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Stay at Home Moms
susanmosley
member
Falling apart by Thursdays
susanmosley
member
I usually lurk on this board...
I think falling apart is an overstatement. But does anyone else feel this way and/or have solutions?
For starters, DH works a normal business day (8-5) and then i work a few hours in the evenings and saturday and sunday mornings. He is very helpful and does more than his share around the house. I feel we both do more than our shares, which I guess means we both just do our share...
ANYWAY, I start off the week so positive with meals planned, a clean house, a to do list to keep things clean and in order, exercise (Mommy and Me stuff) scheduled, etc. I am all sorts of motivated and have a great Monday, Tuesday, and maybe Wednesday. By Thursday, the idea of cooking dinner after I get home from work around 7:30 is miserable. Usually I cook and entertain DD while DH runs/works out - remember, he has been with her since he got home, doing whatever chores he needs to do, while I was working. Then he does dishes while I bathe DD and pick up the house for bed time. We both meet in her room and put her to sleep.
I guess I just feel like our lives should not feel this busy with one little 9 month old. At this rate, I can't imagine how hectic and over scheduled we will be with two, in school, with activities, etc. My goal in life has always been simplicity. I thrive off of organization and calmness. I feel like I am loosing that by the end of the week, as does my husband. We are all too young and life is too short to spend it checking things off of the list to get to the next chore. I want to be able to sit around and play with DD and enjoy DH. I don't think this is too much to ask. I don't want us all to be worn out and stressed out by Thursday evening....dreading Friday and needing Saturday and Sunday to catch up and regroup.
How do you simplify and stay relaxed? Advice? Websites/blogs that you recommend? I know life is busier now and that is undeniable. But I don't want to fall into the habit of rushing around and accomplishing things while sacrificing the things that are truly important. I need a balance. I think I feel better from just writing this. I know it is a novel.
Anything you want to offer will be welcomed.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Falling apart by Thursdays
I don't have much advice to offer, but i just wanted to let you know you are so not alone. I work 1-2 shifts a week so I tend to have big stretches off and I go crazy by the end of it.
Just last week I commented to DH that I didn't flip out and call him a douchbag until Friday night - probably a record, I usually freak out around wednesday.
What has helped me recently is making sure I am up an hour before DS. This gives me time to eat, pump,clean the litter box, clean the bathroom, and do the breakfast dishes- basically I can put a small dent in the things that need to be done. I also make sure to take one of his naps with him- if I don't sleep I just try and lay next to him and read/rest. This gets gives me the energy to get through our evenings. Also setting goals, no matter how small, has helped me. Something about checking a little box on my list makes me feel like I have accomplished something.
Another thing that helped me is making a list of ESSENTIAL things that need to be done around the house. I let everything else go until we have free time and need a project - i.e cleaning all the windows.
I hope things get better. I, too, thrive on organization so I know how you feel.
I don't know either, but it seems to me you have a pretty strict schedule.I agree that having a system can be great to keep track of what needs to be done.But when everything you plan doesen't get accomplished it can really bring you down and raise that stress level.
Try to fit stuff in when it is most conveinient for you.If the dishes don't get done right away its not the end of the world.Don't always have a set "plan", try to go with the flow.I know this helps me alot.My DH works 65+ hour weeks and is no help around the house, and tries to spend as much of his free time with the kids, but its still not much help.By coming to understand that everyday will hold surprises and learning to deal as they come,I am able to manage a hyper 5 yr old boy, my nine mth old DS, and have a clean home, with very few "freak outs."
I love me a clean house too...but it's more important to get down on your hands and knees with the little one than get the house organized and clean.
DH sometimes is mad when the floors are full of footprints--but they're footprints of her crawling and exploring her little world.
Life is all about your children now and really enjoy them! ?My big mistake was worrying about the housework when she was a newborn and now I don't really remember her first few months.
?
I don't work part-time, so I don't know if my suggestions will be helpful. One thing that I do that helps me with dinners on busy nights is on a non-busy night I'll make a normal-sized recipe and split it into 2 containers. Then I cook one and freeze the other one in a corningware dish that DH or I can pop in the oven. Maybe on Thursday nights, your DH could pop something in the oven an hour or so before you got home and dinner would be ready when you got there.
I always have more energy in the morning, so if the house isn't totally picked up before bed, I don't sweat it. I just finish cleaning when I get up. We also designate Saturday as a fun day and Sunday as clean up/chore day, so we don't feel like we spend the whole weekend catching up from the week.
Also, I think things will get easier when your DD gets a little older because you can involve her in some of your to do list stuff. I bought S a toy broom, so she "helps" me clean during the day. She also likes to help unload and put away groceries.
My DH helps a ton, too, but there are still weeks where I feel pretty fried by Thursday. Getting outside as much as possible helps my mood a lot. Good luck!
It does sound like it's making dinner that's pushing you over the edge. My mind went first to thing to make that easier... crockpot meals. casserole you made earlier. frozen pizza. rotisserie chicken. leftovers. sandwich night. omelet and toast night...
But are we oversimplifying? What do you think is different about Thursday? Is it just making dinner after work? Or that you need a break earlier in the week? Because you say you work several nights per week, so if you're working on a Mon-Wed then how are those nights different?
It does get easier as they get older. They get a little more flexible in their schedules, easier to entertain or can entertain themselves. I don't think I've really gotten that much better at organization/planning/time management, so I have to assume that my baby is just letting me have a few more minutes to get stuff done.
Thanks Jen
To answer your questions - I work M, T, W, Th evenings but am only gone between 2 and 2 1/2 hours total each night (includes driving and working - NOT that much). I think what is different by Thursday is that I (WE - my DH feels it too) am just tired and don't feel like doing it all again. I think I have enough energy and motivation to be non stop M, T, W, but by Thursday we are just spent and want down time. It seem to all catch up with us at that point.
So, since writing this post, I have made some decisions. Wednesday during one of DDs naps I will prep baked ziti. DH can pop it in the oven while I am at work. Virtually no cooking and minimal dishes. Thursday, we are either making a pizza or ordering take out. I also realized I can cut the veggies, shred cheese, etc on Sunday and have them in the fridge ready to use for the week. Dicing onions, garlic, etc night after night specifically bugs me!
I have to think ahead more and just as I plan for everything else, I need to plan around the fact that we know we burn out by Thurday, so we will start cutting corners by Wednesday!
Thanks for the mini-therapy session. You guys have been helpful.