over the years. Having been witness to this has helped form my decision and my husband already felt that way. I am not telling any one what to do, but offering another reason besides a religious one.

executrixie · July 2009

Sheila.Scully:
Speaking from a totally different view point, I have taken care of both in the nursing homes. Trust me, it is horrible for the uncircumcised when there is an infection or worse it swells up and covers the tip fusing together. Nothing to do then except surgery or death. Some men come into the nursing homes after years of not being able to correctly keep themselves clean and the sores and complications are painful and can be debilitating if not deadly. That is not a religious view point at all, but horrible experiences that I have witnessed. I am having a girl right now, but my boys will be circumcised. I little pain in the beginning that they will not remember is better than years of future torment when they are of old age.

Being a recently retired embalmer, THIS.

Also, on a personal level, and I'm sure many of you have had opposite experiences, but an ex of mine that wasn't circumcised had quite a few problems with *ahem* 'recuperation time' due to tears and such.

smilelari · July 2009

Sheila.Scully:
For those who responded to my view point. I am not talking about capable men. These men are going down hill in health, either mentally or physically and have no one capable to care for them. When they do end up in facilities like where I have worked, the damage has been done. Some are alzheimers patients and others are dementia patients. They are sometimes too proud to ask for help for something so embarrassing and want their dignity intact. There is nothing dignified about how it turns out though. I am one of the many out there who have to take care of the situation after the fact and it is more common than you would think. In fact, it is an increasing problem over the years. Having been witness to this has helped form my decision and my husband already felt that way. I am not telling any one what to do, but offering another reason besides a religious one.

Thanks for your view point

To me amputation is a pretty big deal though and it's something you do to treat, not to prevent.

Bcbscorp · July 2009

FLVintageBride:
Bcbscorp:

My biggest issue with it is cleanliness, as a pp poster said, if not taken care of properly it can cause a lot of problems down the road. My DH isn't set either way for or against it so it may come down to a looking like daddy issue but our main concern is cleanliness overall.

Not to mention, if my child we're born in the year 200 it might be necessary to keep the foreskin for protection as clothes weren't as sophisticated as they are now.

Is your H circumcised? I'm always curious when people cite cleanliness if they actually have ever had to clean one. It just doesn't sound like rocket science to me- especially since men's bodies are made that way naturally.

Yes but I have also been exposed to non circumsized. The cleanliness issue with DH and I started through a long thorough conversation with our doctor and some valid points were made. Also I'm not so worried about when my son (we dont know the sex yet) is capable of cleaning himself its those years where he's learning and whats my DH going to teach him when he's never had to do it himself!

greycoral · July 2009

I am so torn on this, and it was the only reason I was actually dreading having a boy. But we are, and now have to decide. I don't want to, but DH does, or at least is still on the fence. We are having a home birth, doing everything very naturally and organically, and I just feel that it's a bit strange to include circumcision in all of that. Not to mention our insurance doesn't pay for it, so we'd have to come up with another $400 out of pocket to do it. We've got plenty of time to decide though.

DH is circumcised, and i've never even SEEN an uncircumised penis in my entire life (other than medical photos). I wouldn't have the first clue as to how to keep it clean, etc. I know it's not rocket science, but it would be something totally different for both DH and I.

GraceOMally · July 2009

I asked my DH if he would want to go the route of circumcision and he flatly responded that it is genital mutilation and not an option.

I know that he would never ever put circumcision on the level of FGM but this is how he feels so in our house it is a non-issue.

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