Really bad first OB appointment

AtlJuneBride · July 2009

I had my first OB appointment and I havent stopped crying since. Basically my OB was my GYN before fertility treatment and I liked him b/c he was so quick and efficient with the pap and exams. I think this is a trait that does not translate to the OB world. He was so quick with the u/s and had it turned so that DH and I could barely see the screen. The he said "8 weeks 3 days, is that about where you are?" To which I said, Uhm no! He re-measured and got 8w4d but I should be measuring close to 9 weeks!! Then he said that the heartrate was good and I asked him what it was and he said "in the 150's" and I was disappointed again since it was close to 150 last time and then he said "Well it's pretty strong it's probably even faster than that." Then we saw the baby move which was the only cool part of the whole thing. So I was crying and upset afterwards so he said he'd see me again in 2 weeks to reassure me but that he thinks everything is just fine and he's not concerned. Is it normal for OBs to act this way?? Both my mom and DH think I'm overreacting and my mo thinks I'm too used to the RE "hand holding" me. That may be true, but I have never measured that far behind, usually it's only a day or two, not 5 whole days. Am I getting too worked up??

soccerwife · July 2009

It's totally normal. Expect every appointment to be like that. It sucks, but it is what it is.

InLove24 · July 2009

My OB is just like that. I have to ask him to give me all the measurements. He always says everything looks good , which I'm thankfull for that. I think we were just really spoiled with RE where he spent a lot of time explaining everything.

Mrs.Babbsy · July 2009

My OB talked to me a lot during my first appointment. He was awesome, but he knew all my struggles and I knew I was high risk from the beginning due to mono-di twins.

I would say it's not right, but I am also used to "hand holding". I think all doctors should have bed side manner.

flbeachcouple · July 2009

Are you too worked up? Yes. If you don't like the way he rushes through the appointments like he has in the past, I would change. It is the way he operates. It was OK before but not now. You have changed~ not him.

Ultrasounds can be off by several days. I got 2 different EDD( 4 days different) from the same tech on the same day. It is very early.

I don't mean to sound harsh. You are emotional. It is an emotional journey. Think about things and decide if this is who you want treating you for the next 9 months.

GL with whatever you decide. Hugs to you. Glad to hear that the information you did get was good.

nicolita14w · July 2009

I'm sure your baby is just fine-- it's normal for the measurements to be off by as much as a week (or sometimes even more). When I was pg, DS sometimes measured a few days behind, sometimes right on, and once 2 weeks ahead. And the heartrate sounds great.

But you are going to be having a lot of appts over the next few months and if this OB's bedside manner is not as nurturing as what you hoped for don't hesitate to switch. Especially after going through IF it's perfectly reasonable to want a doctor who takes more time with you and goes over things in more detail. I wouldn't have been able to stick with a doctor that rushed things that much-- in your case I would have switched, too.

GypsyEsq · July 2009

I think it's pretty cool you got an u/s at today's appointment but to answer your real question - yes, it's very different with an OB once you get used to an RE. Also, those in office machines aren't usually very good so what sounded like estimating and blowing through things quickly to you could have just been the limits of the in-office technology. That said, if you're not happy with your OB you can certainly find another one that will be more to your liking. Some OBs like to treat infertility patients like regular pregnant ladies once they get there and others are more sensitive to our specific worries and concerns. And if you need to change for your peace of mind then you're doing what's best for you. Lots of women here have done just that. Don't feel bad for needing what you need.

Littlemac4 · July 2009

Yes, I'd say a little too worked up, but that's totally normal... RE's are so much more patient than OB's so it is quite the shock to the system. Ultrasounds can be up to 5 days off in either direction so I would not worry about that and as for the heartrate, he probably was not really counting it, my OB never tells me what it is. They are always so quick in and out of the room I often forget the questions I want to ask...it's annoying and then I end up having to call the nurse and ask her my questions... Oh well, that's what I'm paying them for. Cheer up, sounds like the baby is great!!! I hope you next appointment makes you feel better!

AtlJuneBride · July 2009

Thanks ladies, I've calmed down some. This OB knew about my IF so I thought he'd be a little more thorough but I guess not. I am giving him another chance to redeem himself (now that he knows what a sensitive, needy patient I am

) at the next u/s but if he isn't a little more thorough I will definitely start looking for a new OB, I want to feel happy after my ultrasounds, not sad!

DotGrl03 · July 2009

I could have written this myself! Hang in there, give him one more chance, then ask yourself if he is someone you feel comfortable with, and if he is patient to answer all your questions.

Don't worry too much about the measurements being off - it'll be fine!

qtpa2t · July 2009

Ditto. ?My first OB appointment was really disappointing. ?I felt like the midwife had no understanding of what I had been through, down to having to explain to her what the injectibles were. ?Very disappointing. ?I think you have two choices - you can sit and reflect on it and decide whether it's worth continuing with this doctor or find another OB. ?For my peace of mind, I made an appointment with another, but now that there have been a couple of weeks in between, I'm wondering if the first will be just fine. ?I'll likely cancel the second appointment soon.

skoorbnibor · July 2009

the difference between 8w4d and 9w0d is literally a hair! SOoooo tiny a difference! It is upsetting because we are so used to REs who are much more detail oriented, and then we go to big picture OBs, who guestimate heart rates and so on...

It is normal, but remember you are paying for his time, so do not hesitate to ask him to slow down and let you ask questions

piccolina09 · July 2009

Sorry about your appt. I have to say if you are not happy switch!! Its too long and too important of a time to be unhappy. I wish I could have stayed with my gyn but he doesnt do ob anymore so I had to switch and so far, I like her. She is compassionate and never in a rush with me and knows my anxiety because of my journey with IF. At our first appt we did not have an u/s scheduled and after we spoke for quite a while about my history she got right on the horn to see if the tech could fit me in for an u/s just so
I could see the babies and feel relief.

dusk42 · July 2009

The measurements are fine, but I didn't like my first OB, and switching was the best thing I could have done. I am so much happier going to appointments now.

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