I really wish I could fast forward my life right now. Carrying two and knowing I will not bring home 2 is incredibly hard for me to reconcile. I'm heartbroken. I'm scared. I'm detached and hate being pregnant now. I feel weak and hate my self pity. I'm angry and question my faith. You name it - I feel it!
Today has been my best day so far. Ironically, today is the best day I've probably felt physically since conceiving. Emotionally, I haven't been too bad either. I actually slept last night. I have been very busy smothering my children with hugs and enjoying the simple pleasures of watching them play in the pool, eat ice cream and enjoy other summer treats.
It's when I'm alone that I hurt the most. So, I plan on tomorrow being as busy as today!
Thanks for checking in with me. I get tremendous help from these boards and it feels good to *talk*
Ugh. I'm so, so sorry. That's not something anyone should ever have to deal with. It's just too much, and I can definitely understand wanting to fast forward through it. Stay busy, cry, lean on people, do whatever you need to do to get yourself through this. I'm proud of you for being present for your other children.
Re: *kdbennet*
I really wish I could fast forward my life right now. Carrying two and knowing I will not bring home 2 is incredibly hard for me to reconcile. I'm heartbroken. I'm scared. I'm detached and hate being pregnant now. I feel weak and hate my self pity. I'm angry and question my faith. You name it - I feel it!
Today has been my best day so far. Ironically, today is the best day I've probably felt physically since conceiving. Emotionally, I haven't been too bad either. I actually slept last night. I have been very busy smothering my children with hugs and enjoying the simple pleasures of watching them play in the pool, eat ice cream and enjoy other summer treats.
It's when I'm alone that I hurt the most. So, I plan on tomorrow being as busy as today!
Thanks for checking in with me. I get tremendous help from these boards and it feels good to *talk*
Kari
Ugh. I'm so, so sorry. That's not something anyone should ever have to deal with. It's just too much, and I can definitely understand wanting to fast forward through it. Stay busy, cry, lean on people, do whatever you need to do to get yourself through this. I'm proud of you for being present for your other children.
Any update on Baby B?
Baby B is kicking up a storm! Last night I saw him moving! DH still won't touch my belly but, I can understand his defense mechanism.
I'm staying busy and hopeful.
My next OB appt is next Wed and next Peri appt is next Fri. I will keep you posted with our progress :-)
Kari