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Exhausted by 2nd shift

noonecarewhoiamnoonecarewhoiam
in Working Moms

Let me start by saying that I love my job and my kids, but lately the combination of the two is kicking my butt. Add to that a raging case of PMS and I'm about ready to run away and change my name!

I have 2 boys, the younger of whom is 17 months, a real handful, and a total Momma's boy. He's in daycare all day until his daddy picks him up.

DS#1 is home all day with DH, who is a teacher, so off for the summer.

DH doesn't/can't cook, rarely cleans, and acts as though asking him to do these things is infringing on his vacation.

When I get home (my job is relatively stressful, made more so by the economic uncertainty), I have to BEG DH to watch DS#2 long enough for me to make dinner--and he acts really put out, like he shouldn't have to parent any more because I'm home, and he's done it all day.

As a result, my house is a disaster, I have no time to myself (in fact I have no self), my stress level is through the roof, my job suffers because I'm always having to leave early/not travel/etc, and my relationship with my husband is pretty crappy. I'm defensive, exhausted, and depressed.

How can I get my husband to hear me when I try to tell him, because I fear we're at an impass?

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Re: Exhausted by 2nd shift

  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    Sorry.  I would sit down with your DH when you are not stressed or in the middle of everything and have a really good heart to heart.  maybe write out what you want to say first so you have it all thought out and it doesn't come across to bad.  Explain how you feel and try not to put it all on him.  Maybe plan a date night and get a sitter or a date afternoon one weekend.  Good luck.  If my DH pulled that crap - he would be out the door if he didn't shape up.  Sorry but its not like you are taking the day off and playing yourself - you are at work.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • luvmagoldnluvmagoldn

    My DH is wonderful, don't get me wrong, but he has a tendency to go sit on the couch and surf after we put the boys to bed.  Umm...no.  We need to clean up the kitchen, pick up toys, run some laundry, send out some bills, pack our lunches for the next day, etc, etc, etc.  There is no rest for the weary in our house!  And that's with cleaning people and a lawn service (I highly recommend both).

     He will do his part if I ask but if he gets pissy that I'm asking I have to remind him that there is plenty for each of us to do.  You would think I wouldn't have to ask anymore but I do.

    image

    My twins are 5! My baby is 3!

    DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi

    DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame

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