Who to invite...

monica93555 · June 2009

I've never been to a baby shower before so I don't know what to expect Heck I didn't even know that the person who is throwing your shower pays for it. I offered my best friend some money and she said it doesn't work that way!

Anyhow, we live in California and are pretty sure our family in Oregon and Missouri won't make it out. On the invites we will include where were registerd at. Is it rude to send out invites to these people knowing they will probablly not make it? I guess the reasons why I want to send them out is so they don't feel excluded and in case they wanted to buy a gift.

What do you guys think?

hopefulmom · June 2009

Unless the people are your parents, grandparents, godparents or really, really close relatives or your best friends I would not send them invites to a shower you know they will not come to. I would probably wait and send out baby announcements once the baby is born. That way, if they want to send a gift they will at that time. Just invite those that you are close to in your area (work, church, friends, any family, etc). IF other people (in Oregon and Missouri) hear of your shower and are upset just give your reason for not inviting them (distance). Make sure your mom knows where you are registered in case people ask her.

Christina79 · June 2009

Personally, I would only send the invites if they are really close relatives. Like sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers.

EastCoastBride · June 2009

Ditto hopeful. MOST mature, normal, rational women are NOT offended to not be invited to a shower they can't realistically go to.

I dont' see showers as "Oh- I need to make everyone feel included" events because of the fact that they are blatant "buy me a gift" events. What are you "including" them in? IN allowing them to buy you a gift?

Keep the list to local people and people like your mom and sisters who may really want to come.

ctana · June 2009

Christina79:
Personally, I would only send the invites if they are really close relatives. Like sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers.

This, pretty much. Good luck!

BTW, people are very funny on these boards about showers. I would say about 95% of the showers I've been invited to have been for people I truly cared about and wanted to celebrate their good news by attending their shower, celebrating with them, and in turn purchasing a gift I know they appreciate, need and will use. I can count on one hand how many I felt like it was a blantant "oh they just want a gift from me" invite.

monica93555 · July 2009

ctana:

Christina79:
Personally, I would only send the invites if they are really close relatives. Like sisters, mothers, aunts, grandmothers.

This, pretty much. Good luck!

BTW, people are very funny on these boards about showers. I would say about 95% of the showers I've been invited to have been for people I truly cared about and wanted to celebrate their good news by attending their shower, celebrating with them, and in turn purchasing a gift I know they appreciate, need and will use. I can count on one hand how many I felt like it was a blantant "oh they just want a gift from me" invite.

Yeah and that's what I don't want to come off like. But these people are close relatives to us but they just don't get out much to California because they all work busy schedules (some are business owners, others are too old to travel, and I have a close aunt who is a hospital administrator... she has a crazy schedule). But I feel guilty about not including them in all this. Someone suggested no invite for them but definately send them an announcement and that's what I'll end up doing.

Who to invite...

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