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random emo.

someflower6someflower6 member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

it's weird that things that get to me sometimes. i can deal with pregnant women and babies and all that stuff, but finding out that mike d. is coming for a visit at work really depresses me.

who is mike d you ask? he is the project manager of a software program my work has aquired. my coworker and i are the primary points of contact for this set up. in march, mike d spent two weeks with us, training us on the software. he is coming back at the end of august for a follow up.

so why is this so upsetting? on the last day of the training session in march, my husband and i went to washington d.c. and that is where i got knocked up. when i found out i was pregnant, i always associated that  washington trip, in connection with that training session, to my BFP. even after the training session, we would have weekly teleconferences with mike and he's always ask how we were doing or "what's been happening" since he left. i kept thinking of telling him "well, since you left, i got knocked up!". then i thought, how funny would it be if the next time he visited, in august, i was all cute and round and pregnant. big suprise for him!

i would be in my second trimester. i'd know if it was a boy or a girl.

eh. it's just a reminder of my disapointment. it just reminds me of how excited i was about being pregnant. i loved being pregnant. i loved getting to know my peanut every day. i swear, peanut and i had this "secret bond" and i KNEW him, i would talk to him. i was really looking forward to meeting him. i was looking forward to everyone meeting him, even mike d, who for all practical purposes is a random stranger. but it was still that kind of excitement.

and now this kind of disapointment. Broken Heart

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Re: random emo.

  • footsiefootsie

    I associate people and things with milestones in my life too.  I'm sorry contact with him reminds you of what could have been. 

    I don't have a mike d. in my life but like you we know where we conceived.  We were in Montreal when we conceived this last time and were making up funny stories about our kids asking for poutine in little french accents.  Now we want to make babies all around the world.  Since we want to go to Japan someday we are making up stories about our kids asking for sushi in Japanese accents.

    Maybe you can arrange a fun getaway TTC when you are ready to create new memories.
     

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  • sinisterkat01sinisterkat01

    I'm so sorry . . . it's so weird the type of things that can remind of you of being pg, and then cause that disappointment.  There are lots of things that I imagned doing well I was pg, that are not going to be the same anymore.  Everything from my high school reunion to our work Halloween party to even Christmas.

    (((HUGS)))

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